I posted the other day under "I thought things were better but now I'm back". He told me the past two nights he was going to see an Attorney, and last night I found a piece of paper in his truck with an attorneys name, phone number and Monday @ 2:00 written beside it. Why is he doing this to me. We had an argument. Everyone fights and now he just ants to end the marriage. I do not want him to go. It terrifies me. I don't want him to come home Monday and have a paper saying I have to leave the house. I don't know what to do. I have continued to talk to him each night and he threatens to leave the house if I open my mouth. To top it off my grandfather is in the hospital and probably fixing to die, and he can't be supportive to me. Last time we went through this my aunt was in the hospital and did die. Why when I'm down do things have to get worse. I have prayed for strength and for God to speak to him, but I feel like my prayers go unanswered. I am on the last string. I want my husband to love me and stay with me. i feel like I am losing my mind. AHHHH

Can someone please give me some advice on how to get through the weekend without driving myself or him insane <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

LShip,

I'm sorry to see you are hurting so much. I do not know your whole story, so I can not comment on what may or may not be going on with your H, but if I listen to the words he says and his actions, it sounds as if he is pretty determined to do this. Unfortunately, it only takes one to end a marriage, and if he is determined and his heart is hardened, he WILL do it.

I know that's not much of a comfort to you. You wish that I had some "magic words" or something you could do to FIX THIS and make him love you again. Trust me, I know just how badly you want that! But one thing I've learned is that you can't make him do anything. No matter how badly you may want the marriage and want him, if he doesn't want it too, you can't make him. There's no magic book to read or class to attend or words to say.

Have you read some of the Basic Concepts here on Marriage Builders? If you were here in August I would guess that you have, but just for fun this weekend, why don't you re-read them and maybe read some of the newer articles too? I bet that in your heart you FEEL like being frantic and begging and crying, but try to be calm and pray and have faith...try to reconnect to God as you know Him. Go to the church or synagogue or mosque or wherever and surround yourself with your spritual community. Take some walks and notice the beauty of nature--even when you are devastated, the silent strength of a tree can speak volumes...and the exercise will help reduce stress (a little).

Finally, I would say come here, to MB, and write. It helps to get it out of your system and not vent at your H, so come here.

I'll be praying for ya, LShip. Have a good weekend.

CJ

Lship,

When my husband left I cried out to God to speak to me about my marriage and He sent me here.
I found hope here.

www.restorem.org

gentle

Thanks for your responses. It helps to have someone walk you through it Well, I made it through the weekend. My grandfather dies Saturday so I had a really bad night. I came home to tell my husband, but he said, "I'm sorry-but I'm not going to comfort you". I think he is really confused. I know he cares about me, but he gets mad when we argue. He promised me he wasn't going to an attorney today (I rode by my house at lunch and his truck was still there at 1:30, and his appointment was at 2:00) I hope he didn't go. He works swing shifts so he worked last night, tonight, tomorrow night and Wednesday night. So he has his "time " away from me. But it also makes it harder for me to not talk to him. My Grandfathers funeral is Wednesday and he said he would go, but I really don't have the chance to talk to him before then. To top it off he has a friend coming in town to stay with us Thursday night. What am I suppose to do fake like we get along? I wish he would just grow up and learn to say he was sorry and move on. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and I feel like God is not answering my prayers. I have had a horrible weekend, and him acting like this is making it harder on me. I don't know weather to back off and see if he comes around or keep trying