Hi,<P>Just wanted to see if anyone else has ever been in this situation before or has some ideas. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I was a divorced mother of 2 when we met at work. He has worked there for 15 years and me 10. There is also a #3 to this story. One of our female co-workers who I considered my best friend, was having "trouble" with her husband because of an affair that he had. Well, my husband and myself were trying to help her work thru it all and I thought all was okay. Then, me and my husband started to have "trouble". Though, it all didn't start here, we really haven't been on the uphill stride for 2 years. Anyway, I started noticing little things like she was in his office alot and he was hanging around her desk and just strange little things that caught my eye. I mentioned it to my husband and her on several occasions but both said, NO, nothing going on we talk to each other. Finally, I <BR>knew there was MORE when she would go back to his office and call him at our other branches. To make a long story short, they had met each other outside of work, kissed and "held each other". They turned my world upside down! I have talked with both of them and forgiven both, although she knows now she is not "my friend". My husband and I have reconciled and I must admit, things are great. We are doing a Bible study on Communication and including Christ in our marriage. My question is: How do I cope at work? In Dr. Whaley's book "Surviving an Affair" he says they should not be around each other at any cost! and to add to that I must be around HER 8 hours a day! I am so scared that the "affair" will rekindle since they have constant contact that I just can't function sometimes. My husband admits he was STUPID and never imagined what has happened would happen....They both say its over over over....but the contact at work really scares me. I am constantly watching where she is going and where he is...how close he is to her when they are talking....<P><BR>Any insight.....or thoughts? <P>Thanks!!!!<P>

Sounds like you and your husband...your family need a fresh new start. Change jobs, or maybe relocate. May sound drastict, but you may drive yourself crazy with constant suspicions. how much is your relationship and family worth?...not to mention your peace of mind, I ts somthing to think about. Best Wishes Diane1

I agree with Diane1. You need to begin a conversation with your H about the two of you changing jobs. It would be ideal for the OW to leave (you'd think she'd have some decency in this at least) But you can't make that happen. <P>You need to make your H see how inappropriate and dangerous it is to your marriage and to your sense of well being to have to work together like that and constantly monitor and wonder. <P>He needs to put your needs first before his job and before what he may perceive of this OW's view on him quitting his job. <P>I hope he chooses the marriage over any other concerns.<P>God Bless

thanks lisanne and diane1. i really wish she would leave. I have asked God (if it is his will) that she or we will be shown where and when to go. He is just not answering us right now...one of those Garth Brooks "unanswered prayers" maybe...I don't know. Today was a "bad knot in the ole stomach all day" day!! They come and go...<P>thanks. I will stay in touch.<P>------------------<BR>