Here goes:<P>The other night, two dreams.<P>In one, I find a bottle of French perfume and open the top. I breathe deeply in to savor the fragrance, which changes partway through from one type to another intoxicating one which makes me feel very happy. I don't recognize the smell.<P>By the way, smells are very important to me. Scents that are popular generally disgust me and if I'm near someone wearing even an innoffensive cologne that I don't like, I go discretely to another spot in the room. On the other hand, good healthy sweat on a man is the most erotic thing I know of.<P>This wasn't erotic smelling, it was just lovely. I can't describe it. And I do smell things and even eat things in my dreams.<P>Second dream: Somehow I come into possession of the last living slave from the Civil War, and elderly man. His face is deeply lined, his skin mahogany color. There are iron cuffs around his ankles which are connected by a chain that makes it impossible for him to separate his legs very far. We are on board the Titanic. (Pretty obvious symbolism, yes I know.) <P>My first thought is I've got to get these things off him, no time to lose. I take him to a hardware store but they won't let me use the chain cutter without buying it first. I have no use for a chain cutter; this would be the only time I would use it. the clerks tell me that if I use the tool, they couldn't sell it because it would be "used" and lost its value.<P>I rush the slave to a fire station. I know they have a tool to break through chains. They cut the chain off the legs, giving the man freedom of movement, but I am still frustrated that he has the shackles on his ankles. The slaves have been freed for a century, and he is so old, I want him to be able to live free before he dies. I am very anxious, frustrated. The freedom isn't complete but I am responsible to make it so. <P>Thanks for any interpretations. <P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess<p>[This message has been edited by Bellevue (edited January 19, 2001).]

Please don't get upset. From what I have read and my opinion.<P>Someone in your life, whom is somewhat a stranger. You have some type of positive interest in.<P>Next. Old hopeless man is probably a symbol of someone in your life. However, you are too stingy to give a couple of bucks to help them out. In your dream you ran around for alternatives to set this person free. In the end you were not satisfied with what others offered to help.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bellevue:<BR><B>Here goes:<P>The other night, two dreams.<P>In one, I find a bottle of French perfume and open the top. I breathe deeply in to savor the fragrance, which changes partway through from one type to another intoxicating one which makes me feel very happy. I don't recognize the smell.<P>By the way, smells are very important to me. Scents that are popular generally disgust me and if I'm near someone wearing even an innoffensive cologne that I don't like, I go discretely to another spot in the room. On the other hand, good healthy sweat on a man is the most erotic thing I know of.<P>This wasn't erotic smelling, it was just lovely. I can't describe it. And I do smell things and even eat things in my dreams.<P>Second dream: Somehow I come into possession of the last living slave from the Civil War, and elderly man. His face is deeply lined, his skin mahogany color. There are iron cuffs around his ankles which are connected by a chain that makes it impossible for him to separate his legs very far. We are on board the Titanic. (Pretty obvious symbolism, yes I know.) <P>My first thought is I've got to get these things off him, no time to lose. I take him to a hardware store but they won't let me use the chain cutter without buying it first. I have no use for a chain cutter; this would be the only time I would use it. the clerks tell me that if I use the tool, they couldn't sell it because it would be "used" and lost its value.<P>I rush the slave to a fire station. I know they have a tool to break through chains. They cut the chain off the legs, giving the man freedom of movement, but I am still frustrated that he has the shackles on his ankles. The slaves have been freed for a century, and he is so old, I want him to be able to live free before he dies. I am very anxious, frustrated. The freedom isn't complete but I am responsible to make it so. <P>Thanks for any interpretations. <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hi, Bellevue! I don't do dream analysises (sp?), but I just wanted to say hi!<P>Miaka

Hi yuki miaka:<P>Thanks for the smile! <P>Belle

Dear VET:<P>Any opinion or insight is welcome and thank you.<P>"Someone in your life, whom is somewhat a stranger. You have some type of positive interest in." This is the perfume dreamm? If so, please explain further how smell relates to a stranger. Right now, I don't know who that would be but I'll think about it.<P>"Old hopeless man is probably a symbol of someone in your life. However, you are too stingy to give a couple of bucks to help them out. In your dream you ran around for alternatives to set this person free. In the end you were not satisfied with what others offered to help."<P>Hmm, could it be my husband, the shackles representing wedding rings, but it would cost me to "cut" them off of him? That I feel guilty for keeping him chained to me when he deserves freedom? That's all I can think of right now, I'm not sure it's right, but I will mull it over.<P>Thanks for your response.<P> <BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

