My XH is to pick up the kids in 45 mins because he wanted to take them to some Santa Breakfast thing tomorrow.

My boyfriend calls on his way over, says the roads are treacherous, in a 5 mile stretch there are three cars in the ditch, and there is snow covered ice, better call XH and tell him to get the kids in the morning.

So I call XH. He gets pissed that I am 'backing out of the deal' to let him get them tonight, that he's a good driver, that he'd have to get them at 5:00 am if he came in the morning (when the h*** is breakfast, 6:00??) and was SH*TTY.

So how much trouble am I in if I don't let the kids go with him, if he gets here in one piece I mean? This isn't court-ordered parenting time, this is something during MY time that I said he could pick the kids up for.

<small>[ December 21, 2002, 07:27 AM: Message edited by: ex-Princess Buttercup ]</small>

As much as it hurts, I think that you might have to go with him on this one. I know how you might feel, but if you set things like this up and then pull out on them, it will look like you are backing out of deals and being difficult to deal with. I understand what you are feeling. but you have to make sure that you would feel the same way about the situation if you were still married. I understand about the danger, everyday we go outside there is danger.

I don't know whether or not the weather is so bad. I understand what you are saying with three cars in the ditch, but where I live in the midwest, if it rains people go into the ditch, so this alone would not sway me in the least if I was going to pick up my boys.

I have no words of wisdom, and I wouldn't pretend to tell you what to do. But I think that if I were in your shoes, I would let them go and just ask him VERY nicely to please ba EXTRA careful. I doubt if he would want to put his children in any danger either. But if you turn this into a battle, then you will both loose, because he will not let it go, and will HAVE to get back at you in some instance in the future.

Just my bit of talking completely 'off the cuff.' I am from Colorado, and rarely let the weather keep me from anything, much less seeing my children.

Hope all works out well. I am here.

Things are pretty much smoothed out. My mistake was getting angry when he got angry. He did think I was trying to back out of the deal and was making more of the conditions than they were. I didn't phrase myself properly and he thought I was belittling his driving ability.

He called back about 20 minutes later and said he would take my word for it on the roads and hoped I wasn't playing games. I explained about the cars in the ditch (which I hadn't gotten in the first conversation) and 'made nice' by telling him it wasn't HIS driving I was worried about, there are a lot of people who *think* they can drive and they endanger other people. He then explained that the breakfast was out of town and that he'd have to get them early in the morning (not 5:00, but anyway) so he was going to skip it, and he's going to call back to set up another time with the kids.