My W and I are gitting a divorce. We are going to have joint custody. We have been seeking advice on how to best work the plan to benefit our 4 year old twin boys. I have actually performed more parenting of the children but believe that my W can handle her share.Some people are telling us that the boys should sleep at one house for 1 to 3 months at a time, with the other parent seeing the child twice per week but returning the child for sleep at the other parents house and then the parent gets the child for thge weekend every other week. I am not in favor of this at all. I prefer either 1 week on or aschedule like FSS, MT, WT, where the children switch frequently. We are getting differing opinions on this subject. Can you help?

Dear Father of Twins,<P>I feel for you, and I'm sorry you're going through a divorce. My first suggestion, and it could be late for it, is have you tried? Is it really over, etc. Questions you've heard before. <P>My second suggestion comes from personal experience. NOT that I suggest divorcing, I just went through hell trying to save my marriage (and we are now happy AGAIN for 9 months), but I am divorced from my first husband and we had twins (boy/girl). We divorced when they were 2 1/2. We also had joint custody with physical custody w/ me. We shared visitation, alternating weeks, w/ Mother's Day w/ me, Father's day w/ him and Christmas, Easter, etc. changed every year.<P>Our children are now almost 14 years old. They still see their dad (not very often -works hard long hours. I remarried when they were 6 1/2 yrs. old. My H loves them is a DAD to them and they adore him, BUT I have always made sure they interact with their natural Dad and life has run smoothly.<P>One thing though to watch out for. When my ex-h remarried he and his wife wanted to have custody of the boy alone. INSANE I know, the judge told them that you not only don't separate siblings, you DON"T separate twins. We are ALL very happy now, and always were very civil with eachother. When they were younger the visitation was easier, but as they grew and got a "life of their own" activities, little league, cheering, etc. OUR lives revolved around theirs. So it wasn't when he or I could see the kids, but when their schedule permitted it...Not bad. <P>Just have a healthy relationship with them, keep them in one stable place physcially and have the weekend visitation, w/ longer periods during summer vacation. Remember school will start for them next year and you don't want to be pulling kids around uncessarily.<P>Hope all this helped, or at least you know you aren't alone.<BR>All the best to you and your family. You are in my prayers. <BR>Pookie