I have been married for 7 years now. Me and the wife seperated for the second time in September. I am just now telling her how much I love her and would love to have her back in my life. She is telling me that there is no way she loves me still but not the love a wife should have. For the past five months we talkes on the phone and told one another that we miss each other. But now that I told her I want to start to work things out she says that she turned the corner two weeks ago and wants nothing to do with me. She even says that she wants to file for a divorce now. What do I do? Do I fight a one way battle for my family or do I just back off and drive on(which hurts so much). Thanks for any feed back you all could give.

Sandcrab --

Welcome to MB. I'm sorry for this pain in your life but I'm glad you've found this board as it's a warm and supportive place; we'll help you all we can.

First, you hang in there with this as long as you possibly can and as long as you want to. For the moment, it sounds as though you're the main advocate for your marriage, so if this is going to survive, you HAVE to hang in.

Would you tell us a little more about your situation? When you separated, who left and why? What was going on to make it necessary? I'm guessing your W left and you're still at home. Was/is an A involved? This is your second separation; did you have the same problems the first time around? Do you have children? Ages (yours and theirs)?

I don't think you're anywhere near the "driving on" point, so don't consider that for yourself or for your relationship. No matter how this goes, you will want to be able to say that you did the very best you could to make it work. Giving up too early isn't smart since you can't see around the corner.

You two have been apart since September and you're just now telling her you love her and want her back? Why? What's your take on her new stance about a D?

Help us out a little more here so that we can be more specific in our thoughts to you. We're here for you...

Ammon

Thank you so much for responding. This site has been helping me out very much. Yes this is our second seperation and we have two children. I am stationed overseas with the military. She was over here and we were both absolutly miseable. So we both decided to seperate and send her back home so maybe at least on of us could be happier. I was supose to be back by this June but with the war going on its not going to happen. I was home in December and we talked alot and I have always told her that I loved her. She would always call me and say she missed me and I would do the same. She has been going on dates but so have I. But I think that has made me realize how much I really do love her. I am not ready for a divorce. She is so quick to cut all ties with me just like the first time we seperated. She says in the past couple of weeks she has turned a corner on our relationship and just dosnt love me any more. She even goes as far as saying that she's not attracted to me any longer. This hurts so much. I know that our relationship hasnt been the best but we have had so many good things with it too. I just dont understand why she wont even open up to me to maybe start talking. I need some help here so much because I am flying home tomorrow for a ten days to see our kids and family. What should I do it seams the more I tell her how I am feeling the further she pushes away. Thank you guys so much for the suport. Dan

Ammon I forgot to tell you that our two boys are 4 and 6 and we seperated for the kind of the same reasons the first time. I just dont understand how she can fall out of love so quickly with me. If you need any more info please ask me. I need some one to shed some light on this for me
Thanks again.....Dan

sandcrab,

I just have a minute here at work, but wanted to suggest posting on the GQ II section. It gets more traffic as well as a wide variety of people, not just those DV.

d,