Hey Caj,

Just wanted to let you know you and your wife are lifted up this whole week.

Tha enemy wouldn't be putting in overtime on her if progress wasn't being made. Stand firm and and know that HE IS GOD!

Love in Christ

S&C

lupo,

Great story,thanks for sharing. I have found that when say I don't want to do something, that is what God makes me do. Of course, it is never as bad as I thougth it was going to be.

Cajunky,

Satan is working over time on your wife and this can be a good thing. It means God is working on her and she is doubting what she is doing with this OM. Keep believeing. I know how you feel about the drinking. We use to drink too much to escape also. After my husband left, I would have maybe a glass of wine every now and then. Mostly I would drink if I went out to eat with my husband. His drinking increased and I really started praying about it. God showed me that if I was praying for my husband to stop drinking then I need to stop drinking also especially in front of him. I am not against drinking and I am not preaching to you. I am just telling you what God had me do. I have decided not to drink at all until my husband totally gives his heart to the Lord and he comes home. It is just part of my stand and an example. He is starting to do both things, he is giving his heart more to the Lord and he is drinking much less.Praise God.

You are doing a great job with your stand, keep it up.You are a good example of what the Lord can do in someone.

In Christ,
gentle

<small>[ March 10, 2003, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: gentle ]</small>

Thanks guys/gals.....I know satan is really working on her right now. Putting all sorts of thoughts in her head. Making her think that nothing can fix our family. But I also know God is talking to her real heavy too. I just want her to listen to God and be obedient. I know if she went to church and tried to get the relationship with God back that she would see how she has let God slip out of her life. I pray for her every day that God will talk to her and work behind the scenes to restore our marriage. I just never pictured her not trying everything possible to save our family.

I went back and read the perseverence post I made at the beginning of this thread and it gave me new hope because in scripture it says that God will restore our nations if we are obedient.

Lupo.....I had a dream Sat. nite that woke me up. I dreamed my "former" wife was engaged. It was so weird because I woke up in a such a panic and sat straight up.

I was feeling down sunday until church when our pastor preached from Ephesians 6:14.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He said the word STAND is God telling us about a soldier that doesn't picture an invasion of a mighty army but it is ONE soldier refusing to give up. He said the word Truth is the soldier getting in the defensive mode instead of the offensive mode. He is going to let God win the battle. He said the word righteousness signifies the soldiers character and that is what is God is going to to use to win the battle.

I just thought of this but in scripture it says perseverance builds character so we are going to win this battle if we let God fight it.

When he was preaching I immediately thought of myself and everyone here and how we are one soldier refusing to give up. We are totally relying on God to win this battle.

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

cajunky, I'm praying for you and for your former wife as I pray for all of us and our former or seemingly-soon-to-be-former spouses.

lupo's story gave a beautiful example of how we don't need to worry about what God has in store for us, or whether God will get it right. Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is good today, especially if I stay focused right here in the present.

My prayer request for this week that WH (and all the other addicted WS's) be very close to hitting their bottom and ready to receive the healing love of Christ.

This weekend at a community church dinner, an ex alcoholic drug addict sang some beautifull songs. I was very touched. The following night, I was invited over to a neighbor's house to hear him sing again. It was there that I got information on his ministry and was blown away. It's called Our Fathers Arms. Bob McLoud is the singer and head of this ministry. They provide a place for the addicted to get away if needed and just be a friend to start with. They pray for and with the person and help them to heal. They also work with other Christian based residential programs. There is an excellent one near my home.

With the letter that I got and the feelings I have right now, I think WH may be hitting a bottom. I'm going to give him Bob McLoud's information to call as I don't want WH home as he is right now. Someone else has to minister to him, not me.

For anyone wanting information on this ministry - Link to Our Fathers Arms part of the Broken Stone Ministries

God Bless,

D.

The A,B,C's of Standing

G - Go to church. Find a local body of believers where you can grow and derve the Lord. Each of us are given spiritual gifts. What are yours? Use your spiritual gifts where you go to church and help others. (This is where you can invest your tithe into God's work). Marriage ministries will give you support, but they should not replace the local church.

1 Corinthians 12:24-27
Malachi 3: 8-12

H- Pray that you will be filled with the Holy Spirit including your spouse, your children, your loved ones and any other prodigals. We need the Holy Spirit to have power form on high as Jesus instructed His disciples.

John 14:25-26
John 16:8, 13
Acts 1: 4-5, 7-8
Acts 2:38-39

Love in Christ
cajunky

I have been experiencing technical difficulties, but I am back on the air....

Caj, sorry to hear of the difficulties with your wife. i will pray for you and for all here.

Thanks,
Andy

From "Experiencing God Day by Day" by Henry Blackaby.

Testing Reveals Your Heart

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 And you shall remember that the Lord you God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. So He humbles you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> God allows us to suffer difficulties and hardships for a purpose. God led the children of Israel to wander through the wilderness for forty years in order to humble then and test them. When they refused to obey Him and enter the Promised Land, the Isralites revealed that they did not really know Him. If they had, they would have had more faith. God spent the next forty years testing the hearts of His people to see if they were prepared for His next assignment.

