The W came over today to pick up the seperation agreement...And she had the audacity to tell me
that this is both our fault!!!!!!!!

I mean sure we had problems from the
both of us...but I still wanted to work on them! She didn't, that's not my fault....

I can't sit here and take the blame for this failure..I didn't want this! I wanted for us to have fun and be happy together...
we could of tried harder....how could she expect me to be happy when she cut herself off from me emotionaly and phyisically for the last year...?!
I think I tried pretty damn hard under the circumstances..!

I mean, why would she think she had to tell me this? Did she think I was going to say, hey, you're right, call ya for coffee sometime!
She want's us to be like old buddies together, sure, easy for you when you have no feelings left.
I can't pretend nothing happened...I can't pretend that you wanted to leave.. and that you told me you haven't loved me for the last 6 months...
I gave her everything..went into debt for her horse lifestyle...moved out of the city and commuted an hour and fifteen minutes each way each day for her.. I rarely saw anyone I worked with or knew in the city...
bought a house together...gave her whatever I could...was nice to her family and friends...
what the hell....ARRRGGGGHHGHHHHHHHHHHH...
I cant' take this.......

Sorry everyone...I needed to vent.

Married 4years.
lived with 3 years.
no kids.but pets that she took.God I miss my dog..

Merry Christmas everyone!

Guy --

Vent away! Better here than to your W. Besides, at least we'll validate you and your position...

I got the same stuff from my W. "Let's be friends." "It's both our faults." "I haven't loved you for X months." = scripted nonsense. While I don't know your situation, I do know how often I read the exact same garbage time after time here on this board.

Keep in mind something you said: "I still wanted to work on them [the problems]! She didn't, that's not my fault..." Gain strength and sustenance from your own words. She could have chosen to stay and fix things and she didn't. Sometimes even the very best we can give, the very best we are, isn't enough and can't do the job. All we can do is to make certain that we've done our very best and that we can hold our heads up high. That's all we can do and all that can be asked of us.

I'm sorry for these problems in your life. I see you're a relative newcomer and you probably know already the kind and sensitive and wise support and counsel available here. Post again and rant and rage to your heart's content. We'll sit with you anytime you'd like...

Btw, I miss my dogs too!

Ammon

<small>[ December 23, 2002, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: Ammon ]</small>

I can tell you it's nearly impossible to forget your wife has slept with another msn (if she had). Its been 4 months since we decided to work it out, my wife came back to me emediatly after i found out about her 2 week affair. I think it would have been easier for me to have divorced her. If your a manly type guy like me its imposible(so far) to forget.

I wanted her back 2 days after i found out, i think i was in shock or somthing. It seemed so easy to forget what she did, it isnt and it would have killed you if you had tryed.

Bog,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If your a manly type guy like me its imposible(so far) to forget. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">manly has nothing to do with forgiveness. . . manly is a rigid stereotype, and rigidity is something that never gets one very far in this random and uncertain life.

its what you, as an individual, want to accept and what you don't, its what goal you choose to pursue, and what you don't. . .

it has nothing to do with being a manly man. why don't you do some research on personality types to discover what personality type you are, and how you look at life verus how others do. . . that my friend, is far more universal and well researched than gender bending. . .

wiftty

Unhappy guy,

she sounds like a manipulator, a selfish person who has very little feelings for someone that doesn't fit her feelings du jour.

i suggest to let her go, and start to work on yourself, to figure out what part you contributed in relating to her, not to what you gave materially, or what you did financially. . . its seldom about that. . ..

time to udnerstand exactly who you are and what you want out of life. . .

wiftty