I really don't know where to begin. I am 34, hubby is 39. I was diagnosed with MS in 1996. In 1999 we had a flood of horrendous tragedies occur starting with the death of my Mom from cancer, then I had cancer (cervical - hysterectomy, can't have kids) and then my husband had a stroke. All of these events occurred within six months of each other. Too much really for one couple to handle.<P>My husband has not worked since his stroke last September although he is doing alot better. His stroke was in the left side of his brain which affected his right side, but he has regained his ability to walk, has some movement in his right arm and his speech is improved.<P>You might think with all that has happened to us that the worst would be over. Unfortunately it is not. I recently found out (after putting a tap on our phone) that he had a hooker come over our house when I was at work. I put the tap on the phone because I thought he was making 900 number sex calls. Pornography has always been a problem in our marriage. First it was just magazines and videos, then the sex calls and now a hooker. He also sold me out to one of his friends. He showed him naked pictures of me and told him to go ahead and f@@k her. He wanted to have a threesome. Unfortunately I had an attraction to this friend and did indeed do the deed (but no threesome). I know this was wrong but it wasn't like I was going behind his back.<P>Hubby is also an alcoholic (on top of everything else). I am beside myself (and feel very alone) on what to do. My brain says to leave that enough is enough, but my heart still loves him even after all he has done. We have been married for 9 years and dated for five beforehand.<P>Any advice on what to do would be appreciated.<P>Respectfully,<P>I wish I had a normal life

Riff—<P>Sending waves of well wishes your way. What a lot going on in your life!<P>I’d suggest copying your post over to the Emotional Needs section, you’ll get more responses that way.<P>Is marriage counseling an option financially or insurance-wise? If not, read everything you can at this site. Keep posting. This is a great place for advice and just venting; it does help! Will he attend AA meetings with you or “dry out” in a monitored program?<P>You state you still love him. I believe there is still hope BECAUSE you love him. And while you have any spark left to keep trying, you should do exactly that. <P>What aspect of your relationship would you like to work on first? It would be helpful if both of you fill out the EN questionnaire.<P>Tell us what else you’re thinking.<P>Laura<BR>