I have not posted for awhile. He filed - I wanted to try - he has refused to speak to me since Sept., when I discovered the affair. I feel helpless at times, wishing he would of felt our marriage was worth saving. I was willing. I know I am not to blame, but still difficult to accept this outcome. It was so sudden, and he totally abandened me. No explanation of his needs, my needs, nothing. I think that may be the most difficult part of acceptance. There has not seemed to be a second chance for our marriage. I know I can go on, but I also know it will take quite some time for me. My love for him is too strong, even though I have been hurt so badly. Thanks for letting me vent.

Rose

(((Rose))))
I feel your pain. My H and I have been separated since 8/27/03 when he decided that he wanted the MOW. He left me hanging with a new house and and credit card debt. I had been hoping against hope that he would come out of the fog. I finally made contact with MOW's H who has been working out of state. He stated that he had already filed and wants out of his marriage. My H learned of the contact and decided to file on of all days, Valentine's Day. I had a pity party all day yesterday but now I ready to move forward with life. I will be praying for you. Rhonda

Rosey - this is the hardest part of your life. Your H is out of control with his heart. This hurts tremendously. And you feel betrayed, and unloved. All of this is normal. Allof this is 100% true feelings.

There is not much to tell you. Just be a good person to yourself. I was told this too. And I tried, but it wouldn't come. Now I am doing for myself, and I will tell you, it feels good.

I filed against my husband. And it was for reasons of I had enough of being belittled, told I was nuts, the injury he caused to my shoulder was the final straw. I love my husband, but not who he is now. And this is sincere feelings.

I know I will be okay. I know I am loved. God loves me, and I know that God sees me as a special person. My kids love me, and I know that my kids see me as a special mother.

The feelings you are feeling are so strong, and so hard to deal with. God be wtih you, and take a break and take a hot long bath. Take time for yourself, and indulge yourself in a nice hot bubble bath with bubbles, and candles. Treat yourself special. Bye for now.

I’m really sorry for what you are going through. A similar thing happened to my sister-in-law. He just up and left one day for another woman. I don’t have much advice but know you can get through it – there’s always a way out. Look after your heart and let us know how you are doing.
sp

(((((((((((Rosey))))))))))))

Your broken heart has plenty of company here. But we do pick up the pieces, and slowly, one step at a time, get back on life's track. I know exactly how you feel. In August of 02, my WH recomitted in what I believed was a 110% effort to me and our marriage. He left the OW behind, and I got jewelery, flowers, cards - it was like a second honeymoon, with a lot of healing going on. It was hard for both of us, but we were doing well....I thought.

Less than 2 weeks after our oldest daughter returned from her honeymoon, he told me he had no feelings for me anymore, nothing left to give, and walked out. Period. He has as little contact with me as he possibly can, although lately he has tried to communicate a bit more, mainly about asset division issues. He would not address any issues he had with our marriage and would not consider any type of reconcilation. I was totally devistated. 3 months later I feel that I am doing better, still have bad, sad days, but I'm not constantly crying and thinking about him.

Anger is starting to set in and I am dealing more with that. I read your post and I just wanted you to know that I know only to well the pain you are enduring. It is overwhelming some days. Please tie a knot, hold on and get through one day, if need be, one hour at a time. Be strong in front of him. It does make a difference to them. And take care of you. You have to. Make yourself the number one priority. It's hard, it's not something you may be inclined to do, but you have to. Take care.

Thanks to all replies; It is the hardest thing to go through, I believe. I know time will heal some of the heart. I know this is his lost; he gave up a good thing. It could of worked, but he is unwilling to try. I believe it's just easier for him to pretend I did not exist. It's sad really, that he feels he must go this route. Thanks again - I'm ok