I have finally come to the point where I have told my H that i think its time he goes off and deals with his jelousy. I want to tell him to go somewhere else when I get home. I can't take it anymore - it is tearing me up inside but there is nothing I can do. <BR>After new years eve, my H got all jelous (again) b/c of his best friend and I joking around, I didn't even remember what he was talking about that is how insignificant it was. I have racked my brain trying to remember what was said. My H doesn't even know exactly what we said - my H tells me that his friend said "Maybe this is the year?(then my H thinking that means this is the year we will get together) and then something else he wasn't clear on and that his friends tone was one that he wanted to "get in my pants". I thought about it all last night and what I remember from the conversation is his friend saying "So, its a new year eh? I like your dress, is it leather? It looks like leather, he said something else I don't even know what and I was joking back saying ya, just call me leather tuxedero ha ha. I have tried to tell my H this, he totally does not believe me, he thinks that it was a totally sexual conversation and that I was encouraging his friend. <BR>I just can't take his jelousy anymore, It has drove such a wedge between us and I don't want it. He won't admit that he has any jelous feelings, he just turns it around on me saying I am acting innapropriately and that I am making him think that way. What do I do? He then brings up when I was in a state of withdrawl a couple of years ago - which was due to him being so verbally abusive and him breaking my heart so much that I had no choice but to withdraw so my heart wouldn't crack into a million pieces! <BR>I don't know what to do anymore, I can't take another jelous remark from him, I can't take accusations of doing things I'm not doing. He left me at the new years dance that night and when i got home and asked what was wrong he said I was being a whore - he first denied saying it the next day and then said well I'm sorry - but he didn't mean it! He thinks he can accuse me of absoloutely doing horrible things, call me something like that and thinks I can just let it go and realize he didn't mean it. I can't! Its like a dagger stabbed through my heart when he says things like that.Especially when I have no intention of being with anybody else <BR>The sad thing is that I know I am capable of loving someone so completely and he has pushed that away and drove a wedge between us. I feel I have no alternative but to seperate.

Sorry it took so long for someone to answer. I have been dealing with my own mess for a little while, and haven't been on.<BR>I wish I could see a few alternative for you,<BR>but I'm wondering if you have tried to suggest counselling etc. It sounds like he is very insecure personally (my opinion) and<BR>you said he has been verbally abusive in the past. Have you checked into going to some counselling yourself??<BR>I hope you can feel free to come here whenever you need a willing ear.<BR>Keep in touch,<BR>Jessica

I also just recently asked my husband to leave the home for a while, It has been very hard but it also has been very good in my healing process I love him very much but I dont trust myself around him, I continue to reach out to him and continue to get rejected. somedays are harder than others and some just dont make any sence.. you can write me at my email address if you want or i will continue to check the boards. Megansmomm@yahoo.com .. Hang tough ..