I can't believe it. I was trying to get him ready for his bath and he squirmed away from me and before I could get to him, he fell off the side of the bed and onto the carpeted floor. My stbx was screaming at me as well as the baby and told me to stay away from him. The baby stopped crying but my stbx said that I was irresponsible and said "and you want custody". I don't know what to do now. I feel horrible for what happened but the baby is alright. No bumps or bruises. I know that he will use this against me in our custody battle.

I am not a bad mother and watch my 16 month old son constantly but he's a toddler and is very active. I learned a very good lesson today and I thank God that the baby was not hurt but what can I do about my stbx?

He's 16 months and this is the first time this has happened? You're lucky ... babies are squirmy little things. Mine were anyway.

Don't let your STBX get to you. You'd be mortified to hear of some of the things that happened to my kids before they were each 2 years old, and they turned out fine. ;}

Thanks ex-Princess!

Btw, I'm a huge fan of "THE PRINCESS BRIDE" too!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

this is the first of many bumps! My gs runs around with knots on his noggin all the time! Good thing they're so hard headed!

It's okay, take a deep breath and think 'bite me' to your stbx!

This is unfortunate, but in all reality it is a non-issue. Don't let him make it into something that it is not. Children gets bumps and bruises because of all sorts of incidents. Think about what you would do and feel if custody was not an issue. You would be sad that it happened, but you would also look at it as really nothing but an accident and start changing him on the floor or something.

Your ex will try to get things from you now that he feels that he 'has something on you'. Don't let him. This is nothing, and no person other than your husband will see it as such. And he will not really see it as anything more than an opportunity to manipulate you.

Look him straight in the eye and tell him,"I am terribly sorry that this happened to our son. I love him dearly and would never hurt him, and in fact you know in your heart that I do everything that I can to protect him. I KNOW that you feel the same way, and would never knowingly hurt our son either. Unfortunate things will occur throughout his life. In a whole family or divorced. But we both love him. I know you do, and you know I do."

Something calmly stated, without tears or anger will completely disarm him and diffuse the situation. If you allow him to make a big deal out of it, he will. Think of what he has already done, just by saying what he has. You are terrified that you will loose custody over this. I am sorry to say that I believe that it is ridiculous. Even I, with my wife, know that she loves my boys, and it would have to be blatant disregard and possibility for severe bodily injury, before I would ever think that my boys aren't safe with her.

You will need to not cry when you talk to him. You will need to not get angry or resentful, not feel threatened or disturbed. Think of the situation if you weren't getting divorced. He may have even been angry, but this would not be an issue. Don't let him make it into one. And don't make it into one yourself.

<small>[ February 03, 2003, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: Sauron ]</small>

I totally agree with everyone here. Obviously your stbx's fog extends to parenting, too. Toddlers are naturally squirmy and inquisitive; falls and accidents are part of their life. My daughter fell of the bed when she was about 9 months old, onto a wooden floor. I was probably more traumatized about it than she was! Today she is a happily married teacher, so no lasting effects. Don't let your stbx's comments worry you, there is no cause. Any counselor or judge would say the same.

S

<small>[ March 20, 2003, 01:45 PM: Message edited by: broken heart and arm ]</small>

Hi Baby,

I cannot add much to what has already been said. You STBX is looking for anything, and I mean anything to use against you. One incident is not enough. This is just the beginning of of the bumps and bruises a toddler will sustain. BTW, if he tries to claim abuse, a good pediatrician knows the difference between normal toddler bruises and abuse bruising.

If you knew all that happened in the last nine years between my three children during the time of their birth to now, it would cause your hair to curl. I mean even at the age of infancy. Lets say, I'm sitting their nursing, and I fall asleep because it is 3AM and I have to get up at 5 AM, dont' get to sleep until 11pm and midnight, 7 days a week. (holding babies also have a lullabye affect on me). I learned to place my feet up on the ottoman and pillows on the floor to cushion the fall. (yes, it has happened. I would usually wake up as I felt the baby rolling out of my arms. Most of the time I reacted quick enough and pulled the baby close to me. There was a couple of times I was not so quick. Reason for pillows on floor beneath my legs.)

Baby, for you I cannot wait until this is over with. Remember, your STBX has done nothing but put you down, undermine all your efforts to be a good mother and try to undermine you efforts to build some self-confidence. Just another tactic of many he will try to use on you. I hope you document.

I hate to say this, he sounds like my BIL who no one likes. We have decided when my sister gets tired of his belittling mentality we will help pay for the divorce attorney. (OMG, did I say that)

Don't worry honey, your son will be fine. My 18 months old fell of the bed last week as well. It was heart wrenching, to make matters worst, he fell on top of a book, which resulted in a nasty bruise. A few minutes later he was laughing and running around and I was still upset. I was also worried that other people might think I did something to him, with all the cases involving child abuse now days.

Baby you stbex is abusive. How dare he tell you to stay away from the baby when you went to comfort him. I would not have let him keep me away.

It is not likely you will lose custody for your child wiggling and squirming and falling off the bed.

If that were true, none of us would have custody.