April 28, 2001 my world came apart. X told me about MOW, left in May 01, A been going on for over yr. D-5-02. X admitted OW wasnt his only A. She was the only one that wanted him. They are engaged. Our D was nasty, X wanted me in jail, this cost him his police job & chief of police his job. God was with me, they never were served, the truth came out. felt sorry for myself, lost 20 lbs, then one day woke up & realized that my M wasnt all that for the last 17 1/2 yrs. H controlled me, everything in our M was for him. I cried for a person who didnt care for anyone but himself. After taking a long look at our M, found myself not missing him anymore. He distance himself from me & our son yrs ago. X wonders why his son doesnt want to be with him, they dont have the bond. Dad never tried to be part of his life. X only knows how to lie to get ahead. Strange its almost like we are not D & X is just at work. X would just come home, nap, eat alone in front of TV then go to bed. We are not used to him being around us, so nothing feels like it has changed. except the yelling, both me & son tried not to make him mad, we didnt want to hear the yelling. X is not talked about at our home, he has never called our son since he left 5-01. Son wrote dad, telling him not to ever contact him again. Son is upset about upcoming M to OW. I ask our son last night what would it take to have him speaking to dad again. His answers were, Dad leave OW, leave Al & come to Fl, tell the truth why he dumped his mom for OW. Son didnt say it but I think he wants dad home. I never felt dumped but I guess I was. We both know that X will never leave OW or come home. I could never take back a man who controlled me, left me when I was sick & needed 3 operations. Told me I was too old for him, Im 6 yrs older. Younger woman makes him feel younger, after seeing X a few months ago, he looks older & tired looking. I have a son who respects me, trust me, knows that he comes first in my life. Thats all I need for 2003. I wish X & OW the best, my life will go on. It will be better than before just the 2 of us.

m-17 1/2 yrs
c-13,29, 8 gd
d-5-02
me-48,43

ow-32
c-3 under 11
m-10yrs
d-7-02

My family - you sound like you are starting the new year on the right note... I wish you all the best living your new life.... We all deserve to be much happier than we were last year... People tell me well if you are alone for awhile - so what you will become stronger - your new man will be there when you are ready.... Someday - I am not sure that the WS will ever realize what they have lost - but you have your son - and you know that you have done nothing to be ashamed of - I hope you and your son find true happiness in 2003...

myfamily,

Sounds like you've got the right attitude.

My life seems to be similar as when we wer emarried except for I don't have to worry about all of his emotional abuse - actually it was more shallowness and emotional immaturity, but when you are pregnant with his first child and telling him that you hate him and that you want a divorce because he has absolutely no sympathy for his pregnant wife - well, I guess BID RED FLAGS should have gone up way back then.

Ex did not have much of a presence at home either and I find myseld much more happy and emotionally stable than I ever was with him gone.

Your son will yunderstand soon enough what happened and know that you were strong and kept the family together in spite of ex's selfishness.

Hopefully son will not make the same mistake and learn to love and appreciate women as he loves and appreciates you.

Hang in there.

We're going to make it and be stronger for it.

May God bless you and your son this new year! K