Last week I tried to end my life after I found out my husband was having an affair, it was not the affair that made me want to be gone but the fact that he said he made a mistake in getting married (we have only been married 1 year). He found me (he had moved out of our home) and got me to hospital in time to save my life. He said he came round that morning to ask to get back together to try again, but now he says he cannot cope with the guilt of what he drove me to do. We are talking but it's not looking hopeful and I am so desperate.....has anyone out there gone through similar?

I can honestly say I considered it deeply after my husband left me for OW 25 years ago. Had the gun all ready to go...but then it dawned on me that he would get custody of our newborn daughter and the anger and spitefulness in me just couldn't give him that satisfaction!<P>Keep typing girlfriend. We are here to support you!

I am very sorry you are going thru so much pain and despair. I too also wanted to end my life after the lost of my baby. Please seek a counselor to work through the emotions. Sometimes our emotions are so overwhelming that we look for an easy out. Take one day at a time, and as SueB said "keep typing." It does get easier everyday. I will say a prayer for you to give you the strength you need in order to survive. You need to take care of yourself first. You are not at fault, and you deserve to have a better life. Keep the faith! Things will work out for the best.

the pain felt when your spouse has had an affair is so intense...when you can find no tools to deal with pain, either physical or emotional...it's common to 'think' about ending your life, as a way to rest from the relentless pain. But...if you think you're going to act on it...get help fast. I thought of it when I was on the roller coaster ride of emotions...but I understood it was a mental way for me to relieve myself from the pain for a momment. Not to minimize it, but it's not uncommon (so I've read) to think about it when pain is great and constant.<P>understand your thoughts, read what you can about it, talk to others, strengthen your support system. Do what you need to get through the pain. Ending your life deprives you of future joys. Please be careful and honest with yourself.

Wow! How weird to read a post that could have been my own about 5 years ago. I also tried to take my own life and my husband said the exact same thing. Unlike you, my husband still doesn't understand it and says I was just stupid.<P>When I was in counseling, the counselor told me that some people use suicide as a last resort. Which it seems I do. I continually struggle with those feelings at times, but now I am more aware of it. Of course, I don't say anything to my husband. I pray that you have found some peace since you originally posted. (i'm new to this board, so I find things rather late.)

Hi, my H had an affair with a oman in August last year, then I discovered he had been having cybersex for ages and then he told me he loved me before going downstairs to tell his parents he wanted a divorce but did not how to do it. I cut my wrists.<BR>They were not supportive of either of us and it took time but through prayer support and listening to each other instead of blaming we are getting through it. Six months on trust is low, honesty is still questioned but as long as he tells me he loves me and shows he means it I can forgive what I now call his mid life crisis. See it as that and as long as you love each other and avoid the blame game love will win. Keep posting when you feel bad and we will help you. There is light at the end of the tunnel.<BR>Prayerfully yours Gill

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sadface:<BR><B>I am so desperate.....has anyone out there gone through similar?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I am a SOS, Survivor of Suicide. My brother killed himself 17 years ago. 12 years ago, my sister killed herself. Both with shotguns; my sister 5 years to the day after my brother.<P>Believe me when I say this - the pain for the survivors is very great. You do not need to do this. The depression will pass. Get anti-depressants to keep you from that pit of hopelessness you feel yourself drawn to. It is not real. You are fixating on it, as a moth to a flame.<P>It will pass. You will be better. The drugs (Prozac, Zoloft) do help. Tremendously. But... they take a couple of weeks to start to help. If you do not feel strong enough to resist the depression, find 10 minutes of strength and check yourself into a hospital. Have someone watch you for those two weeks.<P>Don't kill yourself because of someone else's thoughtless actions. You are better than that! That YOU didn't do this to THEM should tell you something. We all know how your world is rocked. I lost 40 pounds in a month, and I wasn't obese to begin with.<P>For me, the image of the OM raising my children was truly sufficient to lead me from the chasm. I knew my children needed me, needed someone to believe in, someone to trust.<P>Find whatever image you need to give you strength, take the drugs, don't let them win, don't let them destroy you. You are good and sensitive and caring.<P>Bama