Here goes...Stbx hasn't paid me in two months. Only paid the rent b/c it would throw son and I out in the streets. Oh, and he left son and I (son is 4) to deal w/joint cc bills too. Anyway, my time in court finally arrived...Not the final d mind you, but to deal with his not wanting to comply with the terms of our temporary agreement of last summer which was negotiated between our attorneys.

I arrived and wore a nice sweater and skirt. Very modest. Had it for maybe a decade. Was bymyself. Walked quietly by the courtroom and almost teared up. So I walked into the ladies' room and did in fact cry. Guess it was final realization that this d is happening and it will be over soon. And for what? He has gained nothing through this divorce. Did he really think that your x spouse can be your "best friend" after you are mentally and physically abusive and a serial cheater? Did he think that this whole divorce would go 100% his way? Did he think that he could continue to control me? I think he must have.

Anyway, I walk out of the ladies' room and stand down a far hallway. It is a quiet courthouse in a country town far from the city life of Atl. And while I am waiting for my attorneys to arrive, a short guy in a suit walked toward me. I'm mr. x, he says offering his hand to me and smiling..I am Deucey's attorney. This totally caught me off guard. I know that Deucey must've seen me walk in and told attorney to find me. I did not appreciate this man nor his forwardness to intimidate me before my attorneys arrived. My attorneys didn't like it either. But he is a cheeseball, this attorney.

Anyhow, my attorneys come in and I feel much comforted. I kept repeating the old verse to myself, the one where I used to use as my signoff here: "Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground; and after having done everything to stand.". This gave me more peace. And when I walked into the courtroom and saw stbx there acting like this was an inconvenience for him and not serious at all, I teared up again but looked away. I was sitting on opposite side of court from him. First came some pleas from other cases. One guy had been accused of stealing video's from a store. About 300 worth. And this guy was crying and very remorseful. He had no money and gave a pretty decent excuse why. And across the courtroom from me stood my stbxhusband who was just sitting smugly and at one point even looked like he had fallen asleep with his eyes shut for a long while. Owing his wife and child ten times and a little over what the man who was crying and remorseful had stolen. That spoke volumes to me about the man he had become now.

The judge told our attorneys that there were a few more pleas and that he'd work us in after them and dismissed us to a large chamber/waiting area where the attorneys hashed the circumstances out. My attorneys know I've been through alot and didn't want to add to my hurt any more so they put me in a room separately so I didn't have to hear the bull from Deucey.

Found out alot. He is claiming now he doesn't have money. And found out he has an office on the west coast of the US. There are alot of things about this man that doesn't make sense now. And alot of things that do make sense as well. He has been living a life that I know nothing about for three years. And there will be probably a whole lotta stuff that is going to come out soon. He told my attorneys when he forcibly entered my home that day and ran downstairs that he was "invited in by me" which was totally a lie. I did in no way invite him in. So if this is the way things are going to be, there are going to be tons of lies that he will tell but my attorneys and anybody with a half bit of sense in them will not believe it. He said he will pay us some money next week. But his attorney says they will file immediately a motion to modify the amount I am getting in the temporary agreement. And then my attorneys said we will next friday file a motion for contempt. He had two months to do a modification or attempt one legally all the while still attempting to pay in good faith the best he could do if he were really hurting financially as my attorneys say and I also know in my heart.

So after the teary pleas were heard, the judge hears this. The judge makes Deucey sign and agree to the temporary agreement and then the attorney for x says that they will file a motion to modify and my attorneys speak up and say we will file a motion for contempt. I start feeling dizzy at this point. It is over very quickly. As I am walking out with my attorneys flanking me, he walks ahead and when he thinks nobody is looking, shoots me the MEANEST SMILE, MORE LIKE A SMERK. His look said "ha ha I got away with this". But one of my attorneys did see him do it and said to me in the hallway--we all know he is full of crap. Do not talk, listen or read anything he has to say...The man is a confirmed liar.

And then they lightened me up and said that I should have some money, not all of it yet, but some next week and that if he is in contempt, it will really look bad for him and the judge will smack down on him so fast. BTW, my attorneys are better..His was very stand-offish and stiff in front of the judge. My lead attorney is very at home in this court and knows the judge and staff and was keeping everyone at ease making even a small joke at one point. Very amicable man and kinda like a very well-dressed friendly grandpa who happens to be an incredible trial attorney.

