Hi. Well what an interesting turn of events again. Hubby came over yesturday (early) with flowers, chocolates and teddy bear for me. We had a nice afternoon, he was supposed to stay for supper, at dinner time he said he had to go. I started to cry because I was really hurt. (We had sex in the afternoon.) He said my visits maybe aren't such a good idea are they. I said I look forward to them. He said so do I. I get excited to see you, but after I have been here for a few hours I start getting all the old feelings back, like I don't belong here. (He was diagnosed with depression) I told him I loved him and missed him very much. He said he loved me too, and coming over has nothing to do with sex, and no there is no one else. But he needs to find out why he doesn't feel like he belongs here. I told him maybe we should just meet somewhere for coffee, dinner, movie. He said he is not ready for that yet. He said he needs to go to counselling and get things sorted out. (Oh he left his job on Tues. which was the main problem of our marriage.) I told him I trusted him with all my heart and he said I didn't know that. And that it's not about going out meeting anyone or dating. He then gave me a hug and kiss and said I will see you Sun.
So please someone tell me is there a chance for this marriage to work. It has been almost 4 weeks now. I know it's not long and I told him a few weeks or months with out him was better then a lifetime. He aslo told his sister he loved me and I looked so great and there was no other girl for him. I really need some positive feedback here.
Thank you

Your situation sounds alot like mine. And I do belive there is hope. I feel that if he can come over and spend any time with you the love is still there. Don't give up!! If he gave up his job, it sounds like he is realizing it was a problem and that is a great start. As for him having to leave all of a sudden and feeling like he don't belong, I think it has to do with not being ready to move back home, but being very comfortable when he is there and the emotions get all mixed up and the only solution he can think of is to leave. I bet he feels as bad as you do, but just doesn't know how to deal with all the different feelings and emotions that are going through him right now. Just give him a little space and assure him you love him no matter what. Keep your chin up, I have a feeling you will work things out here. I will remember you in my prayers.

I think if two people love each other and are committed to each other and have a vision for their marriage beyond what it is like now, then things will eventually work out. It sounds like he needs to walk a journey of healing - support him the best you can but also protect yourself and your heart. As for the practicalities of how....only you intimately know the situation and can judge this for yourself. Keep persisting and focus on the healing, not the hurt.
sp