About a week before our divorce was to be final I informed my wife that I was concerned about her well being. I first asked her if she was dating anyone? At first she lied. Then after repeatedly asking she said yes she was. (I knew she was) You see I've been getting harrassed (phone calls, and strange cars following me, once I was driven off the road onto the shoulder) There have been a few occasions that I have also been physically hurt my these "bad people" once in Seattle and once on the Eastside. After the first physical incident I contacted the police. At first it seemed like they did nothing. Then I started getting phone calls from detectives. They were concerned about what I knew about my "wifes BF" (really pisses me off) and my wife. I told them I didn't know a thing and that my wife and I barely have civil conversations. They informed me that my "wifes BF" had been involved in several attacks on women where rapes and physical abuse were sited. Now my nightmare begins. I find out she's been having sexual relations with this rapist and the police tell me she could be next. The police have not been able to directly link any evidence to these attachs. A few of his friends are directly involved also. I hestitate for weeks to tell my wife because I know she will think I'm full of crap. I've been told by the police to make sure I can trust my wife before I say anything. (I recently found out that "wifes BF" likely has HIV from a woman he abused. Arg...Will it end? If my wife confronts the "bad people aka. wife's BF" she may be in serious danger.

Finally last week my wife and I have good converstaion and I decide to slowly say something to her about what I know. (we've been living apart for about 6 months) I get everything out and she believes me...Thank you Lord. The "BF" has a key to our house so she needs to change the locks. I volunteer to help her change the locks. I see her that night for the first time in 5 months. Wierd seeing each other. But ok for now. I spend the night in the extra room.

Next day we decide that for both of our safety and because my roommate wants me out that I will move into our house. WOW. A lot at once. We talked a lot. We cried a lot. So glad to know she is safe and I am too.

So now everything is wierd. I want to work on our marriage, after we both get our personal issues figured out. (this maybe be months I do realize) She has had divorce on her mind for so long that she only can see divorce as the only option. She wants her own space. She wants to learn more about herself. She wants to continue to grow like she has in the past months that we have been apart. It's hard knowing how to act around her. I'm being myself most of the time. Giving her the time she needs. So much more...

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wow, Witty,

This really IS a strange situation.

I'm so sorry your life includes this creep, and his life-threatening antics.

I'm also glad to hear your W appears to be peeking out from the "fog" a little bit.

As far as what you can do, just Plan A. Love her unconditionally. Continue to do so, and she will continue to peer out from the fog and finally SEE what she has wrought.

Also, please watch over your shoulder, as this creep really sounds like a dangerous sort. Keep local police informed as to any out-of-the ordinary activities around you and W.

Keep us informed, 'k?

God Bless,

WittyMan-

Don't fight the divorce or oppose it in any way. What you say yourself has the answer in it. She has had D on her mind for so long........
The best you can do is encourage and support & agree. This is what she will appreciate from you most of all. You won't be scoring any points by tryimg to convince her to work on the marriage.

The divorce will not end everything, as you will find out. When that happens, make sure she sees you as a real friend (one who understands her), not someone in her past she needs to forget.
My 2 cents.

muzohead
PS- Don't lose the Brownie points you scored by protecting her, by being a jerk in some other way

If the guy that your wife was involved in has HIV she should get herself tested ASAP for HIV and other STDs.