I hadn't gotten a child support check in several weeks, so I called the agency in charge and they said my ex has new employment, which is causing the holdup. According to the divorce decree, he is supposed to let me know where he works and the phone #.

Since I have sole custody and he has chosen not to see the children in supervised visits, do I have any responsibility to notify him about things the kids are doing? i.e. school, illness, camp, etc? Should I try to find out where he works? Or should I just go on with my life as if he no longer exists? Although that is my preference, it just doesn't seem right not to keep him informed of the kids lives.

Hi Anna,

I'm with you on just pretending ex doesn't exist, but it is easier for me because the kids really don't want to see him or know what he is up to.

He made me jump through hoops our entire marriage and throughout the 2.5 years of the divorce, I figure if he wants to know anything about the kids he can darn well find it out himself. He hasn't even called since before Thanksgiving, not even a Christmas card, and he's still trying to hurt us any way he can.

Your kids do want to hear from your ex, I think, from previous posts, so guess you could set it up for them to call him and let them tell him of any news? Sports, school stuff, etc. You, of course, would have to contact him if there was any emergency.

I know, not much help. I still think it's cheaper, and less traumatic, to bury them (exes, not children). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Lori

Anna,

I agree with Bangarra...if your kids want to tell their dad what they are doing..they can call him..

I know it makes things easier for me--my kids call their dad when they want to..it's their relationship not mine..if there is an emergency
I'll call him and let him know..if their is a problem at school, I'll call him and let him know..if the kids have something they want him to go to at school or after school..they call and ask him..I have learned to step out of their relationship and let them be responsible for it

So look at it that way...he's their dad--not yours--if they want him to go to certain activities and such let them know to call him and ask him.. as you have no control over his schedule..just as if it were one of their friends
if there is something they want to do with them
they call and make arraingments---yet, they also keep you informed of what is going on in case you have other plans...

why run him down, if he wants to know about the kids he should be the one calling you. I have joint with X, he hasnt called our home since he walked out in 2001. while we lived in same town, he only saw son on Sunday only, didnt want his son on the weekends. his new life with MOW came first. her 3 kids came before his only child. now he is out of our lives for good, thank God we moved 350 miles away. X still expects our son to call him and is so stupid he cant understand why his only child wont call. My X is court order to pay medical and school, he is now behind $1300. They know you have to take them back to court to make them pay, that cost almost as much as the D did. their new life comes first before the family they had. Its sad but after a while your children wont care about Dad. My life is a lot better now that Ive gone on without him. Its nice to finally have peace in your life.

m-17 1/2 yrs
c-13, 29, 8 gd
me-49, x-43
d-5-02

ow-32
c-3 under 11
m-10yrs
d-7-02