I'm curious about the experience of others on this board. I know everyone has different socio-economic backgrounds, but how much did you spend on your divorce?
I'm nowhere through the process and have spent $8,000 already, and I owe a $2,000 retainer to the psychologist for custody evaluation, and another $5,000 retainer to my lawyer, with no end in site.
Thanks for any feedback.

Newly: My divorce was uncontested. We agreed on the division of property and a separation agreement was prepared and signed and sent to the court with a final judgment. My attorney's fees were $3,500.00. I found out my XH's attorney's fees were $7,000.00. Of course, his attorney prepared most of the paperwork. It certainly is an expensive process.

Hi Newly!

I spent the following:

$5,200 on attorney fees for divorce
$800 on 1/2 of custody evaluation
$3,000 and counting on latest crap (contempt/visitation)

I think XW spent the following:

$15,000+ on attorney fees for divorce
$800 on 1/2 of custody evaluation
$3,000???? and counting defending contempt

If I had hired her lawyer for the divorce, my daughter would probably still be living in NJ.

Good Luck!

My lawyer just called yesterday and said we're divorced and to expect the papers in the mail.
If the lawyer didn't call, I wouldn't have even known I was divorced before I went home and checked the mail.
The Cost:
Only about 2.5 months and 1,200 dollars for an uncontested/no-child custody divorce here in MN.
My XW didn't have to pay a dime.
I wish it would have took a little longer. I was hoping WW would've come around from the dark side.
Oh well,
We could always get remarried. Maybe not in Vegas next time.

My divorce was completely uncontested, agreed on everything (although i could have got more child support if i pursued it)
We found an attorney together, and went to a few or called a few, some of the prices were ridiculous. Our's was fairly an easy divorce, all except for him having to buy me out on our house and pay me my portion, otherwise was fairly fast and easy. Our divorce was $750.00, that's it. We each paid half of it.

we are now in appeal court in Al. over military retirment. based on the court awarded him for his Adultery.

D-3500
Appeal-3500
We are asking the appeal court to make X pay some of my legal fees.

X

d-1700
appeal-not sure, he says his attorney gives him a discount being a X-cop. Its probaby around $2000

corba insurance for me, $500 month, something x didnt know he was going to have to pay for 18 months.

the biggest lost is our son doesnt want to see dad anymore. X lost his home, savings went to lawyers, wife who loved him, only child says he hates him & doesnt want to see him again.

m-17 1/2 yrs
c-13, 29, 8 gd
me-48, x-43
d-5-02

ow-32
m-10yrs
c-3 under 11
d-7-02

Ack!

I can't believe you're actually making us face the reality of the high cost of divorce.

Let's see:

$3000 for atty #1

$6500 for atty #2

$1500 for custody evaluation

$60 for my half of 1 mediation session.

and this doesn't even cover the custody trial

Ughhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

And all because Ex is a __________!

K

~$22,000 for the divorce...
...and xW's feinged custody battle.

I do have the children though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

$3,100 and rising for the 'nudism case'. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim/NSR

WOW, i can't believe the prices of these attorneys, guess i was pretty lucky everything was uncontested, and found a reasonable attorney

momof4kids ............

what did you do?
and how much was yours?

Thanks,

d/

WillGetThruThis,

momof4kids said in a previous post,
"Our divorce was $750.00, that's it. We each paid half of it."

Right now I'm not divorcing, the title caught my eye. OUCH!!!!!!.

GIIC - given all you've been through, I thought yours would be much higher than mine - that is, unless you drafted some documents yourself. I am not even divorced yet.
H is a conflict avoider and nothing is settled.

Catamount, you still haven't told me about the custody hearing on 1/2, and whether she plans to move to FL. Fill me in.

Newly,

Good thread! I too am beginning divorce proceedings. Hoping the cost will be in the lower ranges of what I see. We have agreed on everything, so chances are that we can get through this without losing our *****!

It is very clear that fighting spouses only benefit the lawyers pockets! There are so many that think "winning" is the important thing...until it is all over and they have very little to nothing left!! Statistically couples who drag each other through the courts have a high percentage of bankruptcy. It is beyond sad...

I don't feel that I'm dragging this through, my lawyer has said I'm being reasonable. But H can't deal with issues, and refuses to make any decisions on his own, without asking his atty, who then calls my atty. It's sick that he's demanding 50/50 custody of these children he ignored for so long. My lawyer even said that he's considering the children as "chattle" (property) rather than paying attention to their needs. This is just a bad week, on the expense front.

Do as much as you can without lawyers, or use a mediator on the difficult things. Compromise is not in H's vocabulary, so a mediator threw us out.

"Compromise is not in H's vocabulary, so a mediator threw us out."

Wow! That says it all doesn't it??!

My lawyer's retainer was $1500 and that should be enough, unless we go to trial. He attended the hearing for temporary support. The custody agreement is in place, without a fight or evaluations or attending the Sandcastles class our county uses (and charges for). The retainer agreement said all bets are off had there been a custody fight. I did all the work on the property distribution proposal, but we haven't heard back on that one yet.

No idea what my wife's fees have been. She fired the first attorney because he was too slow.

I spent more than $1500 on MB phone counseling. I've also spent money on counseling on anger management for oldest son, triggered by but not entirely related to our separation. That is probably several hundred by now.

I would say the legal and counseling fees have been a small part of the overall financial impact of divorce, which is going to be huge. Maybe I would feel differently if we had a custody fight, or trial expenses. But even then, you have to weigh the fees against the costs (and other impacts) of losing or giving in.

- Tom

Well, for my divorce, which should have been extremely straightforward, since there were no kids involved, and very few assets (none of which were under dispute), I ended up with legal fees around $20,000. Last I heard, my (ex-)wife's legal fees were around $24,000 - or at least that's what her attorney claimed when he told the magistrate that his client couldn't and hadn't paid him one cent, and that he needed me to pay his fees. (Don't ask me how his fees got so high, since I couldn't see that he did much of anything except to stall and lie and bluster. He certainly didn't produce any of the financial records that he was supposed to provide, or write up a settlement agreement - despite his repeated assertion that his client wanted to settle - or respond to the settlement proposals that my lawyers submitted.)

Incredibly, these legal fees were racked up without even having a trial! (Or, to be more precise, when after more than two years we finally got a trial started, it deteriorated immediately into a circus, with the result that the magistrate essentially refused to try the case and forced us to settle. Not that I objected to settling, but I refused to agree to a settlement I didn't believe I had the financial wherewithal to fulfill.)

This is what happens when your spouse refuses to communicate, when she has her head buried so far into the sand that she allows her lawyer to do (or not do) whatever he wants, and when the court system doesn't bother to abide by its own rules or require attorneys to do so.

For what it's worth, I figure my divorce cost me at least $50,000 more than it would have cost if we had settled at the outset for what the court would most likely have awarded. And while a considerable portion of that is excessive spousal support, my wife will get nothing more than she would have otherwise gotten, since the excess all goes to her lawyer.

I believe it will take me most of a decade to pay off my legal debt. And considering what could have happened, I reckon I got off easy...

Tmmx, I'd have gladly spent $1,500 on MB counseling. H refused to attend an MB seminar. My first retainer was $1,500, I'm on my third call.
GDP - It's no wonder why our M's failed, now that we see our ex's lack of communication. I just had no idea I'd be in for so much money.
I'm glad I know these things now.

Ah, that brings me to my question as well. So far I paid my lawyer a retainer of $1,500. He hasn't sent me any other bills ( even though I've asked) Since I was reffered to him by a friend,he said he wont bankrupt me and wont charge me for phone conversations. Last time we went to court to try to settle 1 1/2 months ago he said we were still in the retainer portion of his fees. But I am starting to afraid of how much it will end costing me. We are set for pre-trial for tommorow because last time we tried to settle, my attorney prepared the settlement agreement and had added in there that H will have to pay 25% of his bonuses for child support. H and his attorney deny that he recieves bonuses and according to them thats why he wont settle. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Then his lawyer started stumping his feet and saying I will have to pay his fees plus my H's debts (in his name only) and 1/2 of his IRS taxes, and I have to give him 1/2 of my pension. So my attorney said I shouldn't give in. What do you guys think( for those who are famililar with the whole process, because I am certanly not)? Will this end up costing me a ton? My H provided his paycheck for July 2002 as a verif of his income for the purpose of CS, his attorney wants me to use that as the basis for CS, but he works on commission and bonuses ( car sales). Well what do you think? My lawyer just forwarded to me a letter my H's attorney sent to him and a first copy of a bank statement since this whole thing started ( May 2002) The statement shows overdraft of $1,100.00 and its been closed.

<small>[ January 08, 2003, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: Like Water For Chocolate ]</small>