I'm hoping that someone can shed some light on what my h is trying to accomplish by moving into an apartment. I updated my profile so I won't post the past history. <P>H told me two weeks ago that he was going to move out again. He found an apartment, bought bedroom furniture and took his clothes three days ago. Our children went to see the apartment on Tuesday night and came home telling me how great it was..pool, pool table, shuffle board etc. Made me feel really good!!! Now dad is the fun parent and I'm boring old mom.<P>They went again last night. My younger son wanted me to go along. My h assumed I was going along. I told him that he had not invited me so I hadn't planned on it. I'm not going to assume I'm included in plans unless he invites me because he wants me to go not just because the kids want me to go. One day I'll assume I'm going when I'm not included and just get my feelings hurt. <P>He swears realtionship with ow is over and will not resume. I believe him 99% of the time. Why would he want me to see where he is living if she were a part of it. If I knew where he was living I could drive by to see if her car was there. I don't think he would risk that.<P>I'm trying really hard to stick with plan A. Plan B would be a huge lovebuster. <P>I'm trying to give him his space so he can think. I want him to realize that home and his family is where he wants to be because he wants to be here. <P>He says he hopes that he will come home in a few months. Hopes that this separation will uncover the feelings a husband should have for a wife. Right now he says they come and go. He wishes he was as good a husband as he is a father. <P>Anybody have any insight on where he is? This is so hard.

Hoping, you know where he is. He's on the fence. Moving out is not working on the marriage THAT I know for sure. <P>The rest of what I know is tainted by 3 out of 5 of our separations where he was seeing her and telling her he was divorcing while swearing to me there was no other woman in his life and he wanted his marriage and just needed "space". Space to date, he should have told me. I too was fairly sure he wasn't seeing her...your H can always meet her elsewhere.<P>Your H wants it both ways. He wants his family when he wants you and to be living like he's single. There isn't a whole lot you can do other than Plan A or B or divorce him.<P>Sorry.

I had to run, so let me finish up.<P>I hope I don't sound harsh, Hoping. But you and I have been on a very similar muddy path since our Jan 99 discovery. And as you have said, our H's are doing/saying a lot of the same stuff. I just want you to have your eyes open. I had gotten to the point of being so confused by my H's lies, need for "space" and his "love" for me that I thought I was going crazy. Every bit of it made sense when I added "her" in. So if what your H says doesn't make sense--there probably is a reason, it may not be the same reason as my H's.<P>Do take care.<P><BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hoping}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}