hi. i am new here. here is my story.

my h and i were high school sweethearts. we dated 7 years and were married 7 years. in fall of 2001 we planned our pregnancy together. i got pregnant in december. it seemed like the more i started to show the stranger my h got. he was so distant. not into the pregnancy at all. would go out drinking all night and sometime not returning until the next morning. all i kept hearing was "i just can't wait until the baby gets here." we had our son in october 2001. in march of 2002. he decided that he was going tomove out. he said he was depressed and needed sometime to get his head screwed on straight. i excused him of cheating all of the time. he said he would never. he loves me blah blah blah. he told me that he was living with his friend brian. our son was 5 months old at the time. i was begging him for months to come back home and help with the baby. he was never around. i was raising my son on my own. ocassionally he would come over and visit. he was still telling me how much he loved me and we were still intimate. infact he wanted to have another baby! anyway, when june rolled around. i had enough! i hired a p.i. who caught his [censored]. he had been living with the pyschologist that he works with since march! she knew that we were married and knew about our new baby! they went on vacation together. he told me that he was going to coach little league playoffs with his friend rob in harrisburg. another lie! he went on vacation with her over 4th of july weekend. when he returned he filed for divorce.

i have been so hurt by all of this. if he was unhappy with the marriage i am really not sure why he wanted to have a child. i love my son more than anything. he is my pride and joy. this whole thing doesn't make any sense to me.

we never even discussed anything. he just filed for divorce. now he is "offically" living with the ow. they remodeled a room for my son in her house. the fact that they get to play family with my son makes me sick.

why oh why a 25 year old with a successful job would want my alcoholic scumbag of a h who is so far in debt it isn't even funny is beyond me!!! we have a child together. he has to pay me child support and spousal support. i am just wondering how long she will put up with his ****?

is anyone going through the same type of situation?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{mommy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Big hug for you. I dont know exactly the same thing you are going through but most of us here are experiencing the same amount of pain, just with different details.

My alcoholic H beat me 23 years ago while I was pregnant with oldest son. My mom and dad tried to talk to his parents and they hung up on them (my father was a minister). They said it was our business and we should work it out. They also said that if he hit me I probably did something to deserve it!!!!!!

Anyway, I should have left him then. 26 years after our marriage I am now going throuh D. 26 years of pain with much more to come. Maybe you should count your blessings that you are seeing him for what he really is. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi Mommy,

I'm sorry for you pain. I know this is hard for you.

As much as I am in for making M work, on this one, I have to say, if he is an alcoholic, you are probably better off in the long run. (okay, you can flame me now). I spent 8 horrible years with an alcoholic. We were not married, the first 4 years he hid his alcoholism, then we got engaged, and it started to come out. Within a year I decided to end the engagement. I spent the next 3 years trying to get rid of him. He tried kill me once.

You don't need your child growing up around that. Can you limit his visitation, one because your baby is so young and two, because of his drinking?

They are in some sort of dillusion about being some sort of "happy" family.

Mommy --

Welcome to MB. I'm so sorry for these problems in your life. It's a good thing that you're here with us now; you're not alone in this.

I have not been in your situation but I certainly can feel your pain and anger and frustration. I also can feel how much love you have for your son. Maybe the one good thing that will come out of all of these problems is your little boy, and that is immensely significant. Without this particular man in the picture, your son wouldn't be here. The "silver lining" to these black clouds is your son.

I agree with Sue: find a sensitive and knowledgable attorney and go for sole custody with very limited and supervised visitation for H.

Btw, you made a brief reference to Harrisburg. Are you a fellow Pennsylvanian? If so, we're neighbors (of sorts).

I hear your bewilderment and I feel so badly for you. I'm very sorry you are going through it. Focus on you and your son, protect both of you, remember we're here for you. Please post again, even if it's just to check-in with us. You have to hang in there, for son and for you. We do care...

Ammon

<small>[ December 23, 2002, 09:51 PM: Message edited by: Ammon ]</small>

I LIVE IN ERIE. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

Mommy --

How are you doing? Still hanging in there, I hope.

I live in Berks County, between Reading and Allentown. Lots of trees and cows. Spent some days last summer in Erie, on the campus of Mercyhurst College (nice place).

Don't forget that we're here for you. Post anytime you'd like and as often as you'd like. Take care of yourself and your son...

Ammon