So although Deucey thinks he won, he really lost. He had to sign the agreement. He is not getting away with anything. But what hurts me above all is that THIS IS THE MAN I MARRIED. I went home and cried and cried. There is absolutely nothing left, not even a sliver of the man he was once. Or was he ever that man? I don't know anymore. Now I hear that he has another office thousands of miles away and has had it for quite some time. Maybe he has another life there too. He's kept his life hidden from his son and I for four years now.

I cried for what I once thought I had. Cried because it meant nothing to him, that he has left his wife and child wondering how to keep the electricity on..I make a decent salary but with all the bills and what he has left us to pay, the joint bills too, there is a very negative cash flow problem. And I am pinching pennies and have done so for quite some time now. Do I believe he took my watch for sure now? Absolutely. His smile told all. He had not an ounce of shame or regret about his not paying son and I and even was arrogant about it. And yet a man cried yesterday about a crime worth only 300$. And my x laughed and smiled about cheating his child and wife out of over ten times more with no regret or feeling.

I fell asleep after taking 2 tylenol pm's. I didn't dream. It was surreal. I don't hate my stbx. How can you possibly hate someone you know is sick and lost...I don't hate him. I feel sorry for him. He is a cruel and selfish man now. He is someone I do not know. He is someone I don't care to know also. I do pray for him and it hurts me so to see him like this. He was all tanned and wearing a nice shirt and dress pants (his attorney probably said not to dress like he does at work or the judge couldn't possibly believe him). Looked like he'd just come back from the Carribbean...Or the west coast?

I do believe in MB. I tried for 2 years to save my marriage. It is over now and I just prolonged its death by keeping it on life support. But I know I did all I could. God knows that and my friends and family. Am at peace with this fact. Please pray that son and I get a speedy solution soon. That we can settle this case and get a decent settlement so we can start anew. Deucey has almost totally ruined my credit and I am doing the little I can to help now. I am scared beyond belief. This kind of cruelty should definitely be a crime. He has not paid us because I would not agree to the ridiculous terms of his proposals. You have to stand strong for your kids. And this guy has found every loophole. I don't think most of us here who unfortunatley do get a divorce will go through even ten percent of this kind of stress, but know that it does happen sometimes...And it does happen to the spouses that don't cheat. Don't steal. It happens and even the good ones get used and hurt through the sadness that is the lot of divorce.

I hope that when this is all done...That one day he will wake up and realize he is lost. That he had a family...A good one for a brief time in his life. That he used to go to church and he used to have alot of friends. He used to be respected by others. And that he threw it all away on women and greed.

I am more than saddened. I am sickened. Please understand if I am not replying to alot of friends here, once I bounce back I will start supporting again. I am just at the possibly lowest point Ive ever been at friends. I don't like having to be tough. I don't like having to drag someone into court. I don't like this at all and truly wish that things were different BUT THEY ARE WHAT THEY ARE. And I have to be a good mom to my son and that means doing what is best and in the best interest of he and I now.

I am praying for a bright tomorrow. For a new chance. I am scared to death right now and need alot of friends here to let me know how they survived this and made a fresh start. Have any of you had financial difficulties like mine and how did you rectify them? I need to know how to turn this situation around now.

I can say one thing...This will be the last valentine's day I shed tears on. I have hit rock bottom. So I can only go up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I have to believe this. God's protected son and I thus far and if we can just make it a month longer...

Goodness, you've been through a lot. Maybe this time things will turn around.

It sounds like people are beginning to wise up to the man. It's about time.

I still wonder what happened to the man I married. But, even though I went through two bouts of clinical depresseion and ended up filing when the second one hit and I was in the drs office for an EKG which showed I was fine but stressed to the max, I survived. You will too.

I'm a stonger, wiser woman today. I'm poorer but richer - if you know what I mean.

Let yourself cry some. But not too much.

Now, put your right hand on hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder and give yourself a hug.

Peachy,
I'm sorry you had to do this, especially on V-Day. But I'll tell you, it sounds like you handled it much better than others would have. In reading your post, you say you've hit rock bottom. Yet I sense a change in you, not sure exactly what. You seem stronger and more focused on future goals than in previous posts.

