Well, this is a first... <BR>I have never taken the time to completely explain my situation. First, let me offer a thank you to all that take the time to read these words. Here goes nothing.....<BR> I married young, around 23 (both 42 now) and felt it was as they say "the right thing to do". I loved my wife, she seemed to be that spontaneous happy spirit I needed to complete my life. She came from a dysfunctional family as do most of us do. Quite spoiled, never really prepared for real life with all its stresses. Not really nurturing, maternal or domestic (I came home from work today and cooked diner as she looked through sales sheets)??? (she does cook now and then but will try and get out of it if she can, but as they say... love is blind. More of a taker then a giver. We had our normal ups and downs as most couples do and managed to struggle through 8 years. We had a normal but boring sex life, but that was never a big issue. It bothered me, but it was ok for the time. <P>Ok... here comes the interesting section. A few months after our first child's birth, my wife started to suffer from what at the time was diagnosed as Post Pardom Depression. Well, this PPD stayed longer then it should of, and then began what was to be a roller coaster of major depression episodes which escalated to a one month stay in a mental hospital and ECT treatment in the beginning of this year. She is stable for now on meds, but we both know its just a matter of time until a stress in her life causes another depression. These episodes can last up to 6 or 7 months. At which time I need to take full control of day to day responsibilities. She will sleep a lot and have an incredible inability to make simple decisions. The kicker is, when she is "stable" she has a nasty streak. Filled with anger on many occasions and simply does not know how to "go with the flow" or forget and forgive. The nagging starts up and later on she will feel guilty for how she treated me. Don't get me wrong, its not torturous all the time, we can have lots of "normal" days in general but I need to watch my step and what I say. I can never really be myself. And she hates me being here on the computer, alwasys did. Going out is tough since she has a horrible diet, its usually the same few things all the time. She's very organised but tries to live up to her image of perfection and it always ends in disaster. I can go on but you get the point. I am soft spoken, easy going with a good heart and sense of humor. Maybe that's why I find it so hard to make a change. I am no angel, I have bad listening skills, a lousy memory and sometimes get lost in my own world, maybe as a therapeutic way of dealing with my situation. After so many years of anger and depression to deal with I sometime need to find ways to just get away. So we have be in this "limboland" for a while now (1 yr.). Too bad to stay and too good to go?? We live a loveless life and just go through the motions. We take care of our son just fine and he seems ok. He has known no other way of life. When we try to decide if we should split, we always end with a good understanding of all our difficulties and then we end up just moving on and ignoring the whole situation and live day to day. We are never malicious to each other and I have never lifted my hand to her. We have had no physical relationship for many months and its taking its toll. We just don't talk about it. A part of me honestly just does not give 100% of myself to the relationship mainly because in the back of my mind, I feel this roller coaster will continue forever, and so far its true (11 years) and that enivitably, it's gonna end. I hesitate doing any major work around the house for the same reason.<BR> So where to go from here? How can we decide if we should continually work at it with all its weaknesses and sadness and accept our life as it has become, or do we just find a way to come to grips with a decision to call it quits....<BR>Any words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.. And I'll leave you with my favorite quote............<P>"LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE"<P>Thank You...<P>Limbo