Not sure where to post this but wondering what I'm up for. Relationship has turned toward a seperation. W will be staying at the house we own with kids. We have agreed on a weekly $$ amount and all our household bills are paid. Once I leave what position do I put myself in? I know until legal route is taken Mortgage and anything jointly owned is both our responsibility. What about CCards that are in her name or ongoing utilities after I am out.
All is civil so far but at this point only because we havn't disagreed on anything.
Thanks for any advise

When you leave, you put yourself in a bad situation. Talk to a lawyer if you haven't already. The lawyer will help you determine an amount of support.
If you are really going, make certain to maintain contact with the children. This is important to avoid a charge of abandonment. You need to set a precendent now, and establish you parental rights. And document your time (including overnights) with the children. Get some books on divorce, or separation and get the help you need.
If it is possible to work things out, check out the other areas of the site, and work on your marriage - divorce is alot of work - and if either of you are unsure - try to work it out first. Don't ditch the marriage unnecessarily.
Good Luck. Head to a bookstore right away.

Thanks for the insight. Relationship with kids is good, spending time not a problem. Moving out is more for my own sanity. W has had a 1 night stand and pregnancy is involved. Had duplicate sinario 13 yrs ago but worked thru as paternatiy was a 50/50 shot. Have yet to confirm thru test but as child developed odds are in my favor. W and I have settled on a $ figure based on what the state requirement is. She is asking for no more although I offered. Also I will maintain insurance coverage for my kids and her until we go for the D. But she will need to figure out somthing for the baby.I know when it goes to the lawyers it will probably change $$ amounts as its what they say that matters. In her position I believe she realizes that she has not much to bargin based on the circumstances. We both agree at this point this one cant be fixed. I am leaving her and the kids with the house as I dont want to uproot the kids. We also own a bussiness that she runs and operates. For myself personally do not want to go thru the pain and heart berak I did last time. If I can walk away with some dignity and make sure my kids are taken care of thats all I ask.

hi Lost
I would suggest you visit these websites: Divorce Source and Divorce Info . They may answer some of your questions, since the laws differ from state to state. Also, it has been said that when young children are involved, it might be best to NOT move out until you have something legal drawn up. Many reasons for this - it may "look bad" if your W decided to get nasty about child support and/or custody of your two children. (It could be viewed as abandonment.) Your wife will go through as many emotions as you (probably more, if she's pregnant) and there is no telling how she might feel in a few months - she might not be as agreeable as she is now.

Usually credit cards or debts that are in only one spouse's name are the responsibility of only that spouse. Ongoing utilities could be part of the household expenses that you might have to share (whether you live there or not); it just depends on your state's laws.

I understand your wanting dignity and respect even though you have been put in a tough situation. I hope that will happen for you.

Continue to post here at MB (have you tried reading some of the "Pregnancy/Child" board?)...there are lots of resourceful people here willing to help with advice and support.

<small>[ January 01, 2003, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>