Just letting you know that the 1st part of my UK Divorce was granted today. The Decree Nisi was granted by a judge today.

Hey don't want it, neither do the girls but it's done. Next part is called the Decree Absolute and that takes 6 weeks 1 day. Then it's final. I have to request it to happen. Am not mentally ready to do it yet.

and I have got to say that it has knocked me sideways. This is a mess for me. I dont want it, hate the idea, I want a recovery. I dont know how that is possible because my W has such anger and resentment toward me.

Yes I regret the LB's I've done. It's hard in Plan B, it's harder thinking about our family being in the state it's in now - broken. At times it feels like a surreal world that has just snowballed out of control. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Don't think for one moment that this is easy or wanted. It's a grim situation with no way forward.

Sorry I have to vent, I have been struggling with this, am struggling with it, cannot accept it and cannot let go from the woman I love. Not that she sees it or hears it. It's a painful lonely existence right now. If you are a BS with a WS working on your recovery be proud that you have that. The alternative is crushing.

Neil I'm so sorry you are experiencing so much pain and I truly wish I had the 'magic' words to ease the pain your going thru. Remember that we are all here to help on another. Never forget that.

Updated my news here:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi...pic&f=37&t=022260&p=2#000015

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">.. talk from stbx that they will go live with her and I wonder in part if this is also why I have been so low, am I fearful of this? Are the threats that come to me making me feel this way? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would think that such threats certainly make you feel low! How can they not? Why, just getting a one-line note from my stbXH asking about the taxes is enough to make me go in a tailspin for a day!! And that happens even now, when I can go for days without thinking of him and I have a satisfying life of my own. If he started threatening me or making any comments that were personal, I'd spiral completely out of control. So I can imagine this constant "yo-yo" is driving you crazy.

You are right - you have to remove yourself & your children from your wife's sphere of influence. That means absolutely no contact. If you feel yourself starting to slip, get on the phone and call someone else. Or come here and talk. Or find something else to keep you busy. You really need to focus on yourself & your kids. And you know the only way to do that is to cut the ties.

It's so hard, isn't it? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks SH94, I am putting some things in place to do just that, and to free myself some time for myself also which there has been so little of since the start of 2003.

Best Wishes Neil.