STBX dropped off paperwork (summons, affidavit of plaintiff,etc.) this afternoon.

I've worked thru all the emotions of filing these doc's and know it's just a matter of time before it becomes official. When she dropped them off I called her to see if she would change her name back to surname? She agreed.
Is that wrong of me to ask? I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling, but I believe I want to sever my tie with her as absolute as possible. It's not because she has made the decision to dv, rather it's because I look back and in my heart of hearts feel we should have remained friends and friends alone. Now that that is lost, as well, I would like for her and I to return to our lost identities. Does that make sense, at all?

I realize this may not be Christ like, but I know I have hurt her so much and have caused myself to lose me enough to wander in the wilderness for far too long...I am finally recapturing my sense of humor, my love, my kindness, my everything that I once was (Praise be to God!). the least I owe it to both of us is to restore what we once were!

Am I being selfish, have others gone thru a similar situation?

In Christ's Name!
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<small>[ December 24, 2002, 08:19 AM: Message edited by: catch22222 ]</small>

catch....sorry to hear the news. You are still in our prayers.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Catch, I don't think you are being unChristlike.

I think you are hurting but beginning to heal..and that is a very good thing!

Hope you get through the holidays smoothly...take care.

caj, freshstart-

It's refreshing to see that my healing is coming through <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

With every passing day I feel such a strength coming from opening my heart to the Lord and "allowing" him to do HIS work through me! I have such a peace and understanding of my purpose today, that tomorrow can only be better!

Thank you for the prayers and well wishes!

God's blessing's to you both and your families!

In Christ's Name!
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Catch, Merry Christmas.

Bumping your post in case others who have been through similar situations might notice your thread.

Good to hear you being strong. I imagine you will have lots of ups and downs but thank goodness for your faith that will keep you level either way.

TY, Freshstart-
Unfortunately, I haven't seen any responses. I'm the only onegoing thru this situation <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> !

God Bless YOU!
In Christ's Name!
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Hey Catch22 How come I was thinking you and W were attempting to work out your marriage...did I misread somewhere? Thought you were attempting a reconcilation.
f4us
praying for you

I was thrown by that too. I thought you were attempting to reconcile. If I remember right your wife posted something that was an encouraging statement to you.

Your not giving up are you? Don't give up.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Hey Guys-

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON MY MARRIAGE (CAPS: for excitement, not yelling!).

I have been on and off here the past few days as the holiday season and working on 2 papers for school have kept me busy, I guess I'VE missed something...f4us, caj tell me where you've seen something...I'm getting very excited...I'll continue searching, in the mean time if you could direct me, that would be great! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I pray everyday for the Lord's will to be done in my life to include, if it is his will, restoration of my M.
Initially, she asked for NC as emotions were running high...she then called this past Sun. and left message about exhanging gifts...I was confused as I listened (she didn't say anything about restoration, recovery, etc. or even that NC was lifted). I called back telling her that her NC was good idea as I know her anger and bitterness are at a an all time high!

Anyway, that's where I thought we were...if you both another path by which I can see her beautiful words, please advise! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Is this true!? Do YOU, really desire to begin anew!?

In Christ's Name!
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<small>[ January 01, 2003, 08:02 PM: Message edited by: catch22222 ]</small>

Catch...I found it. She said keep working it because you are worth it. To me that says she still thinks you are worth something and hope is not lost.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=007911

I remember when I read it the first time I sensed someone who still cared.

Just let us know.

Love in Christ
Cajunky

cajunky.....you guys are dv'ed and you are hoping for a reconcilation. right? Does your wife live close by? Is it a realistic possibility or would it be a miracle from God...in your opinion....and yes I know God works miracles daily. I know in my life he certainly has worked what I believe to be miracles....I can also remember during the time I was trying to "save my marriage" that I put everything I had into that effort...tried to correct all the things I felt I wasnt doing for my H.....really made lots of personal changes to be what I thought he needed, wanted only to be rejected time and time again...He would not have any physical contact with me at all....we had no physical relatonship during that year....If I tried to get close to him...he would leave the room...wasnt even sleeping with me...would sleep in our guest room...did that for almost two years before he left...It was awful to be so totally rejected by the father of your children and at that time, our youngest son was just barely a year old....I read on someones post...an older one, months ago that their MC had told them something that really put it all in perspetive for them.... that in the end, it all boils down to the fact that something was missing in the marriage for WS and WS felt compelled to find it somewhere else. regardless how hard BS tried and what changes BS makes unless WS thinks you are starting to meet their needs...its all for nothing....that there is nothing that BS could have done differently in this situation. I really believe this...I think this is what we call the "fog"...but so many WS never come out of the fog....they really think they have found what they were looking for...for my stbxH...he is living with his OW.....I still dont "get it" and never will but I am choosing not to grieve forever...I am working through it and trying my verry best to let it go...just simply let it go...trust God and move on....a side note...what I was going to say earlier in the post was I will never forget the morning I got up early to pray...something I love to do....start my day off with Jesus and God...before I get sucked into the activities of the day...and I will never forget the morning God lifted the burden of my marriage off my heart....when he told me, Dianne, its ok, let him go....I cried so hard...I didnt want to divorce him, I wanted my marriage and then I knew that it was ok ...that I had done my best and I needed to let him go....he wasnt coming back emotionally for me....he would never be my husband again.....he had been gone/moved out a month or so...told me he needed space away from me....we have a huge home...lots of room he could get away from me easily...had already left our bedroom....we could have given him the whole bottom floor of our home...it's a complete living quarters down there but he had to move out into a verry nice 2 bedroom apartment and of course you know what that was about.....OW was there 2nd or 3rd night he was there....just more room for them to have their meetings....anyway.....and where am I now.....waiting on divorce to be final, H living with OW in new home filled with all the new toys....they have two brand new vehicles..on and on....while me and the boys prepare to sell our home because I cant afford it...and they are being uprooted while Dad is being him...Ha Ha...He once told me that he had to leave because he "Just wanted to be me" I have never understood what he meant by that....just want to be me....anyway, that's another story sometime.......Thanks for listening f4us

caj-

Thanks for the link...you may appreciate this as much as I do...she was quoting the "worth it" rally recited at the end of group (AA, SLAA and such) sessions. Although to re-read it in the context you suggest, points to hope and promise.

Let's see what takes place, I'm working with God thru relationship with his son, my savior Jesus Christ everyday...if I discern a strong sense form the Holy Spirit that I should contact, then i will. I will be bold, brave and loving in my pursuit of my W!

Thanks, brother!

In Christ's Name!
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