Hi Alsia
I had noticed that you had posted another thread earlier this week.....just wondering how you got to MBer's.....what's your story if you dont mind sharing with us....Mainly just wanted to let you know you are welcomed......and let you know that someone noticed that you are out there......

Thank you for caring Faith4us. I dont mind sharing. I have been married for almost 10 yrs. I am looking to file for a divorce soon. the breaking point came when I started to notice the ill effects all our arguing & lack of stability has been affecting my kids 6 and 3 plus I have started to develop stress related illnesses. I initially found out my husband was cheating back when I was pregnant with my 3 yr old we had recently moved to a new state where I have no family support. His family at the time were very supportive of him and his imoral behavior by covering for him and actually trying to set him up with some girl that they knew ...I found this all out with a tel. recorder! After the birth of my son my H decided that he wanted to work on the marriage & claimed that he had stop seeing the ow . Which now I know it has been a lie. My h is a very good lier and it seems to come naturally to him he shows no remorse only when he gets caught and the he plays the role of the prodigal son until he thinks that I am off guard ...we went to MB seminar in 2000. He never read any of the books and never agreed to sign the policy of joint agreement and he has never totally come clean with the affair he only tells me stuff I alrdy know. I even helped him put together a resume and coached him on what to say on the interview so that he could get a job in another dept, which he claimed would keep him from being around the ow. later I found out that she is a team leader in that dept! >o(. Even when I was doing everthing that he put dwn as an emotional need he still finds fault w/ something to justify why he had to go bck w/ ow.. so when he moved out I made no contact w/ him and for the first time in my married life I felt PEACE ..no walking on eggs shells, or telling the kids to be good so that daddy wont get angry,no running around like a chicken w/ its head cut off to make sure the hse was clean. So when he realized that we were happy w/o him he moved back. Now I am worn out emotionally, physically ..I know that I will do better w/o him and so with the kids. I just know I have to be strong to go thru the divorce b/c I know its going to get ugly..especially since his family are a shady crowd.

Glad you saw my post and responded. I just wanted you to know that someone noticed you were here. wow...our stories....the fact that his started when your youngest was just born or while you were expecting is close to mine...I am suspect that my H started his EA while I was preganant with our 3rd son now 3 1/2 and of course it continued and turned into PA I think sometime in 2000 and then never stopped. He now lives with OW and our divorce is in process. He has been moved out of our home since Oct. 2001. Today is his 40th birthday. His family never openly supported him but his parents by not saying anything in my opinion is a way of support....I would have to counsel my child if they were making bad choices, life choices that would negatively impact thier children and themselves...I would have to say something not just sit back and not do anything...but you know the sad truth...it's just like anything else....people just look the other way lots of the time...just disconnect from it to keep from making waves or something....I dont know but that hurt me....several times I would ask his Mom ...well have you spoke to him about it and she would say no...after a couple of times ...I realized they werent going to do anything just sit back and see what happens.....I just couldnt do that to my child if one of my boys was doing something so distructive......anyway, welcome here and keep us up to date on what's going on and hopefully we can offer you some advice and of course keep sharing your feelings, thoughts with us...we all need each other when we are faced with such things in our lives....hang on....you are just starting the ride.....your husband by chance isnt in the car manufacturing business is he? you mentioned the term "Team Leader" and that is what some jobs are where my H works, where OW works...she works directly for him....and they work in the car manufacturing business.....take care, hope to here from you soon
f4us