I recieved my papers on Dec. 17,02 and that night my husband came into town(he lives in another state) and was at my house. I stayed for 9 months before i moved trying to fix my marriage, i have tried so hard to let him know that i love him and i don't want a divorce. but he said there is nothing there anymore, if that is the case why call me 10 times a day and his reason is to talk to our daughter, if he wants to talk to her why talk to me for 30 minutes or longer. he was in town for thanksgiving and christmas and was at my house. we get along really good, we having been joking around with each other. So why get a divorce when i think we can work it out, and if he doesn't see that we can, how i am going to get over him and move on? we have been together for 11 years, married for 6 and separated for 5 months.

If you are still interested in trying to see if the marriage can be saved, then you may want to try Plan A.

But don't give up any of your rights or your child's rights if he still goes through with the divorce.

The best plan right now is probably for you to take care of yoruself - make sure you have a support system of family, friends, church and counselor. This is a difficult time for you, and you need all the help that you can get.

You H is confused and probably thinks that a divorce will make him happy, which probably won't, but you will not be able to change his mind by talking about it. You will need to show him by actions. Thus the Plan A.

Please read about it on this site and try not to worry if you can't figure H out - it just can't be done - by anyone - even he probably doesn't know what he's really feeling.

Take care of yourself. K

Thank you, i am just having a really hard time. My daughter tells me everynight that she is ready for us to go back home and live with daddy that she knows i love daddy and daddy loves me that he just has some problems to work out right now, and she is only 5. i am going to go look at the info on plan a and give it a try. thanks again. i will never give up hope that we will get back together.

Is the travel adding to the confusion? Is someone else adding to the confusion? Sounds like he is hot one day and cold the next.

He wants you hanging on but yet does not want to stop running from his feelings long enough to figure it out.

Are you both in counseling?
Is there any way to go...with the pretense that it will be best to divcorce as friends and learn the mistakes not to make in the future.

I feel bad asking these questions but I have been there....on the other side where your husband is now.

I am still married and working with a counselor now. Fortunately, my husband waited for my feelings to catch up with me and did'nt do anything drastic like file for divorce or leave.
Hang in there.

My prayers are with you.