I don't have any advice, because so far finances haven't been a problem for us. I just wanted to let you know I think you're gonna be fine. You are stronger than you realize. People here at MB are pulling for you and praying for you!

NotPeachy

Things will get better, just keep saying that. All of this part is definately the worst part and hardest emotionally.
I have to scrape financially sometimes, i don't have nearly the earnings now, that i had with both my ex's income and mine.
Have not had problems as far as support, although, he doesn't give me that much. It goes straight from his check to the court and to me. He doesn't have much say so in that.

I look at him now, and thank God everyday that i am not living in that horrible situation with him anymore. I am such a better person and mom now.
No stress in my life anymore, and that's nice. Happy with me for once in my life. And the best part is I don't have to depend on anyone, but myself, for my happiness. That's the best part of all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Hugz to you NotPeachy, will be praying for you.
becky

Thanks friends...I am really down today. I am surfing web and applying for other jobs..My job won't give me more hours and after one year, still no raise and I am working my butt off for them. There are not alot of people who are licensed to do what I do and employers just don't know what or how to do with us. Thus I am now looking in pharmaceutical sales. More money possibly and benefits.

So I am learning...

And I am definitely scared. I know that this man is not about caring for his x wife or child and that I have to stand strong and do this maybe all on my own now. So I am I guess preparing mentally for worst case scenarios. I just want this over and be able to breathe.

Plese keep praying for us ok? I miss you guys and am just now not in a good place emotionally. I am staying home tonight although a girlfriend wanted to go see "Chicago" at the theatre. I am just not up for it. I feel very much like a slug.

notpeachy-

I just wanted to wish you luck with everything from across the river in SC. I know what you mean with regards to the finality of the coming D seeming so unreal, especially when you've held out hope for so long. My D became final a couple of weeks before Christmas last year and I'm still coming to grips with it. Just know that your faith will see you through and better days lie ahead. Good luck and god bless!

Peachy, it's funny how you should mention the verse from the Bible,.."put on the full armour of God.." for some reason that verse came into my head today. I often feel like God is speaking to me that way!!

You are a remarkable, strong person. I'm sorry for your financial troubles. If it's any comfort, you have lots of company there!! I too am very scared - I know exactly how you feel. As if it isn't enough tryng to be a good parent, (in your case a small child, in my case a teenager- more similiar than you think!!) we have to lay awake nights thinking about how we'll make this or that next payment.

My stbxh had his attorney send me a letter giving me until 5pm today to accept his terms of "fair division of assets" or they would be withdrawn and we can start from scratch. I have'nt even had a hearing to determine temp support yet, much less have questions answered about pensions, etc. Yet I had a deadline to respond to!! Yes, I've cried many tears too, for the man that WAS...I wonder where he is now.

Just know that in understanding, you have firm support for what you are going through, which is many times more difficult than what I am facing.

That's why I admire your strength. You deserve to withdraw for a while and "lick your wounds." You will emerge even stronger. You know, a long time ago, in a different, happy life, I lived in GA, in Norcross, just outside of Atlanta. My stbxh had just graduated from college and we had two small daughters and bought a wonderful home and embarked on a wonderful life, with his new job and opportunities. My third daughter was born there. We celebrated her 17th birthday today, separately. It would have seemed inconceivable then, as I'm sure it did to you a few short years ago, that life would be this way.

Know that you are prayed for and greatly appreciated.

Basically over the last few days I've been a recluse in my home, licking my wounds. Wearing around my vsecret's hearts robe (really cute and comfy) and some fuzzy slippers and watching sad movies. Watched "hope floats" and realized that the words the husband said to Birdie was exactly the same ones I heard over a year ago...Now that pity party is over. I think I cried any tears I had left in my heart for my stbx. In my heart now he is x husband. That is awful, but that is how it stands with me.

I am off work today as it's a holiday and they didn't give me MLK day off. So I am again copying and pasting my resume to drug companies. Should hopefully get a bite or two in the next few days. Please pray for that ok? Then I am going to take a warm bath and clean up and give myself a pedicure and start more housework. I spent a total of 12 dollars over the last four days so I am budgeting pretty well. I will do it! Somehow...

