Hello all,

I have been perusing many of the postings on this site and there are certainly alot of broken hearts - so I am sorry to hear that. I guess what I am most confused about however are the abbreviations, or acronyms. Everyone seems to be using letters to mean a person or thing I guess: XH, SA, OW, what on earth do these things stand for? Can someone please post a key so that people who dont know can follow these threads? LOL, thanks. Or at least spell out theword or let me know what they mean? Thanks:)

Ok now onto why I am really writing. I was wondering if anyone has had success remarrying the same person you divorced after both have seen therapists/counselors. What do you say to family and friends, how do you explain it? Maybe divorce being so on the rise and people juts taking it for granted, maybe it has something to do with that I don't know. But lets say you fall back in love again and you are kind and loving to one another, is it an idea to scrap altogether because the pair would look so ridiculous in front of friends and colleagues?
-Pixie

Starlace,

I have friends who did just that. After 10 years of dealing with drinking and drugs, "Sue" took the kids and left. "Randy" realized what he had lost and went into drug and alcohol treatment. It took alot of hard work on his part, but he changed alot and proved to his ex wife that it was permanent. They remarried about 3 years after the divorce and have been very happily remarried for the past 7 years.

Some people thought she was crazy, but she had never stopped loving him; just hated how he was destroying himself thru drugs and alcohol.

Interesting question Starlace,
this topic has been brought up a few times.
I have sometimes wondered after being S for 2 years what would family and friends think? It is like embarrassing, humiliation? That all what you kept private in your relationship has been revealed to the whole world.
"So and so have broken up, this happened and that happened".
It can I guess in some circumstances/situations seem a farce to get back together.
Of course in abusive relationships its different.

Also, the longer you have been apart and if their is OM/OW involved plays apart on how you think this affects the whole "reconcilation".
But if both of you still have strong feelings for one another after time apart then whats too stop you?
I have been lucky that I have "sort of" remained in touch with my W. I have DB all this year.
I am out tonight in my city with a couple of friends and their will be a lot of women about.

I know I am still married but W is with or "sort of" with OM from work. I feel awkward and guilty that I chat to other women. I know I may bump into colleagues from work or friends that know me and W. I still don't feel right but what else can I do than just get on with my life.
I feel the longer this drags on it may seem a farce. BUT I Know we would have to be friends again and date. If and when W sees the other side of the fence isn't greener and OM is out of the picture then maybe....

I don't care what other people think, as long as my love is still for W then other peoples feelings don't come into it. My love is "unconditional". I grew up with W and I was too blame for our situation so I guess that also has a bearing why I feel the way I do..I have seen the light...men CAN change from there unreasonable behaviour(s) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

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Jim/NSR

Good question Starlace - I'm very interested myself. How do you go about contacting XH to see if feelings are mutual or one sided? What are recommended steps? Thanks for asking, I'll be interested in the answers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

But lets say you fall back in love again and you are kind and loving to one another, is it an idea to scrap altogether because the pair would look so ridiculous in front of friends and colleagues?
-Pixie
So you would not marry someone because of what others think?

What do you say to family and friends, how do you explain it?
You say, "I love Bill & we are getting married!"

Befire you even consider remarriage to the same person, you better look at and understand exactly why you got divorced. And say, "we just didn't understand each other" is not a good enough reason.

confusilated,
How do you go about contacting XH to see if feelings are mutual or one sided? What are recommended steps?
??? You are not even in contact with your ex and you want to get remarried?

You have to have a relationship & have interactions with your ex. From there, you can see if you still have marrying feelings for your ex.