Is there a place to find information regarding the pros/cons of this?

What are your feelings about it?

There are all kinds of studies on this that contridict each other. Personally, I believe that it is ideal for a child to grow up in a functioning two parent home. NOW when that is not possible you have to take a serious look at the life lessons you'll teach you child by staying vs going.

Will the child grow up seeing one parent constantly bad mouthing the other?

Will the child grow up seeing physical, emotional, or verbal abuse?

Will the child grow up never seeing conflict resolution?

Will the child grow up watching alcohol or drug abuse?

Will the child grow up seeing immorallity?

I, personally think, that if the answer is yes to any of these then the child is more than likely worse off in the two parent home. And the lessons that they are learning at home are lessons that they are going to continue.

That being said;

Will the child grow up in a loving two parent home, free from abuse of any kind, where he/she is taught healthy conflict resolution skills? Obviously, the answer there is that is definately better.

Then you have to take the parent angle. If one parent is so unhappy in the relationship, then they are going to show that in how the deal with the family. In a single parent situation they may be able to be a much better parent.

Hope that helps a little bit....

I agree with Bill completely. My stbx H was wanting us to remain together until our daughter went to college (she is 6 now). The problem is I was so unhappy that I could not do this and filed for divorce. Now he is badmouthing me to the kid saying that I am the one breaking up our family.
ruby

There are books out there discussing the pros and cons of divorce with kids. As for myself, my kids are older, my husband wants the divorce. Which we will be finalizing within the month. My kids are being hurt by this divorce deeply. Recently, one of the kids expressed the hurt, the distrust in marriage, one partner changes their mind in marriage, the lies, the deceit. There is so much pain in divorce, and the older children are affected more, because they have had a unity of family for so long.

Have you two tried counseling, or a group session? There are other routes to take. Don't deny the results of divorce, it is going to affect your children. You both came together with love, the love is there, and it can come back. It is going to be work, love, patience, guidance and Gods will. Good luck.