Testing reveals what is in your heart and produces a robust faith(James 1:3,12). God allowed His people to hunger so that they could experience His provision and develop a deeper level of trust in Him. As the people walked with God they came to understand that their lives depended upon His Word. They learned that God's Word was the most important thing that they had. After depending on God for fourty years while living in the desert, the people listened when God spoke, and they believed. When they finally entered the Promised Land and waged war against their enemies, the israelites knew that God's word meant life and death. They were prepared to listen to Him, and as a result He led them to an astounding victory.

Is God presently testing you in some area of your life? What has his testing revealed? Have you become bitter toward God because of where he has led you? Or have you come to trust Him more as a result of what you have gone through?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Remember to pray for your marriages as well as everyone elses.

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 11:17 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Hey gang,

My wife just told me this morning that OM was approached to update his resume for the managers position of their dept. Struggling with whether or not to tell their supervisor. It could end my wife's career there (as well as his of course). What would that accomplish? I'm sure it would be a very big LB and set us back very far.

Pray for clarity for me. To help me do the right thing, even though she may not. Ask God to help me see his plan, because I don't right now. I thought he would be transfering, but not now. No reason too. He will have power over her to hurt or help her. I want God's peace for me and my W while He works out his plan.

Thank you every one.

Love in Christ.

S&C

Hi everyone-
Just thought I'd let y'all know, since it's Wednesday, that I just printed out the list of names cajunky posted and I'm taking it w/ me to the prayer service tonite at church. I'll be praying for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
-Janna

Mediation day is friday. Mom had a stroke last friday. I am really hurt and saddened right now.

StbxH is living with OW2 and her two year old son and although he denies it, it is going on and in front of my son during his visitation with him.

He owes us over five thousand dollars and I was forced to have to file a contempt charge against him. Was in court on valentines day to force him to legally sign the agreement of last summer our attorneys agreed upon. He just never got around to signing it.

I feel so broken. I have given this to God many months ago but still am feeling more down than ever now as signing day looms.

He told me today that he "still has his family and that is his parents, other family members and son. That I am not and was not part of the family..." It hurt so badly.

Please pray hard for us. He is nowhere near rock bottom and I have basically given up on this marriage. I know only God can change him now.

I have been crying all evening. Please pray for us. I don't honestly see any hope left at all for this family unless it is just for son and I starting anew together. But we are doing that part ok... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Steadfast.....Hey buddy......How are you doing? I thought about your situation and I want to start out by saying WWJD (What Would Jesus Do). I know how you feel and in your mind it may seem like the right thing to do but I think you would be doing it out of revenge. Wanting to get revenge for this guy seeing your wife and for the possibilities of what could happen. I looked up the word "Revenge" in my Bible and came up with this scripture.

1 Peter 3:9-12 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. " Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

I just think that it would be for the wrong reasons. I have a suggestion that I believe will be a lot better. Get your wife and sit down with her and just tell her your concerns and be honest with her. Talking it out with her will show her that you want to be open with your feelings and it would let her know that you are concerned. Then take her hand and pray with her about it. Ask God to take away any concerns that you have and to just put a hedge of protection over your wife and your marriage. Then look her in the eye and tell her you love her.

We will let God take care of the other guy. I firmly believe if you Pray with your wife and for your wife that God will bless your marriage more than you can imagine.

That is my 2 cents worth. I pray that I was of some help and comfort to you. I know it is scary but we have to trust God that he will take care of our needs.

Peachy......I am praying so hard for you. I know it is hard seeing your husband like this knowing if he would snap out of it you could have your old family back. I pray all the time that God will show your husband what he is doing to your family and bring him back. I agree with you when you said he hasn't hit rock bottom yet. Believe me when he does it will shake him up like you have never seen and he will be able to choose between two roads and I pray he will choose the right one and put his family back again. If he chooses the right one, God will bless you guys beyond your wildest dreams.

Love in Christ

cajunky

<small>[ March 12, 2003, 11:10 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Please pray for my brother and his daughter, my niece that went through the bad time in January.
They have been evicted from their home, due to a bad judical system and a very uncaring judge.
They have to be out by the 21st of March, and was only notified last week. So far he has found nothing. Please pray for God's intervention here. My brother is really bitter towards God, I dare not even let him know I'm praying for him. I'm sure he already knows that, but it makes him mad. I ask you to pray for him to reach out to the Lord, and that the Lord will direct him to a perfect place. I can't imagine him being booted out, this is really hard on them. His wife is in a convelesant home, she has MS, he makes very little $ and although he works, he won't be able to afford much. Thankyou for your prayers,
you are all in mine! God Bless, SW

Thanks Cajunky. Sorry to hear about engagement again. Stbx IM's me last night after posting and adamantly exclaims that he is NOT LIVING WITH OW. But I know differently. My son tells me that she is there before bedtime and at breakfast the next day. And that the child, age two and seeing this junk also, sleepwalks. How would my son know that? Plus son says he sleeps in his bunk bed with my son. Makes me sick.