Just pray for son and I. We are nearing the end of this ordeal. Stbx, Deucey is more than lost..He is, as they would say in Star Wars, moved to the Dark Side...Maybe I should change his name from Deucey to Darth now. That may be more appropriate after his behavior these last two months and on Friday.

I don't know what so deeply affected me about Friday. Maybe it was because I saw the utter finality being in that courtroom. Maybe it was because of his smirk and evil look he shot me as we were leaving and fact he had no caring or remorse. I guess that 1/100000th of a chance he would have broken down crying just like the guy before us in the courtroom and a last minute change of his heart and soul was there. But it was not to be and I know fully that the man he was once is no more. That part is up to God now. And I have fully given it to Him some time ago. But I have this financial worries now. But if it were not for the financial worries, I'd be totally ok. After all, I don't have or carry the burdens of his cheating, not coming home, lying, and the mental and sometimes physical degradation that would surround yet another d-day. Instead of being apologetic he would always become confrontational when I would discover yet another betrayal. And it didn't matter if I casually mentioned it to him or said it emphatically. His reactions were the same. And I don't have to worry about being controlled by him anymore, yet he is still trying to do that with the financial situation. Once this is over, please pray that I will have just enough money to be financially and emotionally free of this. PLEASE PRAY FOR THAT FOR US.

It is amazing...I read some of the posts yet, and although I don't feel strong enough yet to reply and offer good advice yet, it is the same. We've got to support them. The newbies here. They hear the exact same words as I did. They have to learn what it is that is really going on and what and if they can do anything to help their marriages using MB techniques. So my M didn't work. That is ok. I have learned new things and will be great when the day comes and I am in a new relationship in the future. I have changed. I am better. I am stronger. I love more deeply and I stand up for those I cherish. That is a winner. So my credit report sucks. That is ok. If any of you btw, HAVE REPAIRED YOUR CREDIT AFTER A DAMAGING FINANCIAL DIVORCE BATTLE PLEASE SLIDE YOUR HELP THIS WAY? I know I will be writing letters until I am blue in the face. So thus, I shall type the same letter and just change the address when I go to print them off..lol..

But I am going to start being proactive again. Your prayers have kept me on my feet somehow. Thank you friends.

Thanks Avondale, Cindy, Litchfield, and Broken..I love you guys and all here. God bless you. Have a good day.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by notpeachyinga:
<strong> So my credit report sucks. That is ok. If any of you btw, HAVE REPAIRED YOUR CREDIT AFTER A DAMAGING FINANCIAL DIVORCE BATTLE PLEASE SLIDE YOUR HELP THIS WAY? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi NotPeachy! Sorry to read of this your latest battle with Darth V - I know you have tons of folks here praying for you. Don't know if this might help you or not but it sure worked for me. I lost everything in my Divorce. Filed Chapt 13 (Total) Bankruptcy same month my Divorce was final. Blew my credit to U Know Where.
Waited 1/2 a year, then applied for a Fingerhut Card. Then Fingerhut 'recommended me' for a Direct Merchants Card. Then I got a Providian Card. Then I got remarried. My wife had poor credit from her previous marriage too.
We continued applying for Credit Cards, etc.
Now we wish we hadn't - we got too much credit heheheeee. You wouldn't belive how much!!
Just do it - it works, but give it time.
May The Lord bless you, Peachy.
Harold

Thanks my bud Harold.

Have I got news today. Darth, as he is now known, has been completely taken over by the dark side and his companion, the woman known as Ms. Family Values, a 25 yo divorced already mom of a 2 year old, is shacking up with him as when I called today to discuss his latest shenanigan.

As i drove up into my driveway, there was a repo man there for his ridiculously expensive yuppie off the road vehicle (0ver 100k). Turns out he hadn't paid it in two months. It is in my name and in his coporation's name. So I call him mad as heck. He gives same song and dance and says he is broke. Nope, he has a bmw 745i in his name and paid for with cash brand new.