OK Belle, here goes...shoot me later...I'm not going to interpret your dreams, for 2 reasons, 1-why do you have a need to know what your dreams mean? Maybe God has given you these dreams to write a book...fiction of course? 2-Enjoy your dreams...good or bad, they are interesting. Maybe oh boy here I go...just maybe they mean you should stop and smell the roses and stop caging yourself or your hubby. Life is too short and long to concern yourself with dreams, unless they involve your immediate family and there is danger or death. I would consider such dreams to be warnings. Anyhow....I said I wasn't going to interpret and now look what you've done to me LOL have a great day! ;-)~<P>WW

wickedwit:<BR>Stop moving! I can't hit a moving target!<BR> <P>I guess I'm looking for answers and the dreams are my messengers. Sometimes I can make sense of them and sometimes not.<P>Let me guess: You live in the moment, you're a very active, physical, present kind of person. Not given to brooding or melancholy? Able to balance checkbooks and read maps? I admire and envy those qualities very much.<P>Good, that distracted you enough that I was able to get off a shot - don't worry, it's just a flesh wound. <P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Okay, girl, I'll give this a whack, as I sometimes fancy myself a female Joseph (from the Bible) when it comes to dreams. But let me preface that by saying, not all dreams are warnings, direction, guidance, etc. Some are just a bit of bad meat on the pizza, ya know what I mean? <P>So I think trying to figure them out is okay, unless you stress out about. Dreams are very fun, and a very unknown sort of arena for most people. The important thing is to try to figure out what the symbols in the dream mean to YOU, not necessarily what the "books" say they mean.<P>So, having said all that, here goes:<P>1) Perfume Dream: The perfume is something that you know is unique, beautiful, but can also change and become something ever more beautiful and bring happiness. I think this is how you feel about yourself. I think you really do love yourself and know that inside you are a beautiful woman (even tho you H "rejected" you), but I think you are just beginning (thru all the recent crap) to realize that you are really special and beautiful and deserve to be happy too and that you are rising above the circumstances (fragrance rising) and again accepting who YOU are, not who you "should" be.<P>2) Slave Dream: You just realized that you have been given the ability to set something free before it's too late; the power is within you. Now, this could mean you H, but I don't think so. I think it's you again. You know that even tho you feel like your life (as you knew it with you H...i.e. Titantic) is dissappearing, you still have it within you to set yourself free and have happiness before you get any older. It's not too late...however, you have to "buy" into it (which is hard for you because you want/wanted your future happiness to be with your H)...you can't depend on others to do it for you....they either won't, or they'll do it wrong (ie shoppkeeper or firestation guy).<P>How's that? I'm pretty sure that's what they mean...yup....uh huh..... <P>Anyway, that's my 2 cents. <BR>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

