You asked some questions on another thread but it was closed before I got to answer them so I will try and do that now if it is OK.

1. How are you protecting yourself these days? If you give in to temptation, how do you recover and move forward?

I am protecting myself through my SA program, my accountability partners, I am real involved in church, and my kids keep me protected. When your kids look at you and blame you for what has happened and your little girl cries her eyes out and says " I don't want mommy marrying anyone else and it's your fault she is not here" and your son says "The ultimate thing would be for you and mom to get back together", you will keep doing what is right.

I really don't have a problem with temptation to much anymore because now I recognize when I am looking at someone the wrong way, and the times when I am most vulnerable. Mainly I pray about it and I am OK. In the SA program the practical steps are recognizing when you are getting into the "ZONE" as we call it and praying about it, calling one of your buddies in the program, or calling your accountability partner before you go to far. To be honest with you I haven't had to do that in a long time.

The inner change you go through helps the most. I guess the best example I can give is someone who has a problem with their eating habits. In order to change them they have to totally rethink how they are to eat and change the inner thinking of what is healthy. They will never want to give up food but when they change the inner thinking and relearn how to eat then they will begin to learn how to be healthy. A sex addict is a lot like this. They will never give up sex but when they relearn what is healthy for them they will be like the overeater and it will change their life forever for the good.

2. How are you showing yourself trustworthy to your ex-wife? Does she give you opportunities to be around her together with the kids?

I am trying anyway I can to show her I can be trusted again. It is really hard with them living 45 minutes away but I offer to do things and I try to be compassionate to her needs. I try to take care of the things she ask me too. I am always thinking of how I can make things easier on her. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

She is engaged to a man she has known for only a few months so she is trying to move on with her life. She doesn't give me the opportunity to do things with her and the kids. I guess that is why it hurts so much. She isn't even giving it a try. I know if we went to counseling and tried to do recovery totally different this time we could make it as a family again.

Thanks for asking about me BIN.

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ December 17, 2002, 12:57 AM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Cajunky,

Let me apologize to you for closing your thread. Your thread and the topic was not the problem. I am happy to see you continue your discussion here.

Magnolia <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No problem MBMagnolia you were just doing your job.

Love in Christ
cajunky

^

cajunky,

I know I'm not BINthereDUNthat, but I have a question for ya, and I hope you don't mind my asking.

As I understand it, you are a recovering sex addict (is that the right terminology?). I was wondering how you came to realize that you were addicted to sex? What lessons did you learn and how did you learn them? What things occurred in your life??

I realize that it may be personal for you to answer these questions, so I'll respect anything you don't want to reveal on a public forum...but I'd appreciate knowing the process you went through...mostly for my own interest and knowledge. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks!

CJ