My ex remarried about 15 months ago after a 4 year-separation.

I was devasted by his affair, the divorce, and not really happy with his remarriage. But life goes on! I've tried to put him out of my life and want as little contact with him as necessary.

I did see him January 2 when our granddaughter was born. And he didn't bring HER. Thank God.

However, his 96-year-old mother is visiting him and wants to see me. This happned last July and I told him I just couldn't handle it. I did send her a beautiful Christmas present and told her I loved her. A couple of days ago, she called wanting to see me.

My daughter is going to get her and we'll meet at a restaurant for lunch. I'm very stressed about ti as I don't want to cry. He wants to be sure that his mother and I get together. He's also called to tell me of the death of a brother-in-law. We were together 29 years.

I'm much happier in my "new life" and really don't want to be reminded of the old one in which I was suddenly worthless to him.

How has anyone else handled a similar problem.

Thanks!

Martha

Martha, if seeing her would result in more hurt for you than joy for your xMIL at this time in her life, then you do have a tough one. Go w/whats in your heart. Perhaps if you could see this request as an opportunity to be a blessing to your MIL you could actually feel great about having met w/her. At 96, chances are it may be the last time you get to. Any though about how you will feel once she passes? You can bet the x will have her w/him then. Were you close w/her?

hmmm. . . . .

personally, if the visit will be uncomfortable to you, don't go.

a possible reason for the insistence for the meeting is that he wants to please his mother and to make the divorce as friendly for everyone as possible.

however, his happiness and his family's happiness is no longer your concern. If you want to go, fine, but don't put yourself out to please him and his desires.

wiftty