Hi All,

Well, as you may know there is a custody battle going on between FOW #2 and ex-H over OC (Ry). Ex-H wants full custody PERIOD. They are going to court on the 16th of this month and FOW #2 and her family have asked me to lend any support regarding ex-H's character. I have plenty of "official" documentation from the courts regarding ex-H and current OW, and will probably give them copy.

Anyway .... when talking with FOW's grandmother last night she tells me that her son (we'll call him Hank) saw Lana (current OW) in a bar this last Wednesday night, without ex-H.

But more importantly, OW was sitting on ex-H's best friend's lap and they were going at it. To quote Hank "she was sucking on his neck and kissing him all over the place, they were HOT and HEAVY". Hank said he went up and talked to OW, and she was drunk and didn't recognize him right away. And when she did, she immediately started making excuses for her behavior.

Said she was just lettiing off steam and stress from being a full time SAHM from raising all the kids her and ex-H have. And that ex-H was fine with her going out at night to let off some steam.

Then the next morning OW called OC's GM and started again explaining herself in fear GM may have gotten the wrong impression from her son and what he saw her doing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> GM played dumb and acted as tho she knew nothing.

I'm just speechless. But there's more.

This Kareoke bar that OW frequents is right down the street from ex-H and OW's house. My ex-H's best friend owns it. And this best friend is the same best friend that OW was boinkin before/during when my ex-H was having his affair with her. On our answering machine, OW threatened to have sex with H's BF if my H wouldn't leave me.

I also hear my ex-H constantly brags to everyone what an absolute wonder Lana (OW) is. How she is the best mother and fiancee. How they are a family.

They have been living together now for 8 mos, I just wonder if this is the beginning of the end.
I don't know what to think, and a part of me is so upset to know that Ryan may be subjected to more unstableness. I swear you'd think everything they have put people thru, and with these small children in mind, why in the world won't they make themselves act mature and quit the cheating behavior.

Guess this is what's suppose to happen, Karma and all. I almost feel bad that my ex-H will most likely get to feel all the facets of betrayal he put me thru. I'm afraid OW's behavior sounds very much like what Dr. Phil talked about on his show. Meaning, what do infidelity-couples expect when they enter into an adultery-based relationship that is void of integrity and honor. A foundation of sand with just more of the same.

Thanks for listening. I'd love to hear what you all think of the recent events.

Lv,
Jo

<small>[ December 09, 2002, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

I just don't get it. Now that she's got him, why is she messing around on him???

Resilient....how did you handle 2 OC's? I'm about to jump overboard with just the thought of one!
And karma, yes, you can call it that but God says....vengeance is mine!

Angelia

What goes around - comes around. Your cheating ex is going to soon find out the HELL he put you thru, and it's so sad that you won't be there to pick up his shattered heart and dreams...
Of course, I echo what everyone else on this Thread says - what did he expect trying to build a lifetime relationship born out of adultery and cheating??? He's headed for a Fall, and it's going to be ugly.
Better duck!
Harold

Resilient,

This would be extremely funny if it weren't for Ry or the other kids. Then those two could screw up their lives to their hearts' content. It would be fun to take pics and show them around, but it probably wouldn't do any good. As for what I think, I still think what I've always thought: they're both insane and no one can help them. Hopefully, FOW #2 will stay on the straight and narrow and be able to maintain custody.

My word,

Now was that FOW #2 or was that OW current, past, or present? I am unsure whther it should be OW or simply OWM... HaHa... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That is one mess of people that your ex is connected with in some way. I tried to keep everyone of them straight but alas for me, it is better that I don't try. I will just read your posts and sigh.

It is comical other than for your son and the other children involved. You will have to hold tight and be the strength for your son. It will now, however, be an additional burden for you, and actually probably every single mother with boys, to find some sort of stable male presence. I guess optimally it would be a new husband that can fulfill the rolemodel of a good man, husband, and father. It is very apparent that your ex is not going to be the type of person that you want your son to emulate.

