It's been well over a year since I last posted-and haven't had the courage or energy to reconnect as the pain/betrayal of my estranged husband only went from bad to worse. Our seperation for the past year has been a heart wrenching brutal painful experince. Since he used marriage builders and our counceling sessions with Dr. Harley as tools to further empower himself to continue having more affairs than he was having in the marriage and as an opportunity to hone on his seduction skills.
I don't know what I would have done without Dr. Harley support as my husband did a good song and dance of innocence and deceived us in to thinking he wasn't having affairs. Discovering during our marriage he was having an ea with a sleezy neighbor of ours, which re-triggered old wounds from his other old affairs years ago which never got healed. Resulting in my seeking help. Counseling sessions helped me to discover another affair he was secretly having with yet another woman,from his work place which he tried to cover his tracks with and continued to posture his innocence.
The insanity of living with him through his deceits, betrayals and crazymaking was painful enough when he choose to get sick in the mind and extremely scary resulting in my having to leave the home for my safety to a woman shelter.
It seemed the pressures of juggling several women at once was catching up to him and my discovery outraged him further of how dare I take a stand. It appeared he had plans to possibly cause harm, lied to all everyone and looked like he was trying to move the woman in to our home. Making the situation appear that he was deserted husband/father. The exposure shone a great deal of light on his intentions/suspious motives which had him go into deeper denial and lies to everyone about his involvements. A month later my son's friend discovered him on a ski trip with a much younger woman we didn't know about until I had hired PI when I caught him standing in front of her home from a ski trip they had been secretly doing on the weekends for months when he had said he needed space.
Since then I learned in addition to this young woman a few months later he started yet another affair with this time with one of his cousins and has two young kids. He was withholding a great deal of monies from the children/I so he could take them on extravgant vacations and spending wads of monies on these women dinners/bars, adventure entertainment especially with his new skills complimentary of marriage builders. But rather abused the information to enchance his own selfishness/perversions.
Sick part was when he moved out after my requesting he leave our home when I caught him with the ow. He moved to his father home, my friends discovered him with his cousin/kids while the two of them were madly flirting with each other. Sadly I also found out his father was santioning their affair when she would come for visit so they could carry on their illicit encounters. The entire ordeal has been pathetic and his family have also condoning thier union and deserted our kids because they won't condone their father's sick and perverse relationship.
Our seperation has now run it's course over one year as he has refused to cooperate and comply with my request to settle/divorce as his pursuits/conquests and party lifestyle have been his prime priority. Discovered yet several other younger women he is having affairs with apart from his cousin. He proudly flaunts their photos and sex notes of thier intimate encounters throughout his new bachelor playboy pad his other playboy brother subleted to him so he could have more freedom and place to bring all his women.
The sad part is he has been lying about all his involvements with these women to our children all year long with the recent exception of his cousin that he is proudly admitting to them of his adultery with her in the summer and using his friends to coerce our kids to accept him as a respectable father with his girlfriends.
He seems quite proud of himself lately and takes immense pleasure in boasting to our son of how proud he is of his having his variety and share of women. The sad part his family members have helped him to go overseas where he can continue his affairs and romping. Sick lot!
I am so looking forward to his return and to get the divorce over with as the man has truly lost all moorings. Insanely enough he still professes to be a God believing Christian and tries to keep up his wholesome dad image. The whole situation is most appalling. One would think after being caught the man would have an a shred of conscience. The saddest part about the entire situation he is a pathetically sick anti role model to our kids and left with a devastating legacy of trechery and lechery.
My heart is shattered for my children to see their pain as he has tossed them aside and destroyed all our lives. One would think since he had instigated my taking action and my compliance of giving him a divorce ASAP, that he would want to settle things quickly so that he can pursue his polyamourous lifestyle in comfort. I feel so angry that he choses to be so cruel,destructive and has used us the way he has.
The nightmares, traumas he has caused is so senseless. I hope in time I will never ever have to see this person again. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I don't think I have ever met a more cruel/sadistic person in my life.
It's hard to move on with our lives as he still belives he's in control and belives the he is entitled.
Frustration!
I
