OK, now my H is asking that I turn over all the bills I have to him so that he can pay them (which he has never done during the duration of our 14 year marriage) and he will give me the $300 I asked for for groceries and the extra money for the girls ballet. But what about the other stuff, like if the plumbing backs up I have to deal with this on my own now, what about the things in life that come up?? How do I figure out what to ask for and do I have to turn over the bills, he hasn't even filed the paper work yet! Although I could be served tomorrow I guess??? Help I don't know what to do, I will call my lawyer in the morning but wanted anyone's past experience to consider first.

Here's what you do....
1) visit Divorce Source website or Divorce Info Website These will give you basic info about laws in your specific state. It will also be great background info to have PRIOR to seeing a lawyer. The less time you have to spend in the lawyer's office, the less money it will cost you.

2) Contact a lawyer to protect your rights. You don't have to initiate anything, just consult one. Sounds like you're already planning on doing this.

3) If you give your H ANY bills, prior to a legal separation agreement, make copies of them . This way you will know the account number, amount due, due date, etc... you can follow up behind him and call the company to make sure the bill was paid on time. If it wasn't then you will have another decision to make at that point.

4) I don't know your story, but if you have household expenses like plumbing, etc... that should also be taken care of in a separation agreement. It's not just about your joint assets, it also has to do with running a household, and in your case, child support. Your lawyer can advise you.

I haven't had a problem with my WH paying his share of the bills. We worked it out in an agonizing conversation determining who made more, and what percentage of bills were his, etc... He's been very good about paying and has never balked at unexpected expenses (like ice storm damage, etc.). I know I may be in the minority in this case. So watch out for yourself, and keep records of EVERYTHING.

my H said the same thing and I told my H that I wanted to keep things the way they were for now. H left me a note on the bed nite he left and said "dont worry, money will continue as usual"

I said, for now things are going to continue "as usual" Im not going to have you pick and choose what you want to pay. I know that he would pay credit card first and let them turn off electric if he didnt have enough money to take GF out on the town.

So, then he asked me again about month later and asked for a budget. I said we were married for 26 years, you know what our budget is, it takes everything you make to pay the bills, so he said he still wanted me to write him a budget and give it to him. I told him, my lawyer was working on the budget. Last time he left message on phone to that effect, I didnt even respond.

But I have already filed so check with your lawyer. I dont know your situation. Good luck.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hurtingandforgiving:
<strong>OK, now my H is asking that I turn over all the bills I have to him so that he can pay them (which he has never done during the duration of our 14 year marriage)

Seems like his is getting ready to file. He has to find out what your monthly expenses are. My ex-stopped paying the bills when I became a stay at home mom. So I had everything. I filled out my own monthly expenses, all of the things he would have totally over looked for his benifit.[B/]

How do I figure out what to ask for and do I have to turn over the bills, he hasn't even filed the paper work yet! Although I could be served tomorrow I guess??? Help I don't know what to do, I will call my lawyer in the morning but wanted anyone's past experience to consider first.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">[B]make sure you have our counter claim in. Met WH 4/83
Married 8/88
Seperated 11/00
d day 3/22/01
Divorce 5/02
beautiful children 2 girls 5/8
1 boy 11 next month

As someone said, make copies of everything. You'll need it for the client information statement (CIS). You may also want to consider changing your address or getting a post office box to make sure you have control over the bills.
He may begin to incur charges, or take out cash advances which would be considered joint debt, until the date of filing.

This is a control issue, and make sure you know what is going on. Good luck.