The thing is I do want my kids and most if not all of my vacation, I want to do stuff with them involved. The problem I have is she wants me to take a vacation to benefit them and then she will watch the kids if I want a vacation by myself. I had taken a vacation with some friends up in Canada last year, without her(guytrip) and she threw that in my face. I told her I was with the kids whenever you needed me to take vacation for her 2-3day seminars. With me working half of the month and having half of the month off, I take my kids that whole time. Her and her "boy toy" get 15 days alonetime.

I feel guilty saying no to watching the kids for her since I want them so bad but then I don't want to stoop to her level and say no. She expects me to do this and will then reciprocate when I want time alone. I feel like she is controlling me still. She can have 15 days a month free time and then she wants 10 days in a row sometime in August. Then I felt like the heel for saying no. I don't want to be down to her level because since our children were born, she would not allow us to vacation 10 days like that because the kids were "too Little" Now with former BF she thinks there's a whole new world and she deserves to see it.

I want her to be happy. I can't sit home and stew about this. She deserves to be happy. I love her that much. How she did it sucks but I have to move on. Maybe one day, she will understand the sacrifices that I made for her and God will work through her; but I can't be the bad guy. There already is one of them(BF). Why not let God work through them and I will take Toyman's advice and move on. She will deserve everything she gets.