Hello all-

Just wanted to get some people's opinions on what might be good reading for someone looking to move on after Divorce. I'm still in love with my XWW but have recognized that she probably won't be coming back. I've felt broken since the A first came to light (10/22/01) and I need to put myself back together. Any suggestions?

bump

I'd suggest a good mystery novel, if you're into that sort of thing. My personal favorites are science fiction though. Heinlein, Asimov, Card, there are others.

I'm only somewhat joking. If you feel like some self-help books will do you good, sit down at Barnes & Noble for a while and page through some. There's one in particular that I really liked called "Shortcut Through Therapy" but I can't remember the author. I'll look when I get home and add it to this thread.

Most of the things that helped me weren't reading books. My biggest helps had to do with rekindling old interests - like reading sci-fi. And going for walks every evening. I bought myself a mountain bike, too! I've always wanted one so I got one for myself on my last birthday.

One other thing I'd like to add: Relax and enjoy yourself. Drink milk right out of the jug. Burp if you feel the need. Wipe your mouth on your sleeve. Leave your dirty underwear on the floor of the bathroom. Just stop worrying for a while, and find something rewarding to do with your hands and your mind. It'll feel good, I promise. After a while one day you'll realize that you had a good day instead of a bad day, and you'll smile to yourself. It'll get easier to have a good day. And before you know it, the good days will outnumber the bad days.

o2b,

Thank you!
I actually laughed today!
I really needed that!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Relax and enjoy yourself. Drink milk right out of the jug. Burp if you feel the need. Wipe your mouth on your sleeve. Leave your dirty underwear on the floor of the bathroom. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">D.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WillGetThruThis:
<strong>I actually laughed today!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Unfortunately, I often have that effect on people. Hopefully you weren't drinking from the jug as you were reading. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'd do a search on this forum with the key words books in the heading.

I know that others have asked in the past couple of years and received some good responses.

I would suggest Rebuilding by Dr. Bruce Fisher and _________ can't remember the name. I'm digging out my copy myself.

Other good ones are the ones by Melody BEattie - co-dependent no more etc. they just help you detangle yourself from living a married life with Ex spouse and get back to depending upon and living as a whole person with yourself.

Hope some of this helps.

K

Ok, I'm home now. The book I was referring to before is "Shortcut Through Therapy" and it's by Richard Carlson, the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" guy.

Another one I liked a lot was "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. Good stuff. He also has other books out that I'd like to read, but haven't yet.

I think Dr. Phil has some pretty good points at times, though I have the same problem with him as I do with Dr. Laura: They're too abrupt. It doesn't do anybody any good to listen for 17 seconds and interrupt them to tell them they're a jerk, even if it's true.

That's it for my self-help reading list. Thanks for listening!

I don't think I can recommend any "rebuilding" or relationship books. IMHO, you need to take your mind OFF what you're going through. With that in mind...

I'd like to second the nod for "The Road Less Traveled." I really enjoyed it...of course, I read it while on vacation in Hawaii, so...

If you read stuff like "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff," I'd recommend a book called "Second Thoughts" by Mort Crim. Its full of short, realistic positive messages.

You might need to laugh, so I'd suggest "Brain Droppings" by George Carlin, and "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. These are the sort of books you should avoid while drinking milk from the jug! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I've also found myself going back to science fiction, and I think I know why: There's almost never a sappy love story in a sci-fi novel!

For motivation, I've found Harvey Mackay ("Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive") to be indispensable. Tony Robbins' books are good, and much cheaper than the tapes!

And for inspiration, I recommend just about anything by Carl Sagan. "The Demon-Haunted World" is a pretty good introduction to Sagan, who had a rare gift for communicating the beauty and wonder of science.

Under no circumstances should you read ANYTHING by John Gray! His books are peppered with words to make any BS cringe...like the hated "soul-mate!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

A book called "When Your Lover is a Liar". Very good. Helps you recognize healthy relationships vs. destructive ones.

I like the Carlin one. I enjoyed reading "Napalm and Silly Putty." Made me giggle like a mad woman in the Barnes N Noble when I got it.

Like for a mental escape, "Where Is Joe Merchant" by Jimmy Buffett.

I LOVE LIFE STRATEGIES BY DR. PHIL. Not easy reading but helps you quit having a pity party.