"Some [dreams] are just a bit of bad meat on the pizza, ya know what I mean?" <P>UUUURRRRPPP!!!!! Yeah.<P>Thanks for your serious interpretations though. Fragrance is becoming very important to me, a way of having some sensuality in my life. And yes, I do feel like I would like to be desired and admired. And as to the slave, I can't figure out whether he is my H, but I hadn't thought it might be myself. (Though I feel sad thinking that there may never be romantic love in my life again. And I have thought - gee, I'm still nice looking. I could have another shot at romance, before I wither all up completely.<P>Aloha, take care.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Knowing nothing about you or your relationship makes dream interpretation more difficult, but I'll give it a shot:<P>DREAM #1: PERFUME BOTTLE<P>The perfume bottle suggests you are concerned with affairs of the heart and, more specifically, sexual receptivity and romance. You are seeking union, but a foreign influence has entered your life that has caused you to re-evaluate yourself, your attitudes, or your loved one.<P>You want to change something but, for the moment, it merely exists as a non-verbalized feeling or intuition-- you are just "breathing it all in" right now. I suspect it has something to do with overly romantic notions about love or possibly even an arrogant notion of what love should be (based solely on the fact that you mentioned the perfume was French). French, being one of the principle romantic languages, could also symbolize culture, sophistication, the rich history you share with your mate, or beauty.<P>Either way, the scent represents unfamiliar (or subconscious) attitudes or feelings that are slowly changing within you (the scent transforms but is still unknown). Noting the color or style of the bottle may bring further insight into the particular areas of your life that you are trying to address.<P>Intoxication suggests loss of control-- an abandonment to irrational feelings or natural urges, thus allowing one freedom from the burden of self-awareness, responsibility and decision making. Feeling intoxicated by a good scent may be compensatory-- an attempt to satisfy needs or feelings denied (or unavailable) to you in waking life but, as yet, are unprepared to fully accept. <P>Since you mentioned scents (unspoken feelings and responses) are important to you, perhaps you are afraid of exposing your strong feelings and desires (for love, romance, sex) because you don't know what the response will be-- or intuitively know that your expectations with this person are, for the moment, unrealistic.<P><BR>DREAM #2 - FREEING THE SLAVE<P>A more complex dream, in which the interpretation requires I assume you are a Caucasian woman, married to a non African-American, and have no strong racial prejudices:<P>You are trying to "own up" to some dark feelings that have been established and well worn within you through the course of time. Past experiences or old behaviors (perhaps subconscious ones) have made you unwilling or unprepared to relinquish control over things-- specifically in areas dealing with your sexuality. The black slave suggests you are measuring yourself against other people and feel trapped (or immobilized) by that attitude. His face represents a concern about how others see you-- the result is a dark depression (literally the "depressions" or lines on his face) in regards to your self-image. Perhaps you are simply having trouble "facing up" to the fact that you are getting older.<P>You have been involved in a battle with your mate. You feel the "war" between you should have ended a long time ago but still rages in an indirect, "civil" way, preventing you from freely expressing your sexuality with him. <P>You are searching for ways to break through emotional and sexual barriers (his or your own) but feel time is running out. You have that "sinking" feeling that the two of you are losing ground, that the relationship may end, or that you're "drowning" in conflicting emotions (the desire to break free versus dependency, for example).<P>Although you would like to move forward, you aren't feeling very confident or motivated. You feel that something is restricting you (chains), most likely strong, unbending emotions (iron) or lack of support.<P>You search your inner resources (store) for the necessary tools that might enable you to break free from either the dependency you feel or emotions and attitudes which inhibit intimate expression. Perhaps "cutting" remarks, cynicism or anger have made your mate feel castrated, like he has no control-- or perhaps you feel that he is cutting off his feelings, or fear that if he were allowed to act independently, he'd "cut you loose".<P>The fact that the tool required payment, and that you chose not to purchase it, suggests you have doubts about your personal potency; how much he values you. You feel "used" and want him to "pay the price" for his actions-- while simultaneously feeling anxious about a rapidly dying connection.<P>You realize it is important to restore vital energies to the relationship, thus taking the slave to a fire station. Fire represents our most heated emotions, burning desires, passion & sexuality. While you may be willing to ease some restrictions for the sake of the relationship, you are still unsure how much freedom to allow him. You feel responsible for the union being incomplete (perhaps unable to release him, or yourself, from guilt), which makes you anxious (fearful of reaction) and frustrated (situations that are hard to cope with).<P>Hope this helps!<BR>

TaoistGirl:<P>"Knowing nothing about you or your relationship makes dream interpretation more difficult, but I'll give it a shot:"<P>For someone who doesn't know my story, this is pretty comprehensive. Is all this based on your intuition or have you actually studied psychoanalysis? <P>DREAM #1: PERFUME BOTTLE<P>"The perfume bottle suggests you are concerned with affairs of the heart and, more specifically, sexual receptivity and romance. You are seeking union, but a foreign influence has entered your life that has caused you to re-evaluate yourself, your attitudes, or your loved one."<P>Those who know my story know that my reason for coming here is my H's EA. And yes I no longer view my H as my hero. Affairs, even if not consummated, take a toll on a marriage. <P>yes, I have wanted to change the marriage. Wanted to reintroduce romance and sensuality. Want to be held and kissed at the very least. Want to be mutually in love with my H. And struggling with his recent statement "No, we will never be lovoers again". Tapped out, fed up, hopeless.<P>French = arrogance? Hmmm. Must think about that. Not throwing it out, there may be something to it. It didn't make much sense to me at the time I dreamt it.<P>"Noting the color or style of the bottle may bring further insight into the particular areas of your life that you are trying to address." <P>Clear glass, the top resembles the German cologne #4711, old-fashioned, lemon and rosemary scent. The lower part resembles Joy by Patou. Top: Tradition, sentimentality, romantic. Bottom: Wealth, my mother, an "intoxicating" but not toxic fragrance. <P>Must sign off now to help S w/homework. Will return later. And thanks again Taoistgirl.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

