Today I had to go to an engagement party and I called my stbx on his cell phone to see how the baby was, well he accused me of bad mouthing him to his friends saying that he is a cheater. I told him that I did not such thing and to ignore what they were saying. Well he didn't believe me and threatened me by saying "you better be careful what you say to people or else" and then added "you may think you are so smart but there is always someone smarter than you".

I don't like to be threatened. It is like he is trying to stop me from talking to my friends. I have been so busy lately that I haven't had a chance to talk to anyone but he doesn't believe me.

What can I do about this?

It would seem to me, that, a simple denial would suffice. After that, I would let him believe what he wants to believe. I would not let him intimidate me with threats. I would believe that GOD would help me to handle each and every challenge he throws my way.

You need to try to stop being so intimidatable. Tell him to give it his best shot.. All he seems to be able to do is scare you, criticize you and put his Mama first. You can stop letting it get to you anytime you want.

Hi Baby,

Just another tactic. There will be more, be prepared for them. However, he who cast the first stone?????. Is it possible that guilt is setting in? How long until this is final?

If all you have said is the facts there should be nothing to worry about. After all it is not your fault. I just went to a Christmas party with some friends of ours w/out H and people were asking where he was and I told them flat out he moved out and left us so I don't know what he is doing. It was a weird situation but, I am not going to lie to these friends of ours. As you know people will take the things you have said and run with them. But I feel my H has made his bed and the choices he has made destroyed our family, not that I want to seek revenge on him but I need to be strong and know that he made the disicions that he did and he needs to face them. He wants everything to be well our marriage didn't work and that is it. Well how about the wife wants the marriage to work but I choose not too and choose a different life that I don't want anyone to know about and I don't want to answer to anyone about my actions so I will leave and do what I want with no guilt because no one knows about my secret life..........Ok that would be much better, but as I said don't worry. Plus it will all come out sooner or later right. I'm not running from it, I have had to accept it and sounds like the H does not want to admit or take any responsibiliy for his actions.

I wish you the best of luck and hang in there, My H gets papers served to him tomorrow....

Christine

Sue,

I don't have any guilt, believe you me. I am not the one who wanted the divorce in the first place. I just plain hate him!!! He treats me like trash. I can't believe after five and a half years of marriage that he could hate me so much. We have a mediation scheduled for January 13, 2003. My stbx Attorney requested it and my Attorney feels it is a good idea. The worst that will happen is negotiating will not work and we go to court. I would like to avoid that if I can. I heard from a friend today who told me that my stbx wants to have the baby three days a week. I don't know if that is reasonable or not. What do you think?

Christine, good luck with everything. I know how nervous I was the day my stbx got served. I actually knew who his Attorney was and had my Attorney serve his Attorney.

My X tried the same thing with me, OW was going to take me to court over calling her a whore. I only called her that to him or my close friends. Im not covering up for them. If we go to court she can explain why she was down a dirt road outside city limits in patrolcar with my H. Rumor has it she was doing her weekly oral sex job on him. What else would you call her, she should have been home with her H & 3 small kids. X admitted it wasnt A, just oral sex. people that both X & OW worked with called her a whore. But they did it behind their backs. I would not worry about what he says. I would love to have X take me back, with all the new information about them. It would be heaven. OW X would love to have a judge hear what kind of mother she really is.
m-too long
c-13, 29, 8 gd
d-5-02
me-48, x-43

ow-32
c-3 under 10
d-7-02
m-10yrs

Hi Baby,
I didn't mean you were feeling guilty, I meant him. Sorry, I was not clear.

As far as him having the baby 3 days a week, how do you feel about it? What does your attorney say? How will that affect the child support? This could be a way for him to get out of paying child support. Three days a week is almost 1/2 time. Most visitations is every other weekend. How will this arrangement work for him after he is done with school? He has to work.

Have you looked into alternative care for the baby after the D is final? You need to be prepared.