OK I know that it has almost been a year - but finally I stuck to my guns and had him take everything from my house - it is all gone - except for some miscellaneous trash that is frozen to the ground outside - and you know what it wasn't all that bad.... I actually talked to him a little bit - I think it was easy because he wasn't drunk - and I was thinking ok I am finally gonna get the closure that I so desperately need because his stuff is gone... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> - He said he wasn't going to go in my house and take anything - he asked if he could use my bathroom - and I actually left him here alone a couple of times to take the girls shopping and stuff - but all my stuff is still here - He told me a little about his supposed new girlfriend - about how he doesn't think she is gonna be around very much longer and how he doesn't really think the dating thing is for him... Then he said something a little out of the ordinary - Like hey why don't I just take all of the stuff off the truck and move it back in and come home - I don't really think he was serious - but my first reaction was - no way - I don't trust you - and he was like see I told you - you would never trust me... And I actually told him that wasn't true but not to start playing with my head again... And actually I have been calm all day - I really think that at some point I can be friends with him - but it just cannot be now - I mean I miss him - he used to be a great guy - but he has really hurt me and I need to deal with that - MYSELF - So tomorrow is Monday - and I am going to work on me - well begin working on me - I am reading again - huge accomplishment - a friend sent me a book called - Why Men Love *****es from doormat to dreamgirl - looks very interesting - and I have been reading a book called Codependent Nomore by Melody Beattie - very enlightening - and they actually have codependent meetings that I am thinking about attending - So spring is coming - I am going to become happy - Although I am lonely - I have realized that I need to be happy with myself first... Wow what a day for revelations... HUH????? Well thanks to everyone for all of your wonderful advice.... And aren't you all proud that it is finally gone?????

OK and the name of the book is B*tches - I didn't realize it was a bad book when I wrote the name of the title - just in case you were wondering....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> FINALLY!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thank goodness that one step is over and done with now. There are sure to be some upsetting moments as you deal with this new loss... but it's been a LONG time coming... and just like when in recovery, the WS needs to fess up totally and completely for the BS to heal (otherwise d-day will re-occur over and over and over)... you needed his things gone, so that you can move on.

And it's finally going to happen for you! WOOHOO!!!

So... what are you going to do with all that extra S P A C E ??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (In my house, when H's stuff was gone after our separation in 2001, I just enjoyed the emptiness... H is a packrat and I"m not. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ).

Karen

maw,

Sounds like you are doing good and what a great attitude to start a Monday with.

You have already worked on yourself, you just need to continue!!!

The loneliness is rough, but do you really want to go down that road again?

Someday, you can be friends, but it takes work to get there!!!

The meetings sound very good, supportative!!!

Take care, have a great week!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You Go Girl!!

Can I borrow your books when you're done?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
The one in particular sounds good. I know what you mean about reading, isn't that strange, I just started to be able to read again after about a year...no one is messing with my mind now!

Happy Happy Monday!!

Topie - I knew you would be proud - even when he told me he had no place to put all of the stuff -I didn't back down - I needed it gone - actually though the space really doesn't affect me because it is really the shed and the basement - but the simple fact is that it is gone and it is one less thing that I have to talk to him about... Which for me is good - I am really going to try to completely let go and face reality about the divorce and today I really think I can do that.... Yeah!!! Finally huh??? Maybe some light at the end of the tunnel....

Dawn.... I have started working on myself - but I believe that is going to be a huge undertaking - but I think that I am up for the challenge now... I know that I did everything to try and save my marriage it just wasn't gonna work - and I am thinking today - you know what that is ok - that was not something that I could control.... So I am really gonna start the week with a new attitude - I just hope it sticks this time... Thanks for the encouragement....

BrokenX3 - I would let you borrow the book - but frankly I think that it is gonna be one of those books that you have to keep going back and reading it over and over again... I mean - When I started reading it - I was like Oh my god - this is me - It really is interesting you should check it out... I actually used to read like 2 books a week - now I have read - like 3 books in a 1 year and 1/2 - but hopefully I am going to get over that completely soon... I am thinking that yes tomorrow is Monday and now finally I guess I am ready to accept that I am divorced and be ok with it - I know that it is one step at a time - but for some reason I feel up for the challenge... I am important also - so I need to be a little selfish for me now... Thanks for your reply....

Great job Mimi! And he is waffling again huh? Keep being strong. You are great!!! And the classes sound good too. Enjoy the space. Build a workout room or a place for your hobbies.

Let's see how long this guy wants to stay away. You are growing by leaps and bounds. Guys who like to control (darth does this by attempting contact and forcing himself into my home and even in the past six months by attempting to log onto my computer) find out what they are missing. Just wait until he thinks you are seeing someone else...But you will not care probably by then. So that is good. And he has lost the best things in his life.

One day they will wake up and see how their fog has ruined their lives. But we will still be ourselves...But a bit stronger and filled with more faith than before. It is about us now and growing forward.

My mediation day is Friday. I am dreading it. But need prayer big time.

MAW64:
Yeah, well done!
I also have a few things laying about the house that the ex needs to collect or dispose of. I threw a timbivati carpet of hers outside after 6 months of promises to remove it, and she threatened to make me PAY for its ruin......she has a wreck of a car in my backyard, rusting away that she wants me to dispose of for her.......a room and drawers full of her stuff, and old documents.....still no progress.

You've done well, and have inspired me to do the same.
I'll keep ya posted

muzohead

Muzohead - wow I haven't been an inspiration to anyone in a long time... Remember though - this took me almost one year to finally have him get it all out.... I do feel better - Really I do... Though today it is a little sad to me - but I have to face the reality that he is gone and he isn't coming back.... Good luck doing the same - just pack it all up... You will feel better - once you don't have to look at the reminders...

Peachy -- Wow I will be praying for you at your mediation - but you stand your ground - Don't let him take advantage of you - You know what you and your son are entitled to and rightly deserve.... The one good thing that I can say about my ex is that he doesn't believe that the girls need to meet anyone he is dating - which is fine for me - And probably a lot better for them.... Now if only your husband could pick up the same attitude huh??? I just know that I have to strive to be normal again - so my children will stay normal - that is the goal.... Keep me posted on Friday... GOOD LUCK!!!!

Hey Mimi you have mail

Carl

Carl -

You have mail also... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />