In the past 5 years, there has been a very steep incline the amount of women who are committing adultery in their marriages. I would like to hear opinions on why this trend is increasing so rapidly?

Thanks!

Women are NOT getting what they feel they need from their spouses. Also, we, as a society have lowered our standards in almost every aspect of our lives. If a spouse feels it's "OK" to cheat, they will. Man or woman.

What data do you have on the male species?

Women's A's tend to have a more emotional attachment than men's. Also, I think women tend to value other's opinions more, right or wrong, about the satisfaction with their lives. ie their enablers are viewed as trustworthy.

Personally I think Carrie in Sex & The City is to blame.

Thanks Sleepless, Doogie, Softman....

Sleepless...I am also a BS 30, happily divorced at this time and now dating a very nice girl (26) for just about 1 year now. I think we share the same situation with our former spouses.

If I may ask...How did you discover the affair?? and did your ex ever try to make the situation better...i.e.."never speaking to the OM again??

Thanks
Bryan

Sleepless..

Would you please give me a brief summary of your background? I am thinking that your situation was pretty close to my situation..

Thanks
Bryan

BJK, It's quite a long story but the net is that she could not pull herself away from the A to work on our marriage. One of her co-workers. It was the most pathetic display of humanity I've seen. (Most A's are, I guess.)

Dday was the finding of incriminating emails.

<small>[ January 24, 2003, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: SleeplessTX ]</small>

Sleepless.

I am sorry to hear that! I also found emails written that were very specific in nature. If the OM would have been in the same city, he would have had a baseball bat across his skull, but I surprised myself when I found out..All I remember is curling up into a ball on the sofa and crying very hard..

My ex even said that the affair was the stupidest thing she has ever done...she was right...but that didn't happen until 2 months after the divorce.

I wish you the best...Thank God that you didn't have kids..

Bryan

Sleepless.

I am sorry to hear that! I also found emails written that were very specific in nature. If the OM would have been in the same city, he would have had a baseball bat across his skull, but I surprised myself when I found out..All I remember is curling up into a ball on the sofa and crying very hard..

My ex even said that the affair was the stupidest thing she has ever done...she was right...but that didn't happen until 2 months after the divorce.

I wish you the best...Thank God that you didn't have kids..

Bryan

Thanks Bryan. My XW would never admit to me that it (the A) was a mistake.

You are right about not having kids; there would have been suicide or homicide. The guy she left me for has 2 very young kids. His wife had left him a few months before for their neighbor so the whole sordid story was straight out of a soap opera. I look back now and laugh.....

I guess that with the sexual revolution and all the "liberties" that women have been missing out on for so long it turns out they're just as dumb as men.

LOL!!!!

The number of women committing adultery has climbed for the last 30 years. This is because the "feminist" movement got the women out of the house & into the workplace.

Women have more contact with more men than previously, therefore affairs are gonna happen.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by doogie:
<strong> Also, we, as a society have lowered our standards in almost every aspect of our lives. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, I'd say it was the other way around!

The one thing that my XW kept saying during her affair was that she felt like she had "settled" when she married me. Like I wasn't the PERFECT man for her, and she DESERVED to find something better.

Perhaps it is the increasingly disposable nature of our society, or the constant bombardment of media sources telling us that we can "have it all," but I think the problem is that standards have actually RISEN, and that may lead to more infidelity.

I think that one of the negative aspects of the "empowering messages" that have been heaped on both men and women for the past few decades is that we are increasingly unable or unwilling to be happy with what we have.

I mean, you're used to hearing the messages that tell you that your house isn't big enough, your car isn't new enough, and you don't have a big enough television, but what messages are we getting about our relationships?

Isn't it possible that the "you can do better than what you have now" message has infected every aspect of our lives, and has become the engine that drives infidelity?

I believe we are morally declining fast...I also think there are so many adults today that have never seen a committed, loving marriage. We do learn by example. And I agree completely with Cjack that we are constantly fed that the "grass is greener on the other side......" No one is satisfied with what they have....As a matter of fact, this is what my WS told me.

It is sad that women are climbing the ladder of success in the A department. My heart aches for our children. I don't know what I would have done if my mom had affairs.....cause that was my Dad's "part time" job for a while.

TW

Positivebryan:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Also, I think women tend to value other's opinions more, right or wrong, about the satisfaction with their lives. ie their enablers are viewed as trustworthy.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Amen!
It's surprising. also, how women are prone to "ganging up" on men to support a sister. Instead of balanced comment, they will TOTALLY agree with a friend, and ACTIVELY help them in their deceipt of the spouse! The ones with stable marriages, though, are not AS supportive. Figure that out.

muzohead

We have more information available to us... men and women have always had issues with infidelity but we hear about it more nowadays. You think our lives are bad? Go read the stories of some of the people in the Old Testament... and that was 1000s of years ago.

And, an entire service industry has been built to support and guide people through divorce, recovery, reconciliation, and re-marriage... <points to this website as a perfect example>.

Thanks everyone!