The answer to this is really very simple: "Tell him to see a doctor."<P>But he won't.<P>My husband has a job in which he is berated by his boss pretty much daily. The guy is filthy rich, and has decided that my H is his designated whipping boy.<P>Because my H has always had "father issues", this pushes all his buttons.<P>In the last few months, really since last summer, my H has lost a frightening amount of weight. But it's more than just weight loss, it looks as if he's wasting.<P>I know what you're thinking: AIDS.<P>But he's not sick; he's just losing too much weight. And since he doesn't work out, he's losing muscle. Without a shirt, he's practically skeletal.<P>Sometimes during the week, his stomach bothers him, and I think the food goes right through him. He doesn't eat much breakfast; only something like yogurt, and then he takes pop-tarts to have as a snack at work. His office brings in food, but he doesn't eat it. At night I make dinner, and he eats a fair amount, but I wonder if the stress at work is just making him burn it off that much faster.<P>He tries to make up for it on weekends. Last night he ate a cheese steak sandwich with fries and a club sandwich. He told me last night that he loosened his belt buckle that day when I mentioned that he's really too thin.<P>I am worried sick about him and want him to get to a doctor. He refuses to go. He's terrified of invasive GI tests like colonoscopies and things and refuses to do anything that might require such tests. So what do I do now?

Dazed & Confused;<P>I'm not familiar with your story but I can relate to you H's work environment. My immediate supervisor tries to treat me the same way. Although he does not have the authority to fire or dismiss me; working with him does cause me stress.<P>I've had to deal with this in several ways. First, I went to my doctor's and received a physical. Second, I rationally thought about what was the worst that could possibly happen to me, it's getting fired or terminated and I decided that I could always find a new job. Not working there would not be the end of my world, eventhough I like the industry. Third, I've begun a low intensity job search by networking with friends and clients I trust. Forth, I'm going to make daily work-out part of my routine after the holidays. Fifth, I'm going to make time for recreation I enjoy, including fishing, playing with the kids, projects around the house. And the sixth thing I am doing is planning a new business because I'm finding out that in business it's not always the cream that rises to the top.<P>I really don't know what the job market is like in your part of the country or world; but, encourage you H to either adopt the habits to deal with the situation or look for another job. Also, the skills taught in assertive behavior books maybe helpful to him. My supervisor tries to use me for a whipping boy; but, I've learned how to fire back in a professional manner. I still get "poop" sandwiches but not as often as a year ago. Just to let you know how outrageous my supervisor can be; I was criticised for setting a company monthly sales billing and collections record....go figure????<P>The book "Seven Habits for Highly Effective People" may be worth a read for your H.<P>The biggest step is to have your H quit allowing his supervisor to use him as a whipping boy.....no one deserves that treatment.<P>Best of Luck to Your Husband.

Dazed and Confused:<P>"He's terrified of invasive GI tests like colonoscopies and things and refuses to do anything that might require such tests."<P>Is he afraid of pain from a colonoscopy? So was I. I got knocked out, had it done in a hospital. It is a lifesaving test. post me here if you want details.<P> If you have to pay for the anesthesia out of your own pocket, it's worth it. ( I pay for anesthesia when I get teeth cleaned. Yes, I am a big baby.)<BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess