My husband and I are at a strange place. We have been married for 6 1/2 years, and have had good times as well as bad. We both have experienced doubts about our compatibility at different times throughout our marriage, but never talked to each other about them. Well, we finally did talk.

What do two people do who love and care for each other more than anything, but maybe aren't the perfect people for each other? Is something as trivial as one person liking Mexican food and the other one not a valid reason to break up? That is just one difference, there are many more:) It's so hard because we both truly do love each other, we just are not always "in love". Is that normal? What are we supposed to do? Neither one of us wants the other to be unhappy, but aren't sure if we can fulfill this for each other. I wonder if we are being to optimistic about what we can get from another person-we know a lot of people who don't even like each other, or are nasty to each other, etc. In their cases, divorce seems like a good thing. We love each other. Does that make sense? Are we being imature?

I have read a lot of the articles on this site, and I think we have made every mistake that we possibly could:) I wish we could have seen this when we first got married!

Anyway, neither one of us knows what to do next. Is there hope in a situation like this? What would you do?

Thanks so much for any advice!

If you are on the site, there's hope. First, get off the D/D board and move onto the EN boards. Read all you can on the site, and take the questionnaires to help you understand each other.
When you realize that you both want to work on your marriage, buy the His Needs/Her needs book.
Then you can post specifics about your situation.

Many people on here say, staying married is a decision only you can make.
Seek counseling also if you feel that you need it.
Good Luck.

I agree----go to another board where you can receive support in the area of your problem. You rally should not comtemplate divorce until you have tried everything. If you are both willing to work, those differences you spoke of will not rule your life together. Every couple have many areas of incompatibility...you will run into this problem with anyone you live with....whether it is a parent, a child, a friend etc.

I think the book Give and Take by W. Harley would open your eyes to the dynamics of your situation. If you two are kind and loving to each other, you have won half the battle.....learn to compromise and find middle ground. Learn how to give and take.

TW

Thanks-I reposted on the EN board.

I have a question though, what does this mean:

<<DD 5, DD 3 They love their Rainbows Classes!>>

Soooconfused --

DD 5 = Darling Daughter, age 5

DD 3 = Darling Daughter, age 3

They love their Rainbows Classes! (now this line makes sense!)

See you over on the EN board with some thoughts.

Ammon