... I've been on the recovery board for a while, but have now moved here after seeing a lawyer last week. I read the thread below and I feel like my situation is a lot like Desiree's (I hope I got the name right).
About 2 and 1/2 years ago, I caught my H in several lies. It's continued on through 2 rounds of marriage counseling and him seeing me cry too many tears to count. H has admitted to an EA, but that's it. Just last week in a counseling session with our pastor, H lied to the pastor.
I do not want a divorce. I want God's will for my life and I do believe in the power of prayer. But somewhere my H's will comes into play. We have 2 young children who have sufferred greatly from the chaos.
The final straw for me was talking to H's ex-fiancee whom he was with 5 years. He has continued to try to contact her all this time. And she knew exactly what he was putting me through - the cheating, the lying, the tears, saying he was saved, saying he was sorry, etc.
It dawned on me that he had done this to her and to me -- 10 years... 1/3 of his life.

Do I want a divorce? No. Do I want to raise children alone? No. Do I want those long nights of lonliness? No. But then I have to ask myself, Do I want to raise a son and daughter in a home of deception? No. Do I want the pain of living with a man who can pray with me one minute and lie to me the next? No. And can I bear to find out about his love/lust/need for another woman? Absolutely not.

Here are my questions: 1) How do I deal with my sister who criticizes me as stepping out of God's plan?

2) The papers aren't ready yet, but I had told the lawyer to file with a 6 month reconciliation period. I'm not really sure why, but I wondered how you all felt about the reconciliation period?

BHF,
Hi...welcome to D/D board. It sounds like you are wrestling with questions we are ALL facing. I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say "somewhere my H's will comes into play". Realizing that actually has helped me to decide to go into Plan B. My H knows I want reconciliation but until he decides to repent (that free will thing again) I'm just letting him set the course of our marriage and I'm not initiating anything, just reacting to what he does. (That way my conscience is clear.)

Could you clarify your last statement? </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">2) The papers aren't ready yet, but I had told the lawyer to file with a 6 month reconciliation period. I'm not really sure why, but I wondered how you all felt about the reconciliation period?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Different states have different laws and I don't fully understand what you mean by saying this. When would the reconciliation period take place? Under what circumstances?