So here is what goes...I shall cut and paste it. I am not ever going to email him again. He is awful. Awful. And on top of that, he has FORGOTTEN THE THINGS HE HAS DONE TO ME AND TO OUR SON. HE REALLY HAS A SELECTIVE MEMORY, DARTH. To be an overlord of evil, one must have a good memory....He hasn't attempted to pay us yet either and I shall have Darth imprisoned in the death star soon and unleash the legal forces of the rebellion unless he forks over some dinero as per our legal agreement. When I call to discuss the soon to be repo'd vehicle, he begins in on me and tells me how lucky he is to have Ms. Family Values and goes on to say how thin and tall and twentyfive she is and yada yada yada and how I should lose weight (I am actually pretty decent looking)..And then starts in again after I dare tell him to do the right thing and change the name on it and quit ruining my life. I tell him to take his waif and shove her up his rectum.

So here it goes...I shall cut and paste it and edit the names...to protect the real name of darth and me.

He just attempted to IM me and ask me what a waif is...A Cfo of a company doesn't know the meaning of that word...I told Einstein to go look it up in his funk and wagnalls (brand name of dictionary). I used to help write and correct many of his letters he used to write to his clients and to the media in the past. And let me tell you, I did alot of correcting of grammar and spelling. But I don't do spellcheck here. Just write and I am MAAAAAAD TONIGHT.

Darth:What ever you say, you never hear me anyway. I will bring the truck over to your place tomorrow evening and you can just let them have it I guess. I can't pay it and your certaintly not going to try to work it out with xxx. You didn't with the CC's
Me:

Please quit attempting to ruin my life. I want a fresh start again. It is no wonder you are wanting to give us documents, the ones I've been asking for for over a year now...It is modus operandi that men fork over documents when they have a poorer than usual business quarter to show their financial doom in the presence of a divorce judge...I am not stupid like you prefer to think I am. Yes, you blew alot of money and I did not...Not at all. And money is spent on assets you have Darth.

Your vehicle, the suv, has been in your possession since nov. of 2000. IF I had only known what your were doing extracirricularly at that time with ms. monkeyho, I would have never signed anything. Please just be honest and help me get my name off of the vehicle YOU DRIVE..THE ONE WITH YOUR VANITY TAGS ON IT.

And you indeed owe me and our son money. How dare you attempt a motion to modify when you haven't given us one cent for two months o ther than the rent...Or do you really wish to know financially how horrible the situation is that you placed us in? Do you really know? And your little emails about my settling or getting help from a credit agency on these JOINT ACCOUNTS? Am I to somehow find a way to pay for that too? There isn't enough money...I don't make enough. God I wish I had walked away from you years ago. I would have never dreamed you would have put your wife or any child you'd ever have through this kind of hell.

And do not ever make another damn comment again about my appearance . Just be confident that I am found attractive on a daily basis...My ego isn't hurting and when this whole ordeal is over we'll see how you feel when one day a guy picks up the phone over here just for starters...I am not a sloucher. Sure, I cannot afford to buy the latest clothes right now. I have started taking better care of myself for myself and for our son. But I am indeed 33 years old, a mother and a real woman. I am not a kid. I am not a twentysomething anymore, despite being told by plenty of people I still look that age. I have lived through alot of adversity and made it through. Survived divorce and the death of my father and endured so much pain and my husband never did care. You never did. You only cared about yourself and your personal situation. A family just wasn't important enough. And any girl who thinks what you did that day when you entered without, and I repeat, without my permission and ran downstairs like a wacko hiding a camera just to take a picture of a bird cage needs to have their head examined. They deserve at least a somewhat baggage free future..But tell her to be a little smarter and look at caller id before answering the phone and facing your still legal wife. That is very disrespectful Michael...But what else is new?? Just remember, I know now that I am indeed attractive, smart, and will be a success in the near future. I may have had a difficult time these last two years, but this pain taught me something.. And btw, there is definitely something you should know...You have for quite sometime exhibited the traits perfectly of NPD. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. However, unlike you who throws out diagnoses over the phone without first attending a medical education of any kind, I have the background and can say that you do have the traits exactly and meet the criteria. You can look it up should you desire to learn more about what I do think you have. And no, I have saved this for some time. Maybe that would explain your self-centered behavior and impulsiveness and disregard for marriage and traditional families...Many people with that do behave this way. But that can be helped. That is why I do understand you could change one day.

