XH and I were married 11/1/75, divorce 6/2/99. I did remarry, but not for the right reasons I'm embarrassed to say. I did think I loved #2, and he totally misrepresented himself to me until after we married. I am meeting w/XH tomorrow nite at a restaurant to discuss our teen daughter, first we've done this for 3 yrs. I am anxious to see him, see how much we have both learned being apart. He's had woman living w/him who is 8 yrs his senior, and brought her grandson to live with them, and it's not the greatest. I feel like we've learned much and I'd like to broach the subject of talking again. In years to come I want to do our childrens weddings together, grandchildren, etc. My memories are with him...my history. We needed better counciling at the time, things got so out of hand, and snowballed to divorce, not sure that's what we needed to do. I was in such a confused and unhealthy state, I just did what others told me. It was a bad time. Now, 5 yrs later since we seperated, I wish we could pick up where we "lost" it, and see if we can find it again. Has anyone else done this? With success? I've been praying about this for over 6 months and trying to have God show me......any suggestions? Thanks.

I hoped someone would share some pearls of wisdom, I must confess - any thoughts?

It's sunday night. A really slow time here. It may take more than 2-3 hours to get good results.

This is a heavy thing you're discussing.

I heard someone once say that no marriage is unrepairable until one of the parties marries someone else. That fits in your case but I don't know how strong your present marriage is.

These days I'm not the best on advice. I mostly come in for frivolous stuff. I often think that I'm so far down the path that I haven't a lot of value to add because my interests/needs have changed so much.

So, what do you really want? I think that's the thing to figure out - along with: who are the two of you. You have both changed. What is there to deal with? And that includes your current husband.

Work on your current marriage. Do not enter into a relationship discussion with xH. You could end up having an A if you are as vulnerable as you describe.

Keep to the discussion - Teen Daughter otherwise you may find things snowball again and you all get hurt... again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Sit down with your H and discuss what needs to be worked on. Get proper counselling with him. I wish you well.