Hi, I'm 26.. We've been married since july 99, We have 2 children girl 2 1/2 boy 3 months.. My issue is that i have absolutely no sexual interst.. the thought of it does'nt even cross my mind.. I thought it may be hormonal or something.. The problem is that it's killing my husband.. I cant' explain it it's not him .. It's not that i'd rather be with someone else in fact i could care less totally.. i try to i guess you'd say give in just to comply but while its going on i'm thinking to myself are you done yet? Whats wrong with me what can i do?? i don't want to lose him but i can't bring myself into being interested anymore.. well basically since i had the kids.. is this normal?? again i'm only 26.. please help<P>------------------<BR>TY ::: Dizz

Hi, Are you just worn out from taking care of such young children? When they're that young, you're just exhausted all the time. Are your nursing your son? If you are (excellent! He is deriving fantastic immunities from your breast milk, not to mention that breastfed babies read better than bottle fed babies according to some studies) - you may be "touched out" - oversaturated by touch.<P>Can you get some help with the kids? Not having sex can kill a marriage. (Ask me how I know.)<P>Your hormones after birth may not be up to par, can you get them checked by your OB/GYN? <P>You're smart to be concerned. Plus, it's refreshing to red a post where nobody is cheating. Good for you for being concerned about taking care of your marriage and your love life and your husband! Wish I'd been that smart.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Go see your doctor ASAP and tell her this is a big problem for you and your H. If there is nothing physically wrong, or depression, it is still a problem that needs to be addressed, because your marriage can easily die of this sort of issue. <P>The MB plan described on this site gives a couple a way to negotiate on meeting all ENs...maybe you can negotiate a frequency for actual intercourse, and for some manual or oral fill-ins. And maybe what you need is for him to give you more time for you (take the kids while you bubble vath and get ready for bed, for example), or more affection or simply time to rest a bit. If you work hard at identifying, understanding and meeting each other's needs, you will do fine, even if your needs and his are not the same...<P>But first, start with your doctor!<P><BR>