And you wonder why I cannot look at you and do not want to until the day you become a changed man? It hurts me to see you this way Darth. Hurts alot. But I want you to know that you signed a legal agreement. A legal agreement which has been standing for over six months now. There are obligations you have to meet now. And I have bills to pay, for our son and for me. I am not going down. I am not going bankrupt Darth, because of your selfish desires anymore.
Your, as you put it, "30 pounds overweight and thirty three" x is finished with this. You can take the 25 year old mom and waif and do what you want to. I don't care. Just don't compare me with anyone. I am much more than that. I stood by your side as a faithful wife. I am still pretty. I spent nine days in the hospital to bring your child into this world regardless of the danger to me, and I am and was always a wonderful mother. I have endured alot and still managed to make it. So don't compare me to someone who lived almost ten years less than I. Ten years less experience and seven years not as your wife. Save it.

Regain some honor and at least do the right thing financially for son and I. Maybe one day you will change and I pray for that day. But I am not waiting around and know that I will be happy. I deserve it so much. God has been good and will continue. And if your friend can justify having a relationship with a still married man, then tell her that she can answer the phone anytime she wants...Or have you two found a new twist on the faith thing??? Guess she being a faith oriented person as you said, has found God's loophole for infidelity. Or has the church changed its opinion since I last went?
pay the cc's with what? Sure wish I could give them a lump of beads like the English did to the Indians when they bought Long Island...Am I to just pay them with some monopoly money?

Even when you use a credit agency, THEY REQUIRE YOU TO PAY A MONTHLY AMOUNT FOR THE DEBT...

Do not default on this payment. I WANT TO HAVE A HOME OF MY OWN SOMEDAY...THIS YEAR...AND YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.

Darth:Just start collecting sticks to build your TP with like the Indians or commit suicide and do us all a favor. I will be dropping off the suv at your house tomorrow afternoon.
Me:You are sick. You are truly lost and sick. To wish your son to lose his mother. God save your soul, Darth. To wish him the pain of losing a parent is unforgiveable.
Darth:one last question. what is a waif, and what did you mean?

Then he im'd me and said that he was joking about the comment about suicide and I basically told him that I hit the send button and that it was immediately sent to my attorneys. And then he says garbage of how he tells our son to treat me with respect and get this...love...lmao! I was infuriated by now. I haven't responded to him in so long and will not ever speak to this creature again.

Here goes the last bit where he cannot remember treating me poorly and only instilling love and respect to our son about his mother:
Me:OH, do you teach respect and love when you take your son on a vacation with your mistress and do you teach respect and love when you push your wife down in the hallway upstairs at the family home when she found your girlfriend's baseball hat? I don't think your behavior has exuded respect or love toward me.
forget it...you don't remember the harley baseball hat and what you did? oh, you have a selective memory prince charming. I found the hat when I was unpacking your bags for you and doing your laundry after you left town at the last minute and instructed your parents to take me to dinner when for my birthday when you flew to the coast and stayed at Beau Rivage. .Geez..Maybe one day I can jet away on my birthday and stay in a suite..
It was when you left on my birthday with business partner (?) for the weekend at the biloxi casino with her and said you attended a golf tournament(?) . You gave me hell b/c I dare ask what a woman's hat was doing in your bags...Or maybe you are too embarassed of your own actions and of what you did to your family and wife. But probably not knowing the new you.
Darth:A baseball hat, what the hell are you going back into time with now. Baseball hat?

He then attempts to IM me some more but I respond with only one word..click and I exit the screen.

He is ruining my financial life!!!I have left three messages with my attorneys to see how to deal with the repo man. He's love to see me go down now. And he is actively trying.

I am soooooooo damn mad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What a freaking MORON! Heartless, senseless, and soon to be SUVless as well. Were I you, I'd file total Bankruptcy on every single bill you own, pack it up, and get out of town after you officially divorce - the Divorce Courts will NOT do a darn thing when you do - I did it to my ex after she cleaned out our Joint Account of $23,500 the Army had paid ME for Disability Severance Pay - I never saw a penny of the money - she took it all and put it into her account so I was unable to touch it.
I felt justified.
So will you after you get divorced.
Good Luck.
Harold
Been there, done that, got the (bloody) T-Shirt too!
Never looking back.

Peachy, did idgithead Darth make the suicide comment verbally or in an e-mail? 'Cause if it was by e-mail, don't you dare delete that one.