Belle,<P>"For someone who doesn't know my story, this is pretty comprehensive. Is all this based on your intuition or have you actually studied psychoanalysis?"<P>I have no background in psychoanalysis, just an active interest in dreams and their symbolism. I've studied them for years. No intuition involved, except the one telling me that the majority of people posting to this site are dealing with the issue of infidelity. Maybe, also, looking at the phrasing people use to describe their dreams.<P>Like you, I am here because my mate had an affair-- and like you, it appears, struggling with his inability to relate to me on a romantic and/or sexual level anymore. If I may ask, what does "even if not consummated" mean? I ask because my partner had a 3-year affair with a woman wherein they never had intercourse (they performed all sorts of sexual acts, but he withheld that particular one). I believe his affair had more to do with control than sex but, whatever the motivation, he has come to idealize her and, in turn, devalue and deny me. After 19 months of trying to reconnect in some meaningful way, I gave up and we are now separated. The experience has left me feeling "tapped out, fed up, and hopeless", not to mention pretty ugly and unlovable, so I understand deeply where you're coming from.<P>Sorry if the word "arrogant" offended you. Fairly or not, the French are perceived by many as culturally arrogant-- kind of vain about the beauty of their country and its historical value. Perhaps "French" has a totally different meaning for you. Maybe you associate it with Paris, the city of love.<P>As far as the additional dream information you provided: Glass represents a reflection of who we are or think we are. It can also symbolize the invisible, yet tangible barriers we erect or feel around others. Seeing something as two separate but equal parts in a dream-- top and bottom, in this case-- suggests opposing attitudes or viewpoints that you seek to unite. The top (intellectual realm; consciousness) may be telling you one thing about yourself or your situation while the bottom (subconscious drives and motivations) gives an opposing or balancing point of view.<P>I confess to know nothing about perfume or its importance to you, except to mention that perfume is worn to seduce people. If you associate the top part of the bottle with "tradition, sentimentality, and romanticism" perhaps these are the ways you view yourself or intellectually perceive love should be. Associating the bottom part with the words "wealth, mother, intoxication" may be telling you something about hidden motivations for staying in the marriage. Do you feel financially dependent in the relationship or feel like you've taken on too much of a mother role with your spouse? Are you the type of person who feels intoxicated by love, or emotionally out of control? Maybe you think you've been acting too sour (lemon) or sedate (rosemary) and just want to feel the pure Joy (by Patou) of a loving, physically intimate relationship again.<P>As with all dreams, the idea is to explore what the symbols personally mean to you-- and to try and be as honest as possible in evaluating the emotions and concepts associated with them. They can be great "teaching tools" in our quest toward self-awareness if we allow the time (and courage) to really read them. <P>Thank you for sharing your dreams, Belle. They inspired me to think about my own.<P>Very best wishes to you,<P>TaoistGirl<BR>

TaoistGirl:<P>"If I may ask, what does "even if not consummated" mean?'<P>Consumated meaning actual old fashioned intercourse up to ejaculation and climax. People are having cyber and phone sex, or just kissing, or just fondling and kissing, or just oral sex, or sex of some other type, and not calling it an "affair'"<P>In our case, (not exactly like yours) my H had put an enormous amount of time and energy into his BestFriend at the expense of our marriage and our intimacy. He's an extremely "heady" type of guy, very quiet and intellectual. His "light reading" includes the complete works of Shakespeare, the Ariel and Will Bryant history of the world, that sort of thing. <P>He worships from afar, is an expert in unrequited love. And though I truly believe there has probably been no physical messing around, as the affair went on he detatched to the point where he is now less attracted to me than the first day we met.<P>Affairs aren't always about the sex. You understand because of your experience:<P>"I ask because my partner had a 3-year affair with a woman wherein they never had intercourse (they performed all sorts of sexual acts, but he withheld that particular one). I believe his affair had more to do with control than sex but, whatever the motivation, he has come to idealize her and, in turn, devalue and deny me. After 19 months of trying to reconnect in some meaningful way, I gave up and we are now separated. The experience has left me feeling "tapped out, fed up, and hopeless", not to mention pretty ugly and unlovable, so I understand deeply where you're coming from."<P>Completely empathize. I feel ugly unattractive and unlovable, in spite of seeing recent snapshots of myself which startle me. I am not ugly at all!<P>Arrogant doesn't offend me as you used it. I grinned. It is true, about the French. It is also true, about cats. My reaction to either is amusement, I enjoy watching them.<P>Arrogant in my husband is another ball of wax, however.<P>And now I'm late (again)<P>Thank heavens for this site and for the people who post here. I love all the differnet points of view, from the purely pragmatic to the naval contemplating. They are all food for thought. I love the way people help each other on these Board.s<P>Belle <P><p>[This message has been edited by Bellevue (edited February 12, 2001).]

Just wanted to thank everyone who took the time and thoughtfulness to analyze my dream. I copied all your responses onto a Word document and printed it out and re-read them. <P>Maybe I'm doing too much navel contemplating, who knows. I sure can't share these two dreams with my everyday friends, without sharing the mess our marriage has become. <P>When my marriage started to unravel, for the first time in my life I didn't act impulsively and shoot from the hip. I had to stop and think of the ramifications of any action or laziness I did. I'm still unsure what to do except to continue the marriage counseling, work on myself, and pray.<P>Thanks everyone.<P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess