Three years ago I had an A with this man. I ended the relationship by exposing it to my H. My H and I reconciled. I have had nothing to do with the OM since.<P>In August I was called to jury duty. The OM was there too. Since he was already selected for the jury, I lied to the judge to get out of serving when my turn was called.<P>Two days later, really weird stuff has been going on with the newspaper box infront of our home. (The OM was in the newspaper business.) Sometimes papers would be fully wrapped and left under my bedroom window. Sometimes papers would be scattered all over the my daughter's schoolbus stop next to the newspaper box. I got a call from a newspaper "telemarketer" and it scared me so badly that I went off screaming about sexual harrassment. It was so embarrassed afterward until the next day, there were no papers in the box. They stopped coming for about a week and now they're back. Irrattic, but back. <BR>I finally got up the courage to tell my H what I think has been going on and he was mad at me at first. But then he said just ignore it; it's all in my head.<BR>I'm at a loss here. I see this stuff everyday when I take my daughter to the busstop. I want the irrattic behavior of the papers to stop so I can feel that the OM isn't coming around my home anymore. It creeps me out. What should I do?

Did he speak to you at the court house? If so, what did he say?<P>You can call and cancel delivery of your paper. See what happens then. <P>If it continues, you can mount a camera and see if you can catch him.<P>just some ideas<P>cleo

I did not speak to the OM at the courthouse or anywhere else and we do not get the newspaper. The newspaper box is a coin operated machine that appeared infront of our home sometime in the past three years. I don't know the exact date it was put there, only that it wasn't in photographs of the area that were taken before then.<P>I don't talk to anyone from where I used to work. This man still works there. I know this because he said his place of employment in court.<P>I am trying to block this wierd stuff out of my mind. It is putting a strain on my marriage when things had been going so well for so long until the papers started acting strange

Also, what do I do if he is filling the newspaper box? That's part of his job duties.<P>Three years ago after I first revealed the A. Newspapers were dropped on our sharred front patio. We asked our neighbors if they were getting the paper and they said they were not. My H assumed it was the OM that was doing this and called the OM's W and told her what had been going on. The papers stopped after that. <P>I think the OM hates me for exposing the A to his W and my H. I think this is his way of getting back at me.

Dear Housewife,<P>The OM is either stalking or harassing you! And your family. Definitely time for a nighttime spy. If you can catch him visually that might be enough to add to this history of behavior to get a civil harassment restraining order on him. <P>If the court won't give you that one, then come "out" and get a domestic restraining order for stalking. You still need a witness. Maybe have your husband talk to the OM by telephone and just ask if he knows about the activity. OM just might admit it and cease.<P>The downside is that a Domestic Violence prevention order would require revealing the old affair in the public record, but you could also ask for the court records to be sealed and it would only be minimally exposed. <P>Most places offer free legal help for victims of domestic violence. Call the local county bar association and ask what resources are available to you. At least get a decent consultation. I'd hate to hear that his stalking escalated to anything that would put you, your daughter or husband at risk!<P>Good luck, and let us know how this turns out.<P>Karenna<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Housewife,<P>I was gone for the weekend. How have the last few days been around your place?<P>Karenna's advice is very sound. It wouldnt hurt to try the surveillance.