I feel deeply for the women in these types of situations. Having to be the stable 'father' for their children. For that matter, I fear for myself and the men trying to be the 'mother' to our children. Even with the other spoouse involved, it is apparent that their ability to be a stable and conscientious parent has been and is still suspect in the least, although it seems more likely abhorent.

Women with boys are at an extreme disadvantage I think. Boys are so fragile. They get their cues from the men in their lives so easially. They need someone that they can look up to and see how a man should be. How a man should interact with others but most especially with his family and women. They need someone that they can watch and learn from. They need someone that 'holds the door for others' all the time, so that they can learn respect and that they too 'should hold the door.'

Girls I thankfully do not have with my current wife. For many reasons I am now so thankful that we did not have a daughter. First of all, because I would be trying to raise her without the knowledge of what it is like to be a woman. I would try, but it would be very difficult. Second, the closest role model that she would have to emulate would be my ex, who I absolutely would never want my daughter to become. I look at my wife and see that she is just like her mother. She is actually a little worse, because she has so much anger and refuses to take any responsibility, at least her mother at 70 has realized that she does alot of things that hurt others. I look at my wife and thank God over and over for her. I loved her completely, but I would never want my children to grow up like her.

Maybe some day I will find a lovely woman that can help me raise my children. Perhaps if she has children I can fulfill the need of a man in their lives as well. Perhaps if things were good for us, we could share our love and have another child between us. I do want more children, I really would love a daughter. Perhaps we will give each other the partner that will allow my boys to see how they should treat a woman, wife, and lover. Perhaps I will be there to help her teach her/our children what a man with integrity, love and passion is like. Oh, to be wrapped around a little 'pink one's' finger. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It is our responsibility to teach these traits to our children. We must be cognizant of the fact that although our spouses have chosen the path they have, that we are now doubly liable for teaching our children not only our own skills and virtues, but those which would have been taught by a loving spouse. The person doesn't have to be a spouse I suspect, just someone close enough to the children to allow them to see a stable rolemodel. Close friends, relatives, etc.

But for me, I pray for a lovely woman in my future. I am not afraid of commitment, nor of loving again. I am more afraid of not finding who I want to be with than being afraid of the thought of having someone again.

We have so many more things that we must now work on. But it will all be worthwhile when we are able to see the men and women that we have raised. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

my X knows OW will cheat on him. she has a history of cheating on her H. the only thing X will say is that she is the only one that wants him. What about me? I tried to get him to stop seeing ow but he wouldnt. Now D he hangs on to her because he loves her & he lost everything. its a false pride that cost him his only son. Some people never learn from their mistakes. I believe my X will share OW with other men, he used to share her with her H. Whats the difference? Its the new life style X has choosen. X now has a open relationship with OW, she wears his ring but can sleep with others. X told me ow will not be the only woman he sleeps with.

m-too long
c-13, 29, 8 gd
d-5-02
me-48, x-43

OW-32
c-3 under 10
d-7-02
m-10yrs

Hi Angelia,

You ask me how I coped with 2 OCs. Believe me, there were some very very dark times I went thru.

To be honest and this is very hard to write or admit, one day in particular (Easter Sunday '2000) was a day I came very near to ending my life. That day a miracle happened, and without going into detail, just know without God's intervention I would not be here to type this.

Lean on people that love you, Angelia. That includes God. He never foresakes you.

Love,
Jo

Jo,

Honestly, I think I would just stay out of it, I know your concerned about the kids and all, but why add this to you plate..Let them fight it out..

was he a good dad when he was with his son? or did he neglect him?

Who do you think would be the better parent over all?

personally it just sounds to me like they are trying to use you to blast your ex-h, yes he was a lying cheating..whatever..but your divorced from him now, and he's not really your concern, is OW #2 upset and fighting for custody because he didn't marry her?? I mean, what are her motivations behind it all?

now to respond to the other...

why is it or should it be unbelievable?

I mean she didn't care he was married to you, so why should she care she's involved with him?

but again, it's their relationship..and you no longer have to be drug into the middle of any of it..You can explain..We're divorced..it's his life, his consequences..let him deal with it..