Limit your contact with this vile entity. And when you have to talk to him, I would covertly be packing a running microcassette recorder. I love my answering machine that uses those tapes because I have a nice stash of tapes where x has been ureasonable or cruel. Have a digital one someone gave me but I've never plugged it in. Because I can't permanently keep messages.

notpeachy, I'm sorry for not seeing this sooner. You express yourself so well that I feel like I'm there, and I can relate all too well to the pain and the anger you're feeling. It's so painful to see these men that we thought we knew, that we thought were admirable, honorable, and lovable turn into creatures that we can't imagine ever knowing. For me, that's the hardest part. Just know that you're not alone, that no matter what he thinks, you're a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman and that shines through here.

wow peachy i feel for you. my husband of 20+yrs left me. see i knew it was coming and tried my best to keep marriage together, but these so called friends convinced him to leave me. he went to them a few times in the yr before he left and just wasnt communicating with me like he used too. i have even asked him how come he doesnt pray with me or how come we dont talk like we used to. we were real close for sometime we would share everything with each other. then after he visited them it seemed he was hiding things. well after a trip he went on with "them" he was real different. i even asked him at the time why he came back youll never guess what he said. he said "because i had too" when he said that i just started crying i should of known then that it was over with but we had a big trip together planned out. so instead of canceling trip i guess in hopes that things would change we went on it. for the most part things with us seemed good then too. but less than a month after coming home he quit his job. he was getting up each morning like he was going to work and leaving. he had called his boss on sat and told her he quit. thurs evening he left. through all this God was telling me what he was doing but i still love him and didnt want to believe it i guess. so any ways the thing is this trip we went on was all on my cc. he has been gone for 6 months and now he is trying to force me to sell the house that i alone have been paying for i alone have been paying all the cc bills too. he thinks that he can make me sell and that he wont have to pay any of these bills cuz his name is not on them. i have always had a hard time with trusting, but he was only one i really trusted. so now i wonder if i can ever trust again. knowing that Jesus will never leave or forsake me has been my greatest comfort. i filed for divorce beginning of feb.
my favorite scripture is Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.

Had a difficult night and am dreading this day. Who knows what will happen? Thanks friends. And I hit the forward button to send the comment to my attorneys. So much for his thinking I am stupid. And I do have a covert tape recorder thing since he became extremely cruel last year.

I hope he can live with himself, and his twentyfive year old "faith oriented" woman and small child..And that when he does, and mark me he will, once again gain back the weight he yo yo's back and forth on, his 25 year old and tall and skinny gorgeous (as he'd put it) girlfriend may go fishing elsewhere.

Side note: I forwarded it to her. So she will see what may happen to her in 5 years if she doesn't run like hell now..

He is evil and out of control. I am sick and totally frightened about what to do. I am probably going to leave work early as soon as I finish my last patient. This is wearing me down. Just wearing me down. A lesser woman would've done what he suggested. And no, I will not even call him if his suv catches fire and explodes much less gets repo'd. That is his thing and I will deal with the name change on that. Sure know the judge will help me there. Am angrier and hurt more than ever. Not sure if it is the comments he made, the ones about suicide or his newest mistress or the finances that is more hurtful. But I just know at least now that I am not dealing with a normal person. And I am right. He does more than likely have the NPD. YUP.

Please keep son and I in your prayers. I am wasting my days having to deal with this man and I need a positive way out of this. I don't know what to do. HE's lost it. For sure at least I know that this is a midlife crisis thing type of reaction. I also feel sorry for his girlfriend. At 25 and already a mom of a 2 year old, she can't possibly fully understand what it is to have lived and dealt with bad people and probably doesn't really understand the first thing about my x. But she sure can twist it all up and sleep around with him and have her child in the next room sleeping in my son's old crib. I would'nt have known what to do if I had gotten pregnant in my early twenties...But one thing's for sure, if I had, the daddy would have definitely not have been Darth.

I feel like writing a telll all book called, "I Married A Sperm Donor" because that is all he is to me now.

Peachy, that you can still keep your incredible sense of humor through all this is amazing!!

You are a remarkable person - sorry he is such an A$$ - and that's an insult to the poor donkey... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thoughts and prayers with you!