I am divorced. Not sure we should have, it was a long story and a mess. We probably needed better counseling, maybe even a true seperation, I'm not sure. Anyhow, I miss him. He lives with a woman 8 yrs his senior, has since we parted. I was living w/a man, largely because I couldn't support the kids on my own. We did get married so my children and I could get on his insurance at work. We were trying very hard to be a family. We've had many downs in our short time together. I've NEVER stopped loving my husband of 24 yrs. We still talk over the children, and get along just fine. I MISS HIM. I know I'm remarried....but it's not a life or love. I am in a mess I realize - haven't said boo to anyone as I don't know what I'd say or how I'd explain it! If wishes were granted, I would want to talk with my former husband about how he feels, is he happy, etc...would he want to get back together in time? I need some advice. I wasn't sure where to post, so here I am. I feel like I want to go "HOME".....is this possible or just wishful thinking? Thanks for all viewpoints - I am truly confusilated!

Confusilated:

I'm sorry for the mess you find yourself in.

I'm also sorry to say I don't have a clue how to help you. How old are your children? How are they handling all this?

Please keep reading here....read the concepts pages, and try to clear your head, to understand how you've gotten to this point.

Just know that someone is here, and has heard your cry for help. I can pray for you. I hope that is not offensive to you.

I just do not know how to advise you. I'm so sorry for all your pain.

May God Bless you.

Thank you, Lupolady for responding. I'm open to all thoughts and ideas. We have one child left at home, almost 16, very involved at school. My older daughter is 20 and a jr. in college. My 16 y/o said that she could see I married current hubby for wrong reasons, and it makes her feel bad what I did to protect them. I have NOT approached first husband, and attempting to have a strong conversation w/my current hubby doesn't go anywhere. I know that this isn't where or how I wish to be, and not sure how to get to where I wish to go. Been praying for direction for a year.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by confusilated:
<strong> I have NOT approached first husband, and attempting to have a strong conversation w/my current hubby doesn't go anywhere. I know that this isn't where or how I wish to be, and not sure how to get to where I wish to go. Been praying for direction for a year.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hello, confused,

Well, as I said, I really don't have any great ideas for you. Since this is a Marriage BUilders site, I guess the conventional wisdom would tell you to try to make this current marriage work.

I honestly don't know that that's what God wants you to do. I can't really know what God's plan is for you. I have enough trouble keeping myself straight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think it's a good thing that you haven't contacted your ex'H. If that is to be, it's got to start with him (ex-H), so you need to concentrate on YOU at this point, and see what might be possible in the current situation you are in rather than thinking about what might have been with ex-H.

As far as talking to your H about what is wrong with your Relationship, maybe the way to go is just do what YOU need to do, and let him see changes in YOU, and that might lead him to make changes in HIM?

What do you think?

I'm sorry for all this mess. I realize what you really want is to be "home" with your ex-H, but at this point in time, that's not possible. However, I truly believe that God can fix this! IF what He wants is YOU and ex-H back together again, he can arrange it! You won't have to do anything to make it happen. God can make it happen.

Isn't that good news? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Well, according to God's Word, He only works in our lives to make the crooked paths straight if we are obedient to Him.

Soooo, confusi, try to do what is RIGHT for your M right now. As long as you are doing what is right and good and pure, GOD can work all things in your life work together for GOOD.

I hope this gives you some peace.

God Bless,