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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 140
M
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M
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 140
has anyone have a teenager who is going through depression? Dr. says son needs to talk with psychiatrist about his feelings about dad & D. we couldnt afford one, X is court ordered to pay medical but wont. a state agency is helping out we will be getting appt in a few days. It has gotten so bad that his grades are falling in every subject. son goes to christian school & does pace workbooks, he does not have to keep up with the class, its at his own pace. Dad name is not mention at our home, son will take your head off if you say dad name. Now he wants to sit in his dark bedroom all day. blinds closed, not wanting to go anywhere. Drs. say his weight gain maybe do to depression. son was a honor roll student until A. now he doesnt talk about college anymore, just getting a job to help pay bills. Im begining to wonder if he has learning problems or its the D. son is ADHD & on ritlin while in school only, I do not give him any medication while at home. classes he is doing bad in are the ones he loved & has never had any problems. doesnt want to go to Dr, it upsets him to talk about dad. We had a long talk last night, told him he needs to talk with Dr. & be truthful about his feeling. I want my son to get better, its not his fault his dad walked out. If the Dr. wants him on medication is this good or bad? What is the side effects for teenagers? would talking be better than medication? Dad is not in son life, dad made that choice because son wont accept OW as stepmom. X has never let our son meet OW, I think he afraid our son will harm her.

m-17 1/2 yrs
c-13 1/2 yrs, 29, 8gd
me-49, x-43
d-5-02

ow-32
c-3 under 11
m-10
d-7-02

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 10
J
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J
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 10
{{{myfamily}}}
I am so sorry to hear of your son's problems. I wish I had some sage words to tell you, but I have not been in that situation.

I do know this: it is critical that you get your son to talk about this. Mention his dad's name; do not let him dictate what will and will not happen in YOUR home. I know that you want the best for him, but do not allow him to stay in the victim role he is falling into. It will be a tough road, but I'm betting you can do it.

One other thing, I would mention to the doctor about taking him on and off Ritalin. I don't know the specifics of that drug, but it could be that he isn't getting a steady supply of it in his bloodstream and is having a hard time coping with that. Don't know; but it's worth checking out.

Good luck!
JLB

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 338
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F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 338
myfamily,
I haven't been on much lately but was on looking around tonight and saw your post. I have 4 children. All of them had/have ADD. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter. My daughter also has OCD. They have all suffered from depression at one time or another. It is heartbreaking and frustrating for us to know what to do. I have forced my kids to counseling and one of them even fooled the counselor. They have written things down that really scare me. They hate the idea of taking medication for it. All of them were on ritalin until 13 or 14 years of age. The only one on meds now is my D. She takes sara fem, which is nothing more than prozac for pms. She fought with me about needing anything, but she really gets out of control during those times. I have a huge hole in my wall from her feet. ( My oldest 21, is on an antidepressant also)We have been down the road of ADD and depression. I have learned a lot and at one time was asked to be the spokesperson on ADD for the school. It is such a broad subject with so much to cover I could go on for hours.

I will say this. Get your son help for the depression. When I couldn't get professional help, for what ever reason, I found if helped just to talk to them, or I should say listen, if you can get them to talk. It helps to start off with general conversation that they are comfortable with. Then lead in with your concern for what is bothering them. I don't want to alarm or scare you but when anyone becomes withdrawn it is real easy for them to see the only way out of their pain is to escape life. I don't think children and some adults realize that escape, through suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I have had the unfortunate experience to witness this first hand with one of my sons friends. My kids have all thought about suicide at one time or another, they have informed me. It is very hard, if not impossible to think rationally when one is depressed. I have also found ADD individuals seem more prone to depression. My kids have all been on antidepressants at one time or another, and believe me, it does help them. Ritalin, as you are probably already aware, has a short half life and is out of the system very fast. The popular antidepressants stay at a constant level if taken correctly. I think both ADD and depression are due to chemical imbalance in the brain. I just know I caught a lot of flack from everyone who didn't understand the benefits of the meds.

Like I said before, I could talk for days on the subject. If you have any specific questions or just want to talk, my email is wishmerich@hotmail.com The reason I gave you my address is I check my mail more often than I have time to come here and catch up on everything.

I know from being in your shoes, you can't have too much support in times like these. People who don't understand are also more likely to criticize ar lay blame on this or that. Sometimes it just is, but makes dealing with difficult situations seem impossible

I wish you well!
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