Well, 12-31-02 was one year from my D. I didn't even realize this until around 8:pm that night and I was able to just brush it aside. I didn't even give it a second thought! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Right after my xh walked out on me and my children it was very rough. Then I found out about the ow a month later and it was even worse. I immediately went into counseling after my xh walked out. At that time I felt like life was over and that I would never get through all of the pain and anger.

Today I am very happy and content with my life. I have had a year to reflect on me and to take care of myself. I actually LOVE being independent right now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I do not want my xh back in my life EVER and I have moved on.

My children are doing very well. There were a few problems last year but I stayed on top of them and helped them get through them. It helped so much just to know that it is normal for children to have adjustment problems. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.

What I am most proud of throughout the last year is that I have finally learned to stand my ground with my xh. We have had our arguments throughout the past year, mainly about what is best for the children, and I have stood firmly on my beliefs. I no longer tolerate his attempts to control me. I have finally broken that hold he has had on me for a VERY LONG time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Last year I finally was able to take to heart that no one deserves to be abused in any way, shape or form. I have become so very strong and I know that God has led me out of the DEEP valleys and the darkness I have been lost in for so long and I am enjoying life now.

For all of those still battling every day just to make it through, just know that no matter what you are going through, it does get better, time is the key and lots of prayers.

I started out 2003 with a bang and I KNOW that this will be a good year for me and my children! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hopeful in life,
Kathy

I can't believe I forgot to thank everyone on this board for all of your support throughout this past year! I won't be leaving the board because I know that there will still be some times when I will need support as well as others needing support.

I am on cloud nine! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Kathy

((((((((Hugs and Smiles))))))))))

Thank you. God bless you and your children.

Abandoned Mom - I just wanting to thank you for your positive post... I just got divorced in September and it will be totally official on January 17 and I just this weekend have been able to deal with it - and say ok you know what this is his loss - I didn't do anything wrong - and I will be ok and I will be happy again... Someday - Now just curious - but have you been dating anybody??? I mean I am not even thinking about that but someday I hope to but I am having a hard time imagining being with someonelse - Just curious ? Again thanks for giving me hope <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

maw64 - You WILL be happy again one day! No, I am not dating anyone presently. Last year I was asked out quite a few times but I turned them down nicely and explained I wasn't ready yet. I still am not ready yet. I feel good about myself but right now I really want to settle into the independent life. It feels so good to know that I can live my life by myself and survive and have only myself to answer to. Also, I married right out of highschool and never lived on my own. It is great. I am only 28 so I know I have a long life ahead of me and I refuse to rush anything. I have set my standards very high for a new man in my life and I refuse to settle for less! I believe 100% that God will guide that man into my life when He thinks I am ready.

It took a lot of baby steps to get where I am today but that made me all the more stronger.

Remember that each day will be a little brighter.

I am really glad that I could give you hope,
Kathy

AM,

Wow... what an awesome post! I'm happy to see what a difference a year can make. You should be very proud of yourself and your kids!

My WH moved out 5/6/02 (day before my birthday) at my request. It wasn't a trying time until the last month when we finally cut contact from one another. I'm being tested at the moment as all that CAN go wrong around the house IS going wrong and all at once. It's hard since I'm a procrastinator, but I'm doing it. I have been without hot water since Saturday and it's taken until last night to figure out who I need to call. Still not fixed but the calls are in.

Last Saturday I found myself on the roof shoveling snow and ice off as we sprung a leak in the ceiling. Never in my life did I think I'd wind up there. I had family to help, but I didn't allow them to do all the work. The winter here in NY has been horrendous with 2 Nor-easters in 1 week and freezing rain between them.

Soon it will be 1-year that I've had my own space... not sure exactly how I'll feel, but I'll let you know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks for sharing your joy and I wish you continued blessings!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

AM, thanks for your wonderful post. I've been separated a year now, and can relate to all you've written. I don't want him back, and I've grown so much this year, and believe that God brought the right people into my life to support me through this difficult time. I feel so much better about myself, my future, and my parenting skills than I did living with H.

I even had a formal dinner party Sat. night for 10 friends to celebrate the New Year, on my fine china. We all had a rough 2002, and believe that 2003 will be new beginnings. Most of these friends I would never have met without this crisis. (divorce support group and others).

I think the same is true for me. I have been divorced for 16 months, and can't in my mind, even imagine being married to my ex, or ever being married again.

I am so glad i went thru with this, and i too, am doing GREAT, along with my two boys. I look now at my ex, and think, what in the world did i see in him, and why did i put up with so much, so long.

I love my life now, i bought my own house, i like being alone, really not even near ready to think about dating. My focus is on my boys and our peaceful life (finally <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />