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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8
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aa Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8
After 10 years of marriage, my spouse decided to turn her back on me and walk away without any prior notice. Since then I became no body in her life. Went from hero to zero. Any thing I do became annoying. Any thing I say is wrong. Any attempt I make to reconcile is perceived as weakness. Our son who once was imortant in her life, became just another person.

I can't understand these things. It hurts so deep. I have treated my wife with absolute respect, love, romance, you name it. Yet, she can never get over her past abusive relationship with her ex. and at the end I became a casualty of her own battle.

I lost trust and confidence. It is hard to admit it. But it is the truth.

So, where do I go from here...?

AA

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 140
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Posts: 140
your story is no different than anyone elses. They just believe what they are doing is Ok. they dont think about what we are going through. X said he tried to make our M work but while seeing MOW. X said I made him fall in love with MOW because I D him. It makes no sense. They always have a excuse for what they are doing or saying. X only child didnt matter to him. The way he treated our son has made our son bitter toward dad. son will not see or talk with dad. I get blamed for it, but X was bold enough to tell son about why he was leaving home. only thing that kept me going though the pain was my son, friends, and keeping busy. I didnt have time to think about X. Ive moved to another state, it has made it easlier for both me & son. We didnt want to see him happy with OW around a small town. X & Ow are engaged I hope they will go on with their lives & leave us alone.
m-17 1/2 yrs
c-13, 29, 8 gd
me-48, x-43
d-5-02

ow-32
c-3 under 11
m-10 yrs
d-7-02

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 76
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 76
I cannot speak for all women and I surely have not turned my back on my child but I can tell you why most women do not want to stay married any longer. It is because we are emotionally neglected. We crave attention and love and do not get it. We want to be respected and loved, but somehow men forget how to do this after they get married. At this point you become annoying.
How was your sex life, did you satisfy her emotional needs, did she feel loved and respected?If you can honestly answer positively to these questions then something must be wrong with your wife.

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
aa,

Is the D final or did your wife just move out?

Where to go from here?? Have you been to counseling, either individual or marriage??

Just a thought,

SF3

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 13
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 13
I agree with Ruby1...I am seeking a D not primarily b/c of my h's affair but mostly b/c living with him is like living w/ an ogre..he sucks the life out of me. He is distant and shows no affection.

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 9
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Posts: 9
I also agree with Ruby1. I left my 24 yr marriage because I was alone...he worked all the time....left both myself and my children without the emotional stability we needed. They are bitter towards him for it, too. They are young adults. They don't miss him too much because he was never there to begin with. Same with me. I am still very lonely, but I don't have to cook for him, wash his clothes, or get annyoyed by him picking his toes!

You said you treated her with respect, love, romance, etc. If you did, and she didn't respond, I would say she really didn't love you to begin with. What woman in her right mind, and in love with her husband, would leave a man that treated her like you say you did?

I, too, suggest counseling....or, at least a divorce support group. You must be feeling an awful lot of pain, and possibly harboring guilt that you need to let go of. And, pray. Put your faith in God.


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