Well, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. For those who don't know my story, H left on 11/12/02 and said he is done with our marriage and that was that, he refused to give me any expanations and everytime I tried to call or meet him he told me to go home and called me a stalking psyco.....So I was advised to stop all contact with him and I did.....

After weeks of him not wanting to talk this over I decided that I was done and filed for divorce on 12/10/02. He didn't understand after only 1 month why I did this. I tried to explain that he has done so much damage that I didn't think I could forgive him.

Well, 1 week before christmas he went to see a friend in another state. He came back begging to see me, and that he was wrong, and he took me for granted and he now realizes this. He has called me multiple times each day, crying, unitil all hours of the night begging for us to work things out. He convinced me to go out with him Thursday after Christmas. He took me to a very nice restarant, and we had a great time, a very nice time, we then went to a piano bar for the rest of the night. We had alot to drink as well. He sat there the whole time trying to hold my hand, telling me how excited he was that it felt like a first date and how beautiful I was. He was doing every thing right. At one point he started crying wow... I have never seen this man cry in all 11+years or shown any emotion what so ever. We ended the night in good terms, I even kissed him, could have been the wine, or not he even stayed at my house pretty late, we just kissed and snuggled...it was great, but I was totally confused. The next morning I was taking a bath,,, and he came over with some coffee for me and rubbed my back while in the tub... it felt good...again I am torn. I decided that I did not want to spend new years with him...I don't know why??I told him that he has hurt me so bad and one good night is not going to make up for it.

I am trying to figure out if I am still in Love with him or just love the Idea of still being in love with him. I don't know....We talk every day, had lunch with him today.. and he is coming over for dinner... he lives 1 hour over the mountain pass and we are trading vehichles, I have the 4wd.

Tonight he called and wanted to buy me a car because my suv is to expensive for me to be driving around, 40 to fill the tank...uggg...he also said he got some paperwork from my attourney and was wondering if we were putting the D on hold...I told him I could not answer him about that...I am so confused right now.....

Help//
Christine

Seems like everytime I post I never get any responses???? I guess I am out of the circle of regulars eventhough I have been here on and off for 2+ years.

Ok Foottolong - I really don't know much of your story but I wanted to reply because I know how much it really bites when no one replies.. I guess the question that comes to mind after reading this - Is what do you really want??? Have you two been in counseling??? Did he have an affair or is there really a chance to fix the wrongs??? I mean I would say what he has been doing lately sounds wonderful and it sounds very promising but then again like I said I don't know what has been going on..... I guess maybe you need to decide if you love him and want to try to make it work -.... I will try to help more if I find out more of the story... Hope other people respond.......

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:45 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

fooltoolong-

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I'd encourage you to seriously consider R with him if he's sincere about making some changes. I would give ANYTHING to have my FWW (D final 12/11/02) come back and ask for another chance. There were obviously lots of things that attracted you to him in the first place and you also have 2 kids together? To me it's a no brainer, as long as there aren't abuse issues that factor into the situation.

To me, you've got a great opportunity to work on creating a better M than you ever imagined. If both of you are willing to take a honest look at yourselves, anything is possible. Don't let this opportunity slip past because something "better" is not a sure thing. Good luck and God Bless!

-G

PS You guys had to meet at a Mountain Pass and exchange vehicles? Man, that sounds like fun! I went to Glacier National Park in Montana for my Honeymoon and fell in love with the Rockies. You're lucky!

<small>[ January 03, 2003, 01:51 PM: Message edited by: litchfield ]</small>

Hi Christine!

I'm no expert but it seems to me you have a golden opportunity right in front of you. That is, if you want it.

I sure wouldn't throw it away. Not if he's willing to reconcile and is sincere.

If my WW were to come home to me I would consider it a blessing!

I am 100% with litchfield on this one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Take it slow and easy.

Mike

Fooltoolong

I don't have any advice for you because I don't know what you've been going through the past two years. If I'm correct you did mention you've been here off and on for the past two years right? I don't have advice but just wanted to tell you how so many of us at the Just Found Out Forum would love a chance to fix our M like you have right in front of you.

Don't be to quick on the D papers. Please think about everything before you decide.

-Depressed

You mean to say in the month on November 2002 you were desperately trying to save your marriage when you husband took off and a month later you were done for good? I don't think thats the situation. Your plenty pissed off and rightfully so. What he pulled is at the least, disrespectful. Your only thirty years old. Give it a try, go to marriage counseling and get things out in the open about whats going on and what you both need, both want. You have nothing to lose by trying and your kids deserve more responsible parents. Give up now, you might regret it. Go to counseling and weather it works out or not, your effort will give you the ability to move on and demonstrate to your kids as much. Good luck.