He is really lost. I also believe he has NPD. He is sooo high on himself. He came by about thirty minutes ago to pick up our son for his visitation. I am off from work today doing what is needed around house and to gear up for tomorrow's mediation. I am gonna pray alot for peace.

So there stbx was at door and as I open it to get son (son was sleepy) he, stbx walks right in and plays with the dog. Says that he'd love to have dog visit him too when I go out of town. He is all smiles and is not wearing work clothes. He owns his own company and can take off whenever HE decides to unlike me who has to work with patients and conform to their schedules. It is all about him. Son really did not want to go. I asked stbx if he would take him to McDonald's (son loves it in the morning sometimes) and he said he would take him there. He is our son's playmate. And when it suits him. Not a dad. Not really there for his son.

I didn't really look at him. I can't and do not want to. This d is going through I know. He is so lost and maybe suffering from some kind of disorder as I firmly see now. But he's exhausted me of almost all of my love and charity now. He is just a person. It hurts. But funny, he started wearing his usually spiky hair different (I used to tell him to change his hair) and he doesn't look as much like the other man I knew. It is easier when he looks different. He is really attractive but when I see him now, all I can see is the hurt, the lies, the abuse, and the denial of it all from him.

I am exhausted. I am going to take a little nap in a bit. I am scared and very hurting about tomorrow. This is going through. It has to. He has no remorse and is even further down the road with regard to his bad moral decisions. When he IM'd me, he kept saying how I should "just look at him and think he is a good dad now and for me to be happy and start dating." I replied that good dads or moms don't do this kind of thing. And that I only wanted contact (personal and talking) when he was able to stand accountable for his actions to his family. I said good parents can stand accountable to their families. He then said this other foggy statement: "I just don't see how it is that YOU (he believes that it was ME who "forced" him to cheat, lie and be abusive...just more fog and denial)have changed..And I just don't want to know you (talking about me via IM)the way you are." What poo. Back a year and a half ago during PLAN A, I worked on me. Must be remembering that. But I've been in B for over a year now. Hmmm. Very strange memories for him. But the WS believe it is and should be all for their happiness i guess. So I replied via IM that "should you ever took the time getting to know me after those changes (very small ones mind you and not any reason anyone would want a divorce--he just wanted excuses why he was cheating)YOU WOULD HAVE TO ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WRONG...WRONG ABOUT THE AFFAIRS, THE LIES, AND ABOUT ME. Maybe one day you can when you find God again, but until that day no I don't believe it will happen.

Satan is something else. The way he decieves and makes people think that their own happiness is paramount to their children, their spouses, their faith. That if a marriage has hit either a comfortable place (after a few years) or there are stressors or no "challenge" because you've gotten the other person, then you have the right to be happy at all costs. And that the kids will be fine with it all. And if we love our WS, we should be happy too in helping them leave their families.

At the end of the IM session, he says to me, "can't you just be happy for me and see how much better it is for me now? If you'd just accept it (compromise my value system) and then you'd be happy too." Made me nauseous. I said in the end that "I am happy with my son. I will learn to move ahead and be happy also. I don't need anyone to make me happy anymore. I have my happiness and have found it".

And I put up a new garden flag by the front door on the path to the door. It is an Easter cross. He had to pass by it on the way to my front door. He had to pass it on the way leaving. My neighbor was in my yard (heck I don't care the dog is small and we are friends anyway) pooing and she says as Darth is leaving with son out the door "hey J, like the new flag. Great for lent."

And he walked away. I wonder if when they run from God if it hurts to see reminders of Him?

I am hurt but God has given me a special refuge now. I don't need a man. But I will after the divorce and being separated for a year and a half like a date. I love being a mom so much that somehow I hope one day to be blessed by more children but only if it is right and my son comes first before any thoughts like that. I have some good friends. Money is really tight. And that is scary. He is in contempt of court and the order signed on feb. 14. He doesn't believe anything can touch him. And he walked by the cross two times already this morning. I may leave it there permanently so he has to every time he goes to get his son.

I honestly believe it is too late and that God wants me and son to move on. I cannot look back any more. Too much has happened. Feel emotionally like I am on the edge of the cliff ready to bungee jump off. I know I will bounce back up, but the leap is scary and I don't know how long it will be until I bounce upward. Only God knows. I hate divorce. God does too. It is awful and a last resort. Thank you for your prayers.

VERY INTERESTING WH Just called me about someone that may buy the business!!!!!An employee wanted to buy it, but it fell thru so we thought we were going to have to liquidate it. We owe a GREAT deal of money on this disaster.

WH said that the guy that is interested is a real "strong born again Christian." This all has happened in the last 2 days ! The Christian man told WH that the Lord was watching over him. And it was the Lord that brought him to WH. WH replied that he didn't know but whatever works.

As soon as I heard the part about the 2 days and that the man was a strong Christian and God had sent him, Chills went down my spine because ...... 2 days ago I was in touch with Broken Stone Ministries - Our Fathers Arms who help alcholics / addicts and he started to pray for WH. WOW God is Good. The man (From the Ministry) is an X-addict himself and I had such a good feeling when I met him this past weekend. It was no accident that God brought us together. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God Bless,

D.

<small>[ March 13, 2